Troubled Friend help please

Lorcan26

basically, a firend of mines life is really ****ed up. his dads and alcoholic and his mums got depression. recently hes becoming really withdrawn, and lonely, and is gettin frustrarted all the time. he got in a detenion at his school for somehting he didnt do, but cant really fully say why its not fair as a friend of his was involved and didnt get done in. hes started cutting himself, and making himself sick. hes told me all this i dont know what to do as a friend, and i dont know what he should do.
help please

vibrant

I'd suggest the Samaritans... if you're not comfortable speaking to them on the phone, try http://www.samaritans.org/ or jo@samaritans.org

You won't be able to solve all of your friends' problems, but perhaps you'll be able to help him find much better ways of dealing with them.

zenith

Treat this as a cry for help, and get him some help. He may not ask again.

Go together to teachers and explain. Find a sympathetic one, if others are being hard on him. Ask if he can be referred to the school psychologist for a chat. If you can talk him into it, get him to explain matter-of-factly to his parents, and get them to acknowledge that 'snap out of it, son' isn't going to work this time.

There's lots he can do: he's got to initiate most of it himself.

You should remember that all you can do is try to help, but you can't take complete responsibility for him and his actions. You should advise, argue and insist, but if he won't move, say your piece, tell anybody else that'll listen, and don't blame yourself.

If it comes down to it, it's a straight choice: advise others that he needs help (and maybe lose him as a friend (but if he starts thinking straight, he'll know that you're a true friend) or potentially let the problem get worse.

Good luck. You sound like your heart is in the right place. Follow it up with some action (he won't be in 'trouble' for being in difficulties - we all need help sometimes) and you'll have done as much as you can reasonably do.

Lorcan26

Thankyou.

MistressPandora

Sometimes, a friend will tell you things and won't like the advice you give, but the main thing to do is be supportive. It's a tough place where you are, but you sound like you care about him a lot, so stick by him. He'll appreciate it soon
Good luck, and you can always pm me if you want to rant. I have a few friends who've been where your friend is, and I've been there myself.

Lorcan26

Cheers MP for the offer, ive talked to my friend about this, and i talked it all through with him offered support etcetc, andhe sdaid that he wanted to go and get help. he said he was gonna see his doctor soon, and he said he wasnted to get it sorted asap. thanks guys for your help.

tinkerbell

Glad to hear he's getting the support he needs from you, you're a good friend