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Should I distance myself from my friend

  • 01-10-2024 11:30am
    #1
    kerrygal32
    Registered Users, Users Awaiting Email Confirmation, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2 ✭


    Hey lads, new user here, I was looking for some advice as I have a friend dilemma. Long story short we've been friends 25 years and my friend been in a relationship for almost two years now. At the start of the relationship they distanced themselves from me to spend all their time with their new partner and in return I got on with my life and just stopped asking to meet up. My friend has since started messaging me wanting to meet up but when we do, I see that they've changed a lot! I don't even recognise them anymore. Constant talking about their life and bitching about other people, cursing and is now quite cheeky (my friend was never like any of the above before meeting their current partner). They never ask how I am doing or how my life is going and if I do try and talk about it they revert back to talking about themselves and has no interest in my life anymore. My friend and I met for lunch last week and was dreading it to the point I was so anxious, I shouldnt feel like this meeting a friend, right? I don't think this friendship is working anymore, as they are not the person I used to know. My question is how do I distance myself without falling out with them and getting on with my life?

    Post edited by Spear on


Comments

  • #2
    kerrygal32
    Registered Users, Users Awaiting Email Confirmation, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2 ✭kerrygal32


    Sorry if I posted this in the wrong forum 🫤



  • #3
    Baybay
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,141 ✭✭✭Baybay


    It’s always difficult distancing from a friendship as there are no definitives like when a relationship ends. Unless of course there’s an obvious row.

    If you’re sure this is an end, for the moment at least, becoming less available usually makes it obvious to the other party that their distance is appreciated. It also can mean if an interest in reactivating the friendship further down the line occurs, there’s no real ill feeling to be thrashed out.

    Your friendships should be sources of joy & support, not anxiety.



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