Is there any teen/youth oriented groups that's suitable for a nearly 18 year old

cantthinkofausername1

*I live in Dublin btw

Hey I am a 17 year old male going to be turning 18 next week and I'm autistic and have ADHD (and possible developmental delays). I currently attend two youth groups, one is a youth club 5 min walk from my house and the other is an autism friendship group for teens and young adults. I'm just wondering if there is any other groups I can join that's suitable for a 17-18 year old to make friends, Ive just finished 5th year and will graduate and do my leaving cert at age 19 next year in 2025.

I would even like to find a girlfriend as well since I've never had a first kiss or relationship before and I'm very interested in having one, my local youth club near my house doesn't have that much girls near my age (theres loads of boys near my age I get along with but most girls attending my local youth club are mostly much younger), I would be interested in find a girlfriend near my age through youth groups

The age range of the group matters as well for me as I would prefer to be around people near my own age rather than younger teenagers (under 15 or 16) or young adults (21-25ish) so I have more in common and in a similar life stage (example I would join a group that aimed for 15-21 year olds but not one that's 12-18 or 18-24 when I'm 18 as I'll be around much younger or older people in completely different stages in life)

Im also NOT interested in pubs or nightclubs (even if I'm legally allowed at 18), especially given my autism and possibly developmentally behind. I would rather engage in teenage oriented activities rather than adult oriented activities especially if they involve alcohol (since I don't want to drink alcohol and don't want to be around drunks, especially ones much older than me). A disco or party I rather attend would be a teenage disco targeted for older teenagers (around 16-19 etc) that doesn't involve alcohol in it. Another reason why I rather engage in teenage oriented activities is because I missed out alot of my teenage/adolescent years due to social isolation and covid and my disabilities and have a need to have more time to experience them before transitioning to adulthood at a later age (like around age 21), I have very mixed feelings about turning 18 because of this

My local youth club has a maximum age of 24 which is beneficial for me given my disabilities. I did find another youth club I may be interested in for 15-18 year olds called the No Name Club (18 is the maximum age so I'll still be eligible to join at 18), they even do discos without alcohol involvement as this youth club aims to discourage the use of alcohol or drugs. So let me know if you have any other suggestions for youth groups that are suitable for a 17-18 year old in 5th year going 6th year in September

invoking_reality

Can't say I know any youth groups that would suit your needs but felt compelled to leave a response regardless.

I'm autistic myself (though diagnosed in my 20s) and so while I was less informed about how my own brain worked and why it was different to other people, I understand the struggle of that transition from teen to adult and feeling like you're missing out on experiences. There's no need to rush into situations you're not ready for, I didn't have my first kiss until my mid 20s for various reasons, but largest of all was that romantic situations were just very uncomfortable to me. I was lucky enough to meet someone that loved me for me (autism included) and had the patience to take things at my pace.

It's good practice to put yourself into situations that are uncomfortable, get out of your comfort zone, even just for exposure and experience, though you've got to be mindful of your own limits and make sure you don't burn yourself out in the process. That can take the form of taking breaks or time to yourself to recharge, limiting the time you spend in these uncomfortable situations, and even having a backup plan prepared just in case you become overwhelmed can help reduce the stress involved.

In regards to relationships, I would advise against actively seeking them out but to instead just be open to opportunities if/when they present themselves. Desperation is unattractive, but someone that is confident and comfortable with themselves is very attractive.

Oftentimes people say to "work on yourself", which is a fantastic thing to do, but I feel it often gets interpreted as "work on your physical appearance". I think if you want to find a serious and healthy relationship down the line, it's better to work on your inner self. Mental health, self reflection, emotional intelligence, compassion, tackling fears and shortcomings, and just being more thoughtful and deliberate with your actions and decisions.

Humans do tend to care at least a little about physical appearance, so you can't totally ignore it, but if you just practice good hygiene and look after your health you get most of the way there, and then wearing decent clothes will get you over the line. And don't be afraid to reach out if you need help, I'm hopeless with clothes and keenly aware of it, so I ask my much more fashion-conscious friend for advice when I'm buying clothes.

In regards to pubs and clubs, they're unfortunately hard to avoid in Ireland as a lot of socialising occurs there (especially outside of cities), but between the two, pubs are by far my preference. It of course depends on the pub, but they tend to be cozier, quieter, have dimmer lighting, and are easier to have conversations in. It's becoming far more acceptable these days to stay away from alcohol, and with all the non-alcoholic beer options out there you don't have to be the odd one out drinking a club orange. The non-alcoholic beers can be really enjoyable too, I'd recommend the Erdinger and Heineken non-alcoholic options.

Lastly, I've no idea if you're planning to go to university after the Leaving cert, but it's a great place to start fresh and meet some incredible people. It's not a youth club but it can be that transitional space between teenage and adult life, where you're surrounded by people entering adulthood alongside you, with a sprinkling of mature students that actually have their **** together.

Wish you all the best with 6th year and the Leaving cert.