New childminder dilemma and expectations

misc2013

Do your childminders do light housework? I had a fab childminder in the past who used to ask me for jobs to do when my child was napping without being asked. Then we've been lucky not to need one for a long time but work has changed so back to needing a minder again. So fast forward a good many years from first in home minder to now. Kids are a good age 9, 12. Very independent. So really, they don't need minding, just supervision. Being out of the recruiting zone; I placed an advert and emphasised school run, homework, meal prep ( which is something I have made in advance that only needs microwave). Kids don't really need help with homework anymore, only an odd time. Thing is, I wrongly assumed she would do an odd household thing like empty the dishwasher or wipe the table after the dinner but she hasn't done anything like that. Now I'm raging that I didn't specifically ask her to. Kids tell me she's on her phone or reading her book. I am wondering would it have been reasonable to expect small jobs when the kids don't actually need minding? A part of me thought that she still might do the odd thing in order to help me but clearly because I didn't specify, she's there purely to supervise. And now I can't really ask her to as it's too late. I've given her a few weeks to see if she took any initiative but never.

One morning the dishwasher was on when I left for work and the next lot of dishes were stacking up. My heart sank that evening when nothing had been touched. Yes I know i didn't ask her to, but still!

I came home yesterday after a long day and as a typical day, the dishwasher needed to be emptied, kids lunchboxes emptied and cleaned, kids swimwear bags emptied and put in the wash, floor needing a sweep and table needing a wipe plus a wash to be hung out and if any ONE of those things had been done when i got home, it would have been one less thing. I had a friend's daughter minding the kids one evening as a favour and without being asked, she was so kind as to empty the dishwasher that clearly needed to be done and i was so delighted. Simple but kind.

I won't need her for summer months so when she started I said IF all goes well, I'd need her again in September but part of me feels like getting someone new in September which includes light household cos to be honest, it costs enough and my friends have told me that in the past, light household duties were par for the course with their childminder. They are at a different age and stage than me now so perhaps it's not as common? Are childminders accepting of light housework? Is it a risk to try to get somebody new that will do some housework when I have found someone to mind them and for all that she needs to do, is OK?

I'm kicking myself for not specifying it before taking her on. Or would she have taken the job??

Thoughts?

Big Bag of Chips

Some people will just do this without being asked, or without it being part of 'the job'. But, I think at 9 and 12 your children should be doing a lot of those jobs themselves. So you could maybe put it to her in such a way that she gets them to do the jobs and she helps or supervises to make sure they do.

Mundo7976

You hired a childminder, not a housemaid. Shes doing her job!

airy fairy

Childminder hired, is doing child minding. You didn't specifically ask for her to be a cleaner/housekeeper, so why should she.

What do your kids do when they finish their primary school homework?

Maybe during the summer get your kids to learn to do some of those chores. At 9 and 12 they should already be emptying the dishwasher, filling it, sweeping the floors, cleaning down surfaces.

baxterooneydoody

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123522025#Comment_123522025

This is a great point OP, if your kids can't do these simple chores for themselves make sure over the summer you make them aware this is what's expected of them. Unless you specifically included light house keeping duties to the childminder you're the one in the wrong expecting her to go outside of her role.

893bet

I would ask her now, if she is not receptive to it then you know you need someone new in September.

ranoutofcoffee

I think wiping down the table after the kids have meals should be done from purely a healthy environment point of view. Fair enough the other stuff if was not agreed.

volchitsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123522025#Comment_123522025

I definitely agree with this.

Just as a general thing though, I'm amazed that someone would be in a house all day and NOT wipe down the table after a meal. Is she very young? Because if so, she may not really know how to get the children to do the clearing up either.

Bogey Lowenstein

Maybe as you didn't tell her to do housework she thinks you might not want her doing it.

misc2013

Good idea.

misc2013

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123522025#Comment_123522025

Fair enough food for thought.

misc2013

I get that. I didn't ask her to do anything else but I'm sorry now that I didn't that I didn't as anecdotally some in-home minders do some light household tasks and my previous in home childminder usedto ask me for jobs to do to help. And I guess I was naive thinking that she might at least leave the table wiped and floor swept.

misc2013

To be fair, they do their chores at the weekend. They could take up to an hour doing homework so I let them unwind and have a snack when they get in from school with homework at 4pm..

But maybe I need to get them to do more after school.

misc2013

Maybe.

misc2013

ReRegarding age, she's a mature lady, late 50s.

airy fairy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123523182#Comment_123523182

I assume both kids are primary? How are they only getting in from school at 4pm?

It's odd enough a 50+ year old wouldn't wipe down a table though, a student or young person I'd roll my eyes at but an older woman? , that's dirty even if the kids clean up.

mykrodot

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123523186#Comment_123523186

Hi OP

I minded 3 primary school kids after school in my early 50's. I was asked to collect them from school by car, supervise homework and if needed to help with it, make dinner which often meant peeling and cutting up veg , making a Bolognese from scratch, or salmon and spuds etc. I often made homemade dessert like a crumble or fruit salad as well.

I took it as a given that I would wash up and dry up after cooking and giving them their dinner, or else put things dishwasher. I also wiped down all surfaces, swept floor, and did ironing if I had time. I absolutely loved the kids and the job and would have felt very strange not to do any of the above. In fact I far preferred doing the odd jobs in their house than I did in my own! I used to love when the mum came home and was relieved kids were fed, homework done and kitchen nice and tidy.

I wouldn't pay someone to mind kids and not do these small jobs. I think you should ask her if she could clean up after meals, sweep floor, put dishes away when she has time. If she doesn't want to that's fine but get someone in September who does!

misc2013

Thanks for that. I'll seriously consider finding someone else for September but specify some jobs this time. God, even just to have a dinner prepped and tidy kitchen would be amazing.

misc2013

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123523903#Comment_123523903

They get in at 3pm.They have their snack and a play and unwind till 4. My older boy has additional needs so he really needs that time to unwind after school. Then homework. My older boy could take an hour at homework, the younger one 40min. Tea at 5, reheated from day before so takes 5 mins- deliberately so she doesn't have to cook and i know they'll eat it..I'm home by 5.45/6.

Just curious tho for future reference, if I do decide to re-advertise, do any of you have a home- based minder that does light housekeeping and if so what do you expect him/her to do? My minder is there for 2.5-3 hours. I was chatting to someone yesterday who has a great arrangement. Her regular cleaning lady evolved into the kid's minder as she was able to collect the kids from school too ( when old enough to not need minding, just supervision). Maybe I should try advertise for a cleaner who can do the school pick up! :-)

Best of both worlds! :-)

The summer gives me a get out clause so food for thought...

CPTM

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123523182#Comment_123523182

Just my take but if you emphasised two or three things I know plenty of people who wouldn't think about going beyond that.. especially hanging out someone's washing. If you like/trust them and would rather they step up, in September you could say that things changed in work that is leaving you with less time to do the housework. You can say you have someone that will do those bits while they're minding the kids but that you like her and trust her and prefer her and wanted to check if she would be willing to do it before offering the role to the other person. While at the same time saying that it's totally fine if not. Sort of resets things without a big discussion. I'm not very confrontational so I understand the lack of appetite to address it directly.

Foggy Jew

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123527426#Comment_123527426

Problem there is that the childminder will probably expect more money.

Dr Turk Turkelton

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123527449#Comment_123527449

Agreed. Wouldn't even try to have the childminder change op as she just sounds lazy.

Use the summer to find a good replacement and set out your expectations before they start.

mykrodot

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123527451#Comment_123527451

+100%. Op is the one who is hiring, she is the one who dictates what the job entails. The job spec is not written in stone for childminder/homehelpers ….. the parent gets to decide what the person does and if not they she hires someone who is willing to do those few jobs!

It takes 5/10 minutes to hang out a wash, unload dishwasher ,wipe down a table. If kids are doing homework that's when those small chores should be done.