Advice in dealing with a teacher

JackieChan

Hi Guys/Gals,
I'm looking for some advice on what to do with this:
I have a 5 year old boy in junior infants.

In school today his teacher broke the nose off a snowman that was in the class(perhaps an accident, I dont really know the circumstances)
My son stood up and asked why she broke it and she told him to sit down or she'd do the same to him.

My partner and I intend on talking to her in the morning about this. My little lad is asking me why she said this to him and a bit fearful or returning to school tomorow!! I'm wondering how to approach it.

I shall talk to some family members this evening and see what they think, in the meantime,I'd be interested in any advice

JC

garthv

wow,
that cant be good...if i was you talk to the teacher,tell her to apologise to your son and keep talking to your son about your teacher in future,not to check up exactly but just to make sure you're son is in the best learning environment for him

GeorgeBailey

Teachers are human too and prone to having a bad day like the rest of us. If getting snappy is the worst thing s/he has done then I wouldn't take too much heed to it... particularly if this is a once-off.
I'm sure your son will recover.

JackieChan

I'm wondering should I just let it lie too.

The thing is that the teacher is a bit funny, I would describe her as slightly eccentric.She is very quick to brush parents off and other parents have issues with her.

I will not tell me son that it is ok for her to say that to him and let her off.
I think that an apology to my son would at least show him that if you do something wrong you apologise and life carries on.

JC

Zombienosh

she is only human, but at the same time she teaches 5 year old kids if shes having a bad day she shouldn't take it out on them. Talk to her and let her know your aware of the incident and you'd appreciate if she didn't make comments like that again.

JackieChan

-AlcoholicA-,
I'm afraid of souring the relationship that exists.
I know the talk will have to be low key so that my message gets through to her.

JC

bandraoi

the teacher was probably joking.
mention it in passing to the teacher that your kid was scared by it.
Tell your son it was a joke and he shouldn't be afraid.

Astro1996

I had a similar thing happen to me in school many moons ago, my parents got in touch with the principal who in turn had a word with the teacher involved. The next day the teacher called me back at the end of one of the classes and apologised to me and said they were sorry, i said it was ok and everything was grand from then on.

koneko

Have a private little chat with her just to tell her it upset your son. That way it comes across as though you're not judgemental or angry just looking out for everyone's best interests.

I agree everyone has an off day, but taking it out on a 5-year-old is not something that should happen. Perhaps a quiet chat, just tell her "he was a little upset by it, I just wanted to let you know" so she can be more sensitive about these things in future.

GeorgeBailey

bandraoi wrote:

the teacher was probably joking.
mention it in passing to the teacher that your kid was scared by it.
Tell your son it was a joke and he shouldn't be afraid.

Exactly

Highlander

GeorgeBailey wrote:

Teachers are human too and prone to having a bad day like the rest of us. If getting snappy is the worst thing s/he has done then I wouldn't take too much heed to it... particularly if this is a once-off.
I'm sure your son will recover.

There is a difference between being snappy and verbally threating a 5 year old child with violence which is basically what she did. I'd suggest having a word with the teacher first and wouldnt be worried about souring any relationships, your child is entrusted to the care of the school and to the teacher and you are entitled to feel that your child is in a secure environment

climaxer

....well I would definiatly approach the teacher and give her the benefit of the doubt and hope she was having a bad day and kind've joking. Which is probably what it was BUT I would then say to not let it happen again or else you will inform the principal as its inappropriate to say such a thing to a 5 yr old whether its joking, temper or any other reason. Tell your 5 yr old the teacher was only jokin and didn't mean it seriously like when someone pretends to take your nose or something so your child won't feel scared to go to school. Kids at this age can be very sensitive and the strangest of things could scare them. Let us know how you get on...

JackieChan

I took some time off work this morning to talk to the teacher.

I had to pay for some school photos so it was good to be able to start talking about something unrelated. I then told her what my son had said.
She immediately apologised and said that it was an off the cuff remark with no menace meant.(My fear was that she would deny it and leave me with no recourse to talk to the principal)
I took the attitude was that i understood that she didn't mean anything by it but explained that my lad was a bit concerned about it. I told her he loves school, his teacher and even his work!!
She apologised profusely and I explained that I was concerned about how he had interpreted.I asked her to talk to him about it. This way I feel he will understand that although his teacher made the remark that there was nothing to it.The conversation then drifted on to his performance which was good to discuss and so everything worked out fine.

I must admit, I am want to avoid confrontation and I went away feeling that it was actually a positive thing! As I had my first proper chat with her and got some good feedback on his performance.

I'll debrief my son carefully today on how school went and then wipe the board clear and move on!
Thanks for your advice and spending the time to respond. I'll give a final update tomorrow.

JC

climaxer

Thats great news and the good feedback on his performance is even better - the poor woman is probably mortified now but you def did the right thing and everyones seems ok now. Speaking of PTM's - I have one at 4:25 today.

RicardoSmith

Thanks for posting this - JackieChan. Very informative thread!

ArthurDent

I think that the fact she admitted it to you is very positive and if I were you I'd be happy to put it down to an off the cuff remark (and who hasn't been guilty of that?) I would have been much more concerned if it had been denied or ignored or if you had been told you were making too big a deal Well done to you for following upwith her

cajun_tiger

it great that you've got through that all well and good, hope you son doesn't mind too much

gubby

glad it worked out for you.. it was definatly the best way to handle it. at least now she knows that your son tells you what goes on in school. a good few years ago I had a lot of problems with my sons teacher. He was around 9 yrs at the time. One day she was giving out to him for his messy writing.. and said something like "if this is the state of your copy I would hate to see your house" I saw red.. and even though i am not one to go running to teacher I called to her and she got very red am muttered something like that she said "his room" instead of "his house" not much diffirence i think. This teacher had a very bad effect on my son. we ended up having to take him for help and to my horror he was put on anti depressants until he moved into a diffirent teacher. and even thought he is 18 now I still worry about him as he can get ver down from time to time. I know teachers are only human and I would not have their job for love or money.. but that is why we should keep an eye on things for ours kids sake.
sorry for going on.