Unreported Head pump in Creche

Yellow_Blue

Hi All,

We have started creche 1 months ago. We are almost 2 y.o in a room with 2+yo toddlers. On Thursday I picked up my daughter to go to doctor visit and after we came out from the docror (after 20-30 min) I've noticed bruice and bump on her forehead. It wasn't there on a pick up, because I would have noticed it.

Next morning it became even more prominent. Creche manager talked to the room stuff and they say she was in a great mood the whole day and they ve no clue what have happened.

It doesn't look like anything major, but she probably had 3 bumps total at home till now. I'm a bit worried they havet seen anything at all. Now I keep thinking of what is actually going on and unavlble to focus on work.

Anything I can do about this?

We were offered place in another creche which is think I've already lost due to my reluctance to go through the stress again and I'm thinking it's a good sign we should change.. May be there is a way to get our 1200 euro deposit back as well

Big Bag of Chips

Bumps tend to show up pretty much immediately. So if the bump wasn't there when you collected her and only appeared 30 minutes later it's likely she bumped her head somewhere after you collected her. Kids bump things regularly. She was ok when you collected her and the staff said she was fine all day.

You are unlikely to get your deposit back. I think this is not something to be concerned about for the moment. But obviously something for you to keep an eye on. 2 year old get a lot of knocks and bumps. They're generally exactly the right height for bumping off the corner of tables!

Yellow_Blue

We were in a stroller all the time after, there is no other way to get her to doctor, there was nowhere to bump, and 2 of us were were her. We only have one child and kind of obsessive patlrents so we couldn't have missed something like that

Jim_Hodge

Toddlers have bumps all the time. Relax. It's part and parcel of having kids that age. I feel you're overreacting regarding the creche.

StrawbsM

Considering you had your child at the doctors after crèche and they didn’t notice a bump nor say anything at all then I wouldnt be worrying if I were you.

Occupational hazard of being a kid is bumps and bruises.

endacl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122642289#Comment_122642289

Try to be less obsessive. It’ll be much better in the long run for all three of you.

Yellow_Blue

I do appreciate deep psychological assessment here, but I thought that formal process for the creche is to get you to sign a paper for falls and head-bumps?

The only reason I am saying we are obsessive is just to highlight that we always know of whereabouts of our little one and wouldn't miss a head bump. She had few with us obviously but the key is, we always saw what actually have happened. And I would appreciate same from the childcare. If they have no clue about children whereabouts, may be we should have continued with nanny. I wasnt aware of the fact that it's normal. All my fiends have doezens of these "head-bump papers" and some said that one out of 10 was unreported. But the difference here that we have just started and its out very first incident and it's unreported and unnoticed. 100% fail rate, if it makes sense.

I would give them a benefit of the doubt, but now we have a 2nd creche options plus my nanny hasn't found new client as yet, so it's not to late to take U-turn. These options will be gone in a couple.od weeks, if this wi happen again I will have to take career break untill we find different option, which might take up to the next September.

kabakuyu

No one knows where your child bumped its head,not even you.

Time to move on.

airy fairy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122642504#Comment_122642504

I'm sure you've left your child alone for a few minutes yourself while you've had to use the toilet or answer the door, maybe left in a cot awake or whatever? They bump and fall without much of a fuss a lot of the time.

It's quite possible your child may have hit a book against his head, another child's arm might have done it when playing together grabbing a toy....and it's quite possible you may have given a beaker of water or bottle to your child while in the stroller and walloped themselves, or even while in the doctor surgery.

The staff in crèche cannot watch every tiny mishap your child will have, even in a 1 to 1 basis.

I think you are looking for excuses to leave the crèche and you're quite within your rights to leave, but getting a deposit back for a bruise that appeared after your collection time is ott.

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122642504#Comment_122642504

Your child may not have bumped their head in crèche so I don't know why you expect them to have followed a formal process. You could be unnecessarily blaming the crèche for something that didn't happen. You have said yourself she didn't have a bump when you collected her which suggests something happened after. Could she have hit her head off the buggy somewhere..

Sometimes bruises and bumps come up for very little. I'm sure she has also gotten bumps, bruises and scrapes while in your care. She's at the wobbly stage where falls are part of being an almost 2 year old. When my kids were in crèche you were alerted and incident was recorded if it was warranted not every time they fell over or bumped into something. If this was the case they would have to employ a full-time admin person filling out forms.

If your child is happy in the crèche give them the benefit of the doubt this time. My experience is that even a small child has their ways of letting you know they are not happy there. If your child is happy going in every morning that's a good sign if she's reluctant than maybe change crèche.

Yellow_Blue

Seriously?? I would never leave my child unattended at this age. She goes to toilet with me and I wouldn't go answer the door without her. She did fall from the sofa while dancing, while I went to turn off the overbooilinf water, but again we saw what happened.

I feel like people inf his thread don't care about their kids at all.

volchitsa

Children in a creche are in a group - that's part of learning social skills. You can't expect staff to notice a bump that was so small you didn't notice it yourself at first. TBH if I were the creche I'd think it happened while you had her. I'm not saying it did, but you can see how they would believe that. So I don't see how you'd get your deposit back.

Bumps are part of life for a two year old. If you weren't working and had her at home all the time, I can guarantee you wouldn't be able to swear for sure that you saw when/where she got every single bump. Because you'd be doing housework and cooking etc, and you wouldn't have her right in your line of sight all the time.

So I don't think it's fair to expect the creche to treat each child as though they are only children with a mother who does no work except look after her child. Because that doesn't exist in the longer term, even with stay at home mothers.

And I'm speaking as someone whose daughter once got very badly bitten at creche, so I know the difference between a bump, which happens, and a real problem.

(Obviously if you want to change though, you can. But will she be any happier at the new place? If you think she would, then go for it. But if it was just one of those things that happens, and she is well settled there otherwise, then how can you be sure it won't happen at the next place?)

Princess Calla

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122642576#Comment_122642576

There's a difference between being over protective and neurotic.

Honestly you are falling into the neurotic category.

You are doing your child a complete disservice by being so protective.... honestly bringing them into the toilet with you is absolutely bonkers.

Your child will pick up on your panic and will likely end up extremely anxious themselves.

One piece of advice that was given to me was "let kids learn to fall" ....the person who gave me the advice had seen her friend wrap her kids in cotton wool then when they reached a stage were indepence was key (around 10) it was broken bone after broken bone as the kids were clueless, clumsy and uncoordinated.

The creche will definitely say it happened on your watch. Even if this "wildly escalated" the doctor will confirm there was no mark on the child that they saw.... again pointing back that it happened on your watch!

Honestly for your own sanity dial it back a few notches.

Kids fall, kids bump, kids cry it's pretty much their job!

volchitsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122642576#Comment_122642576

I hadn't seen this. My comment would be that you have got this safety thing the exact wrong way around: I would NOT let a small child "dance" on the sofa. Much less leave them alone while doing so, even for an instant.

IMO you need to develop a sense of what is genuinely dangerous and what is not.

Getting a bump doing something is not always evidence that the activity is dangerous. But standing/running/dancing on a sofa - which is not intended for standing up on, so they are likely to topple off - is dangerous.

That's just looking for them to fall off and hurt themselves. But even if you're there, well - you saw yourself what happened: a moment's inattention and they can fall. Plus you're teaching them that standing up on the sofa is fine, so they're going to do it when you're not there. And one day, you won't be. Your job is to teach them (gradually) to manage without your constant presence - while YOU evaluate what is really dangerous and what isn't.

Running around, or dancing, on the floor (whether at the creche or at home) is necessary to develop physical coordination skills, and sometimes children will bang into each other or objects. That's part of the learning process.

BTW: you'll notice that I haven't taken from my disagreement about your actions, the notion that you "don't care about your child" - that really would be uncalled for and offensive.

Jim_Hodge

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122642576#Comment_122642576

Roll it in a bit. You are completely overreacting. As for thinking others here don't care about their children: That's out of order and uncalled for. You need to be a bit less overprotective of your child. How they'll survive primary school escapes me.

...Ghost...

I understand where the OP is coming from. Clearly the fact that the creche didn't notice a toddler had a head bump is a serious matter and an investigation must be immediately carried out with all CCTV recovered from all properties between the creche and the doctors. Going forward, the child must wear a full suit of cotton wool and a motorcycle helmet with built-in bio hazard filters. The next sneeze could be a world ending epidemic.

Kids get bumps and bruises. It's normal. The problem here is not the creche. The parents need to relax a little and stop being so uptight and judgemental. The stress levels are so far through the roof that propellers must have grown out of their heads.

Big Bag of Chips

It sounds like you regret moving your child to the crèche. I think you should remove her and look for alternative care as you will not be happy until you do.

Your child did not bump her head in the crèche. You say yourself the bump wasn't there when you collected her. Bumps come out immediately. Within 2-3 minutes you will have a bump if you're going to get one. The fact you noticed a bump 30 minutes after leaving crèche, that wasn't there when you collected her means the bump didn't happen in the crèche. They didn't fill in a report form because there was nothing to report.

Iguarantee

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122642576#Comment_122642576

I feel like you need to stop scouring the internet for confirmation bias and just go look after your kid in whatever type of childcare you choose to put them in.

I’d estimate that nobody here really gives a f*ck about your grievance here.

Go enjoy your life and get over this non-event!

Calahonda52

OP

We have started creche 1 months ago. We are almost 2 y.o in a room with 2+yo toddlers. On Thursday I picked up my daughter to go to doctor visit and after we came out from the docror (after 20-30 min) I've noticed bruice and bump on her forehead. It wasn't there on a pick up, because I would have noticed it.

So the bump appears after the visit to the doctor, after 30 minutes: is this from time of pickup or from time in doctors.

At 2 I hope child was in child seat and I know my self, from Kids, grand kids and great gran kids that its very easy to impala them on the head rest before slamming them into the child seat

Unreported Head pump in Creche

Re th thread title: you cannot be certain it happened in the creche so the allegation in unhelpful, at best.

witchgirl26

OP you can't expect the creche to follow a formal procedure if the bump didn't happen there. And considering you collected your daughter & went to the doctor & it was 30 mins after this (so a lot of time between creche & noticing), the likelihood is that the bump happened after creche. When my son was 2 he was always bumping things into him or falling over. It's how they learn. I mean I didn't love that he had bruises but as long as he wasn't doing something actually dangerous, falling is how children learn.

You won't get your deposit back from the creche for this - realistically you've no evidence that they were in any way negligent towards your child & they have the argument that you collected, there was nothing wrong at collection & the bruise appeared I'd guess at least an hour after leaving their facility.

SmallgirlBigcity

I can understand your worry OP and think a lot of the posters on here are being unfair. There's been a lot of reports of abuse and horrible treatment in creches in Ireland lately so I can understand why you'd be worried. Creches seem to operate differently - some issue the reports you're talking about and others don't. Some give a detailed report of what the child did that day, others don't. A friend of mine caught her child's creche out on lying about the child's activities on more than one occasion. It didn't bother her but it concerned me that a creche would lie. I understand that they're massively understaffed and not paid enough - completely get that. But I still think it's not crazy to worry about how your child is treated in a creche - especially with all the reports coming out about negligence. I don't mean to worry you OP. If you're not happy with the creche your child is in, I'd suggest moving them to another creche or consider different childcare if possible.

Madd002

If it happened in creche a bump would appear straight away, is it possible the doctors stethoscope hanging around his neck possibly wacked her while he was leaning over to check her over for whatever visit you brought her for? If all else fails copy below 🤣

Moonbeam

no, it would not bruises can take different lengths of time to appear.

volchitsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122716131#Comment_122716131

Yes, depending on how severe they are. A minor contusion may only become noticeable after a while when the swelling takes a while to build up (because it was a small bang) or even after the blood inside it starts to change colour.

A delay suggests that if it was as a result of something happening in creche, it was a fairly insignficant incident, so it wouldn't be that surprising if the staff hadn't noticed it. Or else it didn't happen there.

But the real problem here is that the OP isn't happy putting their child in the creche, or in that creche. Which is up to them of course. If they have an alternative solution they should take it, although it may be that she's just not happy having anybody else mind her child and that another place will turn out to be equally unsatisfactory in her mind.

In any case, expecting to get the deposit back is probably a bit much unless the contract says they can.

Yellow_Blue

Thanks everyone for comments and helping to understand childcare situation in Ireland, make decision to take the child from creche and working towards moving back northern Europe with more advanced childcare options.