Loneliness

LegacyUser

Hi,
I hate this opening up stuff not my thing at all.

For the last year or so I've had this horrible deep feeling of loneliness, its like dull constain pain in my gut. I have no reason for this, for probably the first time in my life I have great friends outside of the single digits. I won't say I've one best friend but many. There is no reason for feeling so alone. I can be hanging out with my mates having a laugh so underneath that I'm actually very sad, when I'm on my own your more likely to find me curled up in bed doing nothing, just thinking.

I do know the root of this feeling, an exgirlfriend. But I don't want to be with her largely because the person she is now, is completely different to the girl I knew. I should be past her.

I live with this everyday and I'm usually fine, I haven't been so for the last week. Its really starting to get me down.

ven0m

Unreged-person wrote:

Hi,
I hate this opening up stuff not my thing at all.

For the last year or so I've had this horrible deep feeling of loneliness, its like dull constain pain in my gut. I have no reason for this, for probably the first time in my life I have great friends outside of the single digits. I won't say I've one best friend but many. There is no reason for feeling so alone. I can be hanging out with my mates having a laugh so underneath that I'm actually very sad, when I'm on my own your more likely to find me curled up in bed doing nothing, just thinking.

I do know the root of this feeling, an exgirlfriend. But I don't want to be with her largely because the person she is now, is completely different to the girl I knew. I should be past her.

I live with this everyday and I'm usually fine, I haven't been so for the last week. Its really starting to get me down.

know exactly how you feel - it'll take time, & the lonliness comes from not having "the other half" - simple as that. Three options really:

(1) Get under someone else to get over her (many on boards would advocate this..... )
(2) Keep dwelling on her, wreck your own head, make yourself more miserable, go on a path of self destruction & work from there

OR

(3) Try to realise you've good mates, do things to occupy your mind, realise the past is the past & each day is something different, & there's new people to meet, new things to do & try & go grab life by the balls & squeeze hard!!!!!!


::: ven0mous :::

IANOC

you must not punish yourself for this break up m8.because thats what your doing.it will only lead to mental problems or depression.you are who you are and someone out there m or f ,will love you entirely for that.you cant dwell on the past as tomorrow is always a brighter day..........
regards

landser

it sounds like you could be suffering from depression and i would seriously advise you to go to your gp and talk matters through

Sleepy

First off, a lot of us feel that way from time to time. It does sound like you miss your ex, and I know the feeling of missing someone the way they used to be (or the way the used to be to my eyes at least). What I'd read into your post is that you're over the person your ex has become, but maybe you're not over the person she was in the past yet?

Keep going out with your mates, have as much fun as possible. What you seem to be missing is the intimacy of a relationship, and the easiest way to find a new one is to just keep going out and meeting new people

Zulu

I feel (or felt to be more accurate) your pain.
It took a long while for me to work through it, but I did.
All I can say is: go forth and conquer. It took ages, and plenty of unfulfilling encounters for me to get through it, but I did & I'm happy/at peace with myself now.

I know thats no use to you now - but I guess you know also that there is no quick fix to what you're feeling.

LegacyUser

Thanks, I have tried and successed in getting involved in more things, I don't hold myself back anymore, which is the big improvement over the last year. I've made loads of new friends as well. I've really tried hard. But its always there and I'm always aware of the feeling. Walking home last night I was in tears for no good reason. I think I could be relapsing to the state I was in for the first six months of last year, but I'm trying so hard to avoid it.

LegacyUser

Was the same way as you...split with my girlfriend of 5 years in 2001. It was quite difficult for the first 6 months...ended up having loads of one night stands. It always amazes me the way women throw themselves at you when they realise you've just split from a longterm girlfriend. Anyhow went out with 2 birds since, each was far more pleasant and better looking than the previous. Looking back now I dont know why it took me so long to get out there and enjoy myself after the split. I find from my experience of mates splitting from their girlfriends that blokes take far longer to commit\ start seeing someone after a relationship breaks down. We've all been there and unfortunately it probably will happen to me again. It is the worst feeling in the world and I wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy. Find a new challenge for yourself and keep that mind of yours occupied.

Cactus Col

could be depression. try talking to a g.p.