Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

i new

  • 07-12-2004 8:53pm
    #1
    ailbhe
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8 ✭


    hey ne advice on coming out although im not sure if i want to or not yet the thing is im kinda young like still in my teens and think it might freak out all my girl freinds although i know the guys wud love it.how did yall meet ur first partners since theres not that many aroun and where shud i start looking??


Comments

  • #2
    Boston
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,163 ✭✭✭✭Boston


    I Presume that your pre 16 and Female? Question you have to ask yourself is, do you have a burning desire to out yourself. Will it bring anything beneficial to your life. If Not, then what's the point? It very well could freak out all your girl friends, even more so it your attracted to any of them. What makes you say the boys would love it, If that's your only motivation to come out, you may get a nasty shock.

    What do you feel yourself about where you are in life. You have to ask allot of questions, make certain your sure what your doing.

    Is it just normal teenage questioning of you place in the world and how you fit in.

    Is it to be different (at your age you can't rule it out)

    Is it to gain the attention of the opposite sex.

    How will your family react.

    How will you deal with said reaction.

    How will your friends react

    If badly are you prepared to loose them(maybe them all)

    Are you at a place in your life, where your confident enough in your own mind about yourself, not to be swayed by others, in either direction.

    If you have feelings for other girls, have they a physical element to them. Just because you've feelings for another girl, doesn't mean you'll ever take it to a sexual level.

    Are you basing all this around one experience?

    It's complicated, and once your out, you'll not be coming back in so to speak.


  • #3
    damien
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,290 ✭✭✭damien


    Yoda wrote:
    Syntax and spelling here strike me as trollish. Sorry if it's not true, but that's the impression I get.

    You're just used to people writing to you properly. I chat to a lot of young people and their grammar and syntax are very like this. The youth of today.

    My main advice is that you first need to come out to yourself. Whether you are curious, bi or gay. A lot of people seem to think that writing it down helps (but tar up the note if you are worried at exposing your sexuality to others). Some others suggest saying it out loud and see how you feel about it.

    Telling the first person about your sexuality is intimidating, but it gets easier. Your heart will be in your mouth or be pounding away. Just don't feel pressured that you have to tell anyone. When you are ready then you can come out.

    If you're in dublin have a look at http://belongTo.org, they're a helpful bunch and some of the facilitators who run the meetings are as young as 16. Also for women there's the fantastic lesbian website www.linc.ie

    It's very hard to meet someone of your own age when you are young and not out. Generally it's through friends of friends or through some way of recognizing that the person also likes the same sex - the infamous (and sometimes wrong) "gaydar" and I don't mean the trollish website.


Advertisement