rape (not me)

LegacyUser

One of the guys ("Bob") at work quit yesterday. Just picked up his stuff while the boss was out, shook my hand and said he wouldn't be back. Doesn't want to work here anymore. This had been building for a week.

The boss is understandably upset and can't understand the Bob's reasoning and is defaulting to "blaming" Bob and is badmouthing him BIGTIME.

Now, Bob told be last week that his girlfriend had been raped (I had overheard parts of a phonecall which I presume was her telling him, but hearing only part of half the conversation, I didn't know what was going on).

It's not my place to tell the boss that she was raped, but how do I get him out of blame mode?

AngryBadger

Just tell him there is stuff Bob has to deal with, but you're not at liberty to divulge what it is.

joejoem

Stuck between a rock and a haard place me thinks. It would be tough to tell your boss, because you will be betraying your friends confidence. Are you sure there is'nt more to it (between your boss and friend?)

Maybe if you said it to your boss in private, and asked him not to say it to anyone else. The poor guy must have enough on his plate.

uberwolf

step in. Tell the boss that he has very legimate non work related reasons and to back off.

Beruthiel

CaughtInMiddle wrote:

It's not my place to tell the boss that she was raped, but how do I get him out of blame mode?

I am of the opinion that if he wanted your boss to know, he would have told him.
It is not your place to talk to anyone about half a telephone conversation that you overheard – the only thing you can say to your boss in his defence is you think he was having some personal problems he had difficulty dealing with.

seamus

joejoem wrote:

Maybe if you said it to your boss in private, and asked him not to say it to anyone else. The poor guy must have enough on his plate.

No. Bad idea.

It's not your place to tell anyone else this. If Bob wants to give your boss a reason, fine, but otherwise stay out of it. If you have your boss's ear, or if he trusts your word, do as AngryBadger says. Say privately that Bob had some personal problems to deal with, that he just couldn't continue working, and you can't and won't divulge. If the boss doesn't listen, then he doesn't listen.

mayordenis

tell your boss that you dont want to hear anything said about it dont give him areason just say nothing needs to be said end of story, tell him to forget about bob and that it making an unfair climate in the work environment for him to be talking about bob in such a manor

DeVore

What Seamus said.

DeV.

BolBill

Yeah Seamus is spot on.

Going Demented

That's something private for him and his girlfriend to deal with as they see fit. It's not your place to tell anyone for any reason. He may have been rash in leaving the job but that's his choice, as was it his choice not to tell his boss and request leave instead. He obviously does not want his boss to know, steer clear.

Lump

Tell him to mind his own fúcking business.

John

cajun_tiger

your boss probably knows. or if he doesn't its not his business to know. nor is it yours, your x work mate may have told you as in to tell someone. just forget about it say nothing.

Evil Phil

Aye, this is a private matter and not really anything to do with you. Well done for caring but ssshh.

koneko

Seamus is a smartie pants. Your boss has no right to know, it's a very private matter for your friend I imagine and if he wanted others to know he'd tell them himself. Just tell him to back off, Bob has reason to be upset, and to please stop badmouthing him (at least around you).

fozzle

On absolutely no account should you tell your boss. If he/she asks you why "Bob" left then sure, tell him/her that you believe he was having some personal or family problems but do not, under any circumstances, even suggest what actually happened, it is none of your boss' business, and there is no need for him/her to know, he/she just has to deal with the fact that "Bob" left.

Slutmonkey57b

Tell the boss to shut his mouth. Then make sure you keep yours shut too. Really, there's nothing you can do for this situation apart from maybe call Bob and see how he's doing occasionally.