How to tell if a friend is being fake with you?

LegacyUser

Hi everyone,
There is a friend of mine that I think is being false with me. I don't have any solid hard proof (unless you'd count that she rarely replies to my texts), I just have a little bit of a gut feeling.
Also, once or twice she has mentioned how we are such good friends, in a way that reminded me of someone else I was friends with, who turned out to have been deceiving me all along, making up lies about me to people behind my back.

The only other tiny bit of evidence I have is that when doing a tarot reading, I often get cards that represent a friend(s) being false, deceitful, etc. I'm not going to rely on this, even though my cards are usually right. I'm just wondering, are gut feelings (even tiny ones) usually right? Have to admit I wasn't half as suspicious of her until I did the reading, but I had been slightly suspicious of her well before that.

StupidLikeAFox

unsure wrote:

Hi everyone,
There is a friend of mine that I think is being false with me. I don't have any solid hard proof (unless you'd count that she rarely replies to my texts), I just have a little bit of a gut feeling.

jus a gut feeling, id wait for more evidence before doing anything

Also, once or twice she has mentioned how we are such good friends, in a way that reminded me of someone else I was friends with, who turned out to have been deceiving me all along, making up lies about me to people behind my back.

right, poor past experience, but a totally different person

The only other tiny bit of evidence I have is that when doing a tarot reading, I often get cards that represent a friend(s) being false, deceitful, etc. I'm not going to rely on this, even though my cards are usually right. I'm just wondering, are gut feelings (even tiny ones) usually right? Have to admit I wasn't half as suspicious of her until I did the reading, but I had been slightly suspicious of her well before that.

Wouldnt trust these at all. Tarot readings are so vague that practically anyone can interpret them/relate to them.

Ya could have a problem but to me it just sounds a bit like paranoia atm. Keep an eye on her but dont go jumpin to any conclusions just yet

D!ve^Bomb!

unsure wrote:

Hi everyone,
There is a friend of mine that I think is being false with me. I don't have any solid hard proof (unless you'd count that she rarely replies to my texts), I just have a little bit of a gut feeling.
Also, once or twice she has mentioned how we are such good friends, in a way that reminded me of someone else I was friends with, who turned out to have been deceiving me all along, making up lies about me to people behind my back.

The only other tiny bit of evidence I have is that when doing a tarot reading, I often get cards that represent a friend(s) being false, deceitful, etc. I'm not going to rely on this, even though my cards are usually right. I'm just wondering, are gut feelings (even tiny ones) usually right? Have to admit I wasn't half as suspicious of her until I did the reading, but I had been slightly suspicious of her well before that.

i think you had a bad past experience with a friend and you're just a little scared to trust this one.. i say forget about it, you haven't got any evidence at all, your 'gut' feeling is your past catching up with you..

why do you feel she is being false? about what?

Nasty_Girl

How long have you been friends with her?
I don't think its fair to judge her on her texts, maybe she doesn't have a great deal of money for credit, unless everyone else you're friends with gets regular messages from her, we need more info!!!

GlanzaGav

unsure wrote:

I'm just wondering, are gut feelings (even tiny ones) usually right?

Hell yes!!

Ya can never go wrong with gut feelins! Ring her up and tell her she's a shlag! And u no longer want to exchange girly chat with her!

Buy yourself a box of milktray's finest, and stuff your face in front of Bridget Jones!

galwaydude18

ah GlanzaGan ur being a bit strong there! you dont even know the girl! you cant be the judge of someone you dont even know mever mind have met!

Zaph

I'd hardly be relying on tarot cards to help in a situation like this. What you need is hard evidence to back up your suspicions, not a load of mumbo jumbo nonsense.

Crucifix

Sometimes I just don't reply to texts because I don't feel like it. I wouldn't take it as a major sign.

b3t4

unsure wrote:

I'm just wondering, are gut feelings (even tiny ones) usually right?

In my experience I have found this to be true.

However I generally don't listen to that gut feeling and do the wrong thing anyways, such is life. It's my "I told you so".

Talk to your friend, it might sort out the whole thing. Excuses that you wouldn't know what to say to her won't do. Ask her straight out, be blunt, no fluffy gray areas.

[edit]
And I will add that I have been in similiar situations in the past. I have a problem with trusting friends. I have asked people straight out and it was generally my overactive imagination and trust issues that had led me to question them. These people are still my friends.
[/edit]

A.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

elivsvonchiaing

If she doen't reply to texts and you're sure this is not a money issue - think your gut is right! Maybe repairable though - keep an open mind! You may have done/said something that seemed unharmful to you - but taken otherwise...

Dathai

Im in the same position with someone very close to myself.I have trust issues with people and I have opened up quite alot and I have some feelings that are quite hard to let out because I have been hurt too quite significantly before plus I have anger problems etc and I fear I will hurt them in more ways than one.
Try your best to see this person through if you pick up on little things question them.I lie sometimes, you forget about the little ones until a major cracker hits you between the eyes.
The person that is close to you is probably trying to hide something they feel will make you think less of them or possibly destroy the friendship/relationship.
If you feel the lies are covering up them talking behind your back to someone, or them cheating on you or something quite serious.Confront them, show them you do care and that there is no point in lying to you.

Shrimp

Go with the gut.. the gut is always right.. I mean look. If your hungry the gut growls, if your scared the gut ****s, and if your right the gut... I kinda lost the point there.. emm.. yeah go for it, ask, kinda underlined questions that may get the answer your looking for (or maybe not looking for) and then plant it on her! tell her how you feel! or how your gut feels! good luck man! :rolleyes:

simu

Sounds like you're being a bit paranoid tbh.

The Sweeper

unsure wrote:

Hi everyone,
There is a friend of mine that I think is being false with me.

The miss piggy mask does it every time.

ChRoMe

I'm in awe I just read the original post and I dont think it would be possible to give less information to discuss. Dont want gorey details but ****ing hell give us something to work with

nesf

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

The miss piggy mask does it every time.

ROFL

Although I've been in the same situation its generally just paranoia speaking. I get bugged by people not answering txts too, but some people are just like that.

As for the tarot cards? Um I've done tarot hun (in my alternative hippy phase of life) and you can't read effectively for yourself, since you'll always weigh the readings subconciously to suit whatever you feel/suspect/want at that moment in time. Plus they are not exactly effective as a way of discerning peoples intentions in my honest opinion. On the other hand they could make you feel as if a person was a certain way without any reason to feel that way.

Dr Bolouswki

best way to know FOR SURE is to stab them very quickly once in each eye... if they forgive you , you know they are a true friend...

Personally, I find it best not to have emotions.

Shrimp

emm yeah.. dont follow bolo's advice on this one..

Davey Devil

Tarot cards? Does anyone believe in that crap? Was listening to Adrian Kennedy the other night and he had this woman on doing it. About 20 people rang in, all women. For the 20 answers the reader gave, 100% had a positive message.

If she got something wrong she'd say, "That must be a bad reading love, I'll just reshuffle the cards", then she'd use the information the woman just told her to give her an answer. She wasn't overly optimistic on all the answers. The general pattern was, "Things might be rough for the next few months but down the line they'll get better". I used to think it was a load of crap, now I know it is.

Oh and to answer the original poster, I'd say it's a case of the paranoia.

Slutmonkey57b

galwaydude18 wrote:

ah GlanzaGan ur being a bit strong there! you dont even know the girl! you cant be the judge of someone you dont even know mever mind have met!

Are you saying this isn't the internet?

LegacyUser

I'm afraid to confront this girl in case I'm completely wrong. We have lots of mutual friends so falling out with her (esp over nothing) would make things very awkward. Plus there's always the danger of me losing other friends over it.

The girl in question is an example of "it's the quiet ones you have to watch". She's a lovely girl, but can be very bitchy sometimes. She's been very good to me so I kinda think that half of this is over the tarot cards. I agree that tarot cards can be very vague but I have had some scarily accurate readings, which probably makes me trust them a little more than I should.

I've had a lot of bad experiences with trusting people, so that comes into it. I'm so used to friendships going wrong that I don't know how to react when they go right. Sometimes I think I can't even recognise when they are going right, because I'm so busy trying to find cracks.

Crucifix

I reckon remain cautious. You obviously don't trust this girl, but that's no reason you can't get along.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

but I have had some scarily accurate readings, which probably makes me trust them a little more than I should.

you don't think maybe they were the same ol' vague responses, you just read too much into them because of whatever was going on at the time?

Oryx

unsure wrote:

I've had a lot of bad experiences with trusting people, so that comes into it. I'm so used to friendships going wrong that I don't know how to react when they go right. Sometimes I think I can't even recognise when they are going right, because I'm so busy trying to find cracks.

Do you think you might already know the answer to your problem? You have to trust people sometime, although maybe dont open your heart completely to this girl right now if it dont feel totally right. Enjoy spending time with this girl and your other friends, dont look for too much, and give it time. You will see if she is a true friend or not if you leave it for a while and dont do anything drastic like creating a row where there isnt one.

neuro-praxis

Does she have shifty eyes?

WhiteWashMan

unsure wrote:

I'm afraid to confront this girl in case I'm completely wrong. We have lots of mutual friends so falling out with her (esp over nothing) would make things very awkward. Plus there's always the danger of me losing other friends over it.

The girl in question is an example of "it's the quiet ones you have to watch". She's a lovely girl, but can be very bitchy sometimes. She's been very good to me so I kinda think that half of this is over the tarot cards. I agree that tarot cards can be very vague but I have had some scarily accurate readings, which probably makes me trust them a little more than I should.

I've had a lot of bad experiences with trusting people, so that comes into it. I'm so used to friendships going wrong that I don't know how to react when they go right. Sometimes I think I can't even recognise when they are going right, because I'm so busy trying to find cracks.

you know what your problem is?

youre an anal retentive.

lose the tarot cards. if they worked, wed all be using them. grow up, stop bolldy worrying about nothing, and try and realise that you are probably not the centre of this girld fúcking universe and that she can do what ever she wants without you being paranoid and accusing her of stuff you *think* is going on in your tiny little brain.

Chinafoot

WhiteWashMan wrote:

you know what your problem is?

youre an anal retentive.

lose the tarot cards. if they worked, wed all be using them. grow up, stop bolldy worrying about nothing, and try and realise that you are probably not the centre of this girld fúcking universe and that she can do what ever she wants without you being paranoid and accusing her of stuff you *think* is going on in your tiny little brain.

while i might not have used those exact words, i have to agree.
you've already admitted that you have problems trusting people and that is clearly the problem here. you're being paranoid in my opinion.
you said shes nice but bitchy sometimes......eh i hate to break it to you love but shes a girl! of course shes gonna be bitchy sometimes. :rolleyes:

you cant base your opinions of everyone on your past experiences, thats really unfair and chances are the only one who'll be missing out here is you.

Slutmonkey57b

If WWM carries on like this I'll have to do a lot more work to get banned.

pickarooney

Jeez, the only thing less reliable than a combination of gut feelings, text speak and tarot cards is the opinions of boards posters.

neuro-praxis

Ah pickarooney; if you're not writing superb limericks you're giving out superb advice.

Miles

Remember just because your paranoid doesn’t mean their not still talking about you.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Being fake with you? has she got anything to gain from you?

She could be just a sh|t friend but maybe you're just not meant to be friends, a guy I used to be pretty much best friends with I've now all but lost contact with him because we're in different colleges and it's inconvienient. Did it used to be easier to be in contact with one another? (school together for example)

By the way I have a feeling I know you, read my profile see if you can figure out who, if so be careful you're being extremely obvious to who this is.

BEAT

pickarooney wrote:

Jeez, the only thing less reliable than a combination of gut feelings, text speak and tarot cards is the opinions of boards posters.

CLASS!!!

it's true ya know, what he said...you cant get the answers you seek from those on the outside, you must find out the truth for yourself, look within.
If that fails then just come out and ask her FFS!
Nothing like good ol' communcation to get the waters running again

Use the force child....do not fear the darkside

Miles

Use your feelings.

Slutmonkey57b

Use somebody else's feelings, they're a lot cheaper.

LegacyUser

Bottle of Smoke, I don't think I know you! What college are you in? Where are you from?