Visitor to a pensioner making an accusation

baldbear

Guys ,to me this is such a weird story but thought I'd ask random people's opinion.

Recently a man called to a family members house making an accusation that she accused him of stealing sweets from a shop. Apparently this was said 8 years ago . And the incident in question happened 50 years ago.

He knocked at the house door at 9 am making these accusations and scared her with the way he was carrying on and threw money at her. She said she didn't feel scared but i'd doubt that is true.

She gave the money to a 3rd party to hand back to him but he called again & put money in the letter box . I told her to go to the guards to let them no but she said no.

Should I encourage her to go and let them know or just leave it? I can't report this incident on her behalf?

To me it is weird a man of 70 would call to an 80+ year old who lives on her own causing nonsense upset like this.

I was thinking of calling to the man's house myself but have decided not to as this could escalate things.

Ezeoul

Sounds like this man is in the early stages of dementia.

You might try to contact his family and let them know what is happening.

notAMember

The poor man, he's suffering memory loss or some illness. Assume this is a few pence for the sweets, we're not talking thousands I imagine. Simply thank him, take the money and let him go on his way feeling he solved a problem.

No need for the gardai unless the man is lost.

Ted222

If you can have a quiet word with someone in the man’s immediate family, that might be the way to go. Not so much for the woman’s sake but for the welfare of the man himself.

Donald Trump

Maybe she did accuse him of stealing said sweets 50+ years ago. And maybe he did steal them. And just wanted to clear his conscience.

I had a visitor do this to me for years, the guards did sfa until I got his details and passed them on to them. They said he was suffering Alzheimer's but he was driving 50 miles to my home.

At the time I was dealing with a separate family issues and they both were occuring at the same time. After have an argument with my elderly mother this man would show up on my doorstep threatening to have me murdered.

I ended up in hospital as a result of the stuff that was going on in my personal life and a couple of days later, after telling my mother to stay away from me and threatening to expose her abuse, he turned up at my door with the same threats again.

While the guards said he was suffering dementia, he would be around the same age as my mother and her BF. She used to laugh about him calling to my house to abuse me and there's nothing a garda could say that would make me change my opinion about who he is or what he was doing.

Do contact the guards, even if it is a case of dementia the guy needs to be detained in some form. I remember after showing the evidence to a worker from women's aid, her concern for him was sickening, her words were along the lines of "well at least he came to you and not someone who would take advantage of him".

Spent a lifetime being abused by men and their actions have always been excused by other women. Sick sh't.

https://youtu.be/E27RHHL7BLc?si=NYDOTG-W0o7o_uyq

People with dementia can be extremely dangerous.

Edit: just to clarify, my mother is the type of person who would orchestrate a break in to commit insurance fraud. Sometimes old people are just cnuts.

endofrainbow

Having cared for someone with dementia for over 10 years, it has all the hallmarks. Remembering things from long ago and the possible need to make amends over imaginary slights can play on their mind to the degree it becomes all consuming.

What I would do, is write a little receipt such as 'received with thanks' and give it to him. It might also be an idea to mention the incident to the man's family so that they are aware of his behaviour.

baldbear

Wow. Thanks for the responses. I never even thought of the possibility of dementia.

We have talked to a close family member of his and their response was he's a " mad b****".

My relative doesn't want to upset anyone ..but I will discuss the possibility that he may be a bit sick and see the response.

Hopefully we don't have him call again. See

Mrs OBumble

See the guards anyway.

It could be dementia- and dementia patients can sometimes be surprising strong and dangerous (losing social mores about not hurting other people is a symptom).

Or maybe be is a mad bas$tard and a barring order is needed. Sometimes it happens, even with older people

Purple Mountain

It could be mental health issues either.

If they know someone who is related to him, inform them ASAP.

10-10-20

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122589553#Comment_122589553

Agreed. And you don't have to go all out when you go to the guards, they often know the gist and will just need to take details of the concern. At least then it's on paper and you have a way to follow-up later if the issue remains.

Claw Hammer

keep the money. He will eventually run out of money and it will stop.

she might not want to incriminate herself by accepting money from some strange man, who knows what she might be accused of next. (I am making a joking)

Peregrinus

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122595861#Comment_122595861

You may be joking, but it's not completely a joking matter. If you're dealing with somebody who appears to be dementing and they're trying to give you money (or anything else) in a way that looks not entirely rational, absolutely do not accept it, or if you have to accept it contact their family immediately to try to return it. Taking money from the demented is a classic form of elder abuse and you do not want anyone to get the wrong end of the stick here.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122596331#Comment_122596331

I was thinking girlfriend experience never even thought of that but I agree, don't take the money.