typical day in the life of vince

blackbelt

(wwe hq in connecticut)

vince is at his desk writing plans for new angles and we hear a sucking noise in the background.

vince: I've got it.This years wrestlemania will be in Greenwich conecticut.

Next the rock comes in.

Rock:Hey I overheard you are having wrestlemania in Greenwich
vince:yeah should be a "slobber knocker".Somebody gave me an offer i couldnt refuse.
Rock:Triple H get your punk ass up out of there.The Rock wants wrestlemania to go Hollywood
HHH: no i won't,I'm that damn good.
Vince:Theres no chance in hell that,wrestlemania is going Hollywood this year
Rock:vince u steaming pile of monkey crap,know your role shut your mouth.im going back to Hollywood.

next JR comes in.
JR: Boomer sooner Rock
Rock: shut your piehole jabroni

Vince:i see you've got the documents
JR:YEAH I do
VM: Great then its all set,the Goobledygooker will defeat Maven for the IC Title.I've always wanted to see that match.(HHH still sucking)
JR:me too,while enjoying my good ol barbecue sauce.I also got 8 returns for wm.i've booked pat patterson in a match against Goldust.it will be wooden spoon on a pole match.Sid will square off against Dink in a ladder match.each man has to climb the ladder to get the squeegy.

VM:EXCELLENT IM LOVING IT
JR:Thats not all,i have Hulk Hogan and the Hookster vs Macho man and the nacho man.loser retires to an old folks home.
VM:GREAT.Hulkamania retires and macho man becomes ma bitch and the newest menber of the vince mcmahon kiss my ass club.
JR:Stone Cold said he's not returning in any way shape or form unless he's booked into a shoot match with Tess Broussard.
VM:Damn that rattlesnake,I'll just have to bring back Scott Hall and put him in a match against Debra.Lets see how Austin likes that.

Undertaker comes in

UT:VINCE IV BEEN HERE A LONG TIME AND MY RECORD IS 12-O.HHH you've been down there long enough,I want my record to be 13-0 so get your stank ass up
VM: Oh yeah thats the stuff.....still undertaker,theres a time honoured tradition in the wrasslin business that when a person is retiring,that that superstar shows the respect for those who helped make them what they are.so my decision is final.u shall lose in a buried alive match against harvey whippleman paul bearer and brother love.With an interference.........yes you got none other than luna vachon.
UT:This is ridiculous vince....over a decade of destruction and i lose because of luna vachon.....come on man
VM:ok,mae young and mr fuji will also help bury u alive.
UT: JEEZ THANKS VINCE.MR FUJI MAKES ME LOOK BETTER.
VM:GLAD I COULD HELP (UT LEAVES)

JR: Vince i just heard that if scott hall is coming back that kevin nash is coming with him playing tag along.
VM: NOT ON MY SHOW,he'll do what i tell him to do.He'll wrassle in a dark match and job to stephanie
HHH:Great idea dad,now that the kliq is dead and buried and it'll be a good victory for steph that should be sign to those gullible fans that i will win in the main event over the entire raw roster.
JR:Not to mention the returning Ultimate Warrior...i see it now.HHH gets his revenge 10 years later after the squash job at wm12.

VM:I also hated that retard.He ran me over loads of times.Don't worry,by summerslam he shall be in the glue factory along with Jeff Jarrett and Roddy Piper.
JR:Pity we couldn't get Hitman
VM:Well its his own fault,if he wants to prance around in his pjs in front of some snot nosed children then so be it.He just doesn't know of the 5million dollar payoff i would've given.Remember ....Bret screwed Bret

HBK comes in in a wheelchair.
HBK:VINCE WE NEED TO TALK,MY BACK AND MY KNEES are injured again.And i've also lost my smile.
VM:Great that give me an idea.
JR:What now?
VM: i see it now...shawn michaels the man who lost his smile and jeff hardy the man who lost his passion for wrasslin back in 2003.They can form a stable called the losers club.I plan on bringing back brooklyn brawler and the bushwhackers to join the stable and they shall be managed by jameson.perfect,now evolution has competition

Paul Heyman: what the f$$k.what about EC f'n W
VM:what about it?
PH: OH VINCE GO F$$K URSELF.YOU AXED ME FROM THE CREATIVE TEAM ALREADY.
VM: SHHUUUT UP.RVD will bring the former ECW wrasslers out onto the stage.Then I shall fire their asses on the titantron.If you dont like that you can kiss my ass.(Heyman thinking he said Kick)
PH: Fine then i'll kick ur ass....at wrestlemania.(vince thinking he said kiss)(they shake hands)

Eric Bishoff walks in

eb:u know im fed up of being held back.sure im the gm of raw but what about my accomplishments...what about wcw.i led wcw to 84 weeks in a row of tv ratings over wwf/wwe.
VM: yeah like that was so 1997 when i had no grey hair.now that tna are becoming more popular im as grey as a badger.F$$k dubblya c dubblya.at least ecw were co-operative when we stole all their talent.
PH: yeeah f'n right (the room goes silent and they look around in embaraasment)

VM:ANYWAY my mind is made up,now get out of my office,we've work to finish.(sucking noises in the background)

smiaras

This post has been deleted.

TimAnne

thats some of the best fan fiction i've read this year, bro.

hot stuff!

blackbelt

ah smiaras wheres your sense of humour.timanne i can post more if you want

Mr.Nice Guy

blackbelt wrote:

JR:me too,while enjoying my good ol barbecue sauce.I also got 8 returns for wm.i've booked pat patterson in a match against Goldust.it will be wooden spoon on a pole match.Sid will square off against Dink in a ladder match.each man has to climb the ladder to get the squeegy.

LOL!

The Fitz

that was jus that damn good, fuuny **** dude, keep it up!