Here ya go again

D!ve^Bomb!

Ok here's another one for you,, tbh i'm not sure about this, i think it's *ok*, but i don't know.. it took me ALOT longer to write that the other one!! Here it is anyway

Passion is the pulsating drum
A vast euphoria with every strum
The wave carries on bleeding
A melody that brings true meaning
The mass look on in awe
To the alien amid this war
With a yearning to sustain
He must move on again
To those who cannot see
That love is the only key

D!ve^Bomb!

anyone?:)

the raven

i think a nice little personal exercise is to just go to a quiet place (literally) and calm your whole body down, let your brain chill and you'll find yourself thinking about all of the important **** that's going on in your life at the moment, it'll arouse and fire you up, you should use this to inspire you to write, let it stream out, un-constrained by the concept of structure and rhyme, let yourself write.

i think you'll improve at rhythm (well, don't concentrate on it and it'll arrive naturally) and rhyme if you stop using it for now. i appreciate and understand your efforts, and this latest is alright but if you let loose you might surprise yourself.

i hope this doesn't seem like idiotic (and patronising) ramblings...

D!ve^Bomb!

not at all.. to be honest i have no clue what i'm doing:D i've never really read much poetry(only in school) so i'm kind of in uncharted waters!

goin'_to_the_PS

i think its good second best one i read so far, but when you said strum did you mean drum?.

the raven

goin'_to_the_PS wrote:

i think its good second best one i read so far, but when you said strum did you mean drum?.

AAARGH! i'm on this board two days and already i'm getting worked up.
PS, broaden your vocabulary, please, do some silly exercise every day where you look up (in a real, yes hardcopy, dictionary) "big" words. do us and yourself a favor.

MojoMaker

What does the poem mean Dive Bomb? What were you trying to express?

Or was it an exercise in wordplay? Perfectly allowed, don't get me wrong.

Often the less you read poetry the better at it you are. The reverse appears to be true for prose however, particularly fiction.

D!ve^Bomb!

What does the poem mean Dive Bomb? What were you trying to express?

Or was it an exercise in wordplay? Perfectly allowed, don't get me wrong.

Often the less you read poetry the better at it you are. The reverse appears to be true for prose however, particularly fiction

It's about music, and how powerful it can, to me anyways..

Passion is the pulsating drum
A vast euphoria with every strum

I'm talking quite literally here, and no i didn't mean drum when i said strum:)

The wave carries on bleeding
A melody that brings true meaning

Again, talkin quite literally, i'm not sure if bleeding was the right word to use tho..

The mass look on in awe
To the alien amid this war

By war i more or less thought of the state of the world in general,


*edit* by alien i obviously mean stranger, but not just a stranger to the people looking on, but a stranger 'amid this war', who knows what power music holds, erm, i can't really explain it any better than that:)

With a yearning to sustain
He must move on again

The poem actually focuses on a particular setting, maybe a small club, where there is a band playing, and the onlookers are just mesmorized by the music that they hear and it kind of puts everythin into perspective. 'A yearning to sustain' is from the point of view from the onlookers as well as the musician(s), but even music has to end

To those who cannot see
That love is the only key

Following on from the last bit, all music must end, and he/they must move on and have the same kind of impact on other people, people that don't really see how much of an effect music can have, who don't realise that nothing really matters etc..

Or do i just like music WAY too much!!:D

This was a damn hard poem for me to write actually, it took me the best part of half an hour! i'm not very good with words you see.. Thank you thesauraus!!:)

MojoMaker

Nice one.