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Monster's Ballad *warning: light of heart need not go yonder*

  • 26-12-2004 12:38am
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 163 ✭✭


    The Monster's Ballad

    Oh lord in heaven, so sworeth did I,
    Not an impure design had I upon she,
    'twas the Lord of flies and fire, I swear it was he,
    From the fetid bowel of heck did he one day decree,

    "As above so below, and thus shall it be,
    Thou shalt decimate this blessed object for me"

    Oh I did pray for my soul! Alone in mine cot,
    Crying out for God, quelling depraved plots,
    But the Devil takes fancy upon those most in need,
    And I was the one most suited to such deeds

    Alone are we now, thine hands be so warm,
    Reveal sinful secrets, trust in God's arm,
    So from inside her thighs and within her eyes,
    Innocence drains to create fecal flies

    And thus is my vice, and know now that I,
    This servant of God, this one above all,
    Can never be saved, lest one thing rings true,
    That I am no man but a monster to you.

    Comments and criticisms welcome.


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,259 ✭✭✭Shiny


    Dark and disturbed.

    I like it. ;)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,260 ✭✭✭MojoMaker


    An excellent piece of writing. Loved it.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,403 ✭✭✭passive


    I like. I like a lot. Twisted and wonderful :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,821 ✭✭✭Skud


    i must continue the praise. Good piece of writing. Like to see some more stuff...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 869 ✭✭✭goin'_to_the_PS


    BleakestH wrote:
    criticisms welcome.
    BleakestH wrote:
    sworeth.
    i'm not sure thats a word but i'm open to correction
    BleakestH wrote:
    quelling depraved plots .
    what does this mean to "crush corrupt plans??"


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 329 ✭✭the raven


    depraved = sexually wanting, perverse, morally corrupt (mostly but not necessarily inclined toward the sexual side)

    this clear it up for u a bit?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 329 ✭✭the raven


    my comment on the poem:
    badly written, pretentious poesy.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 869 ✭✭✭goin'_to_the_PS


    the raven wrote:
    depraved = sexually wanting, perverse, morally corrupt (mostly but not necessarily inclined toward the sexual side)

    this clear it up for u a bit?

    it did. thanks


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,260 ✭✭✭MojoMaker


    the raven wrote:
    my comment on the poem:
    badly written, pretentious poesy.

    You might need to elaborate there. I thought it was interesting, actually quite engaging. As an effort to reproduce a poetry of years gone by I thought it was a valiant effort. This is the way poetry used to be hundreds of years ago!!

    As a parody it works really well.


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