Don't want my flatmate to move out

dontchse

Hi all.

I've been living with this flatmate for a while now. I really enjoy their company and living with them has been great. This week I've noticed their stuff moved out of the kitchen/bathroom, and other items are now in shopping bags. They haven't said anything yet, but I can totally see them being like "by the way, I'm moving out today" last minute.

I can't think of any other reason why they'd move their stuff and bag some of it up. I don't want to ask in case as they see it as me WANTING them to move. I'm just really going to miss them and also the fear of whoever moves into their room being a utter nightmare. Also our landlords communciation skills are not up to par so if my current flatmate moves, I can totally see me coming home one night to a random new person living in the house.

Just don't know how to deal with this

Kurooi

Does your landlord live in the property? Who signed a lease you or your flatmate?

dontchse

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122199024#Comment_122199024

Yes my landlord lives here too. My flatmate and I are licensees, not tenants.

YellowLead

You’re obviously not that close if the flatmate is moving out and not telling you.
The unknown is always scary - but if your landlord found a good tenant before hopefully they can do so again, it’s in their interest not to find a complete loon.

Why don’t you just ask the flat mate what the story with the bags is? Surely knowing for sure is better than wondering.

Kurooi

You can't make someone stay and you can't decide who your landlord moves in. Probably worth clarifying with either your flatmate or your landlord as to what is going on.

iffandonlyif

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122199297#Comment_122199297

It’s common to be as close to a flatmate as to a friend but be trapped in a ‘flatmate zone’.

It’s also possible to be close to someone who’s inconsiderate.

marilynrr

 I don't want to ask in case as they see it as me WANTING them to move.

Why would they think that? It sounds like you have a weird dynamic between you if you think they'd move out without telling you and you can't say 'I saw your stuff all bagged up….are you moving out?".

It would be obvious you didn't want to move out by your tone surely….or you could just say 'oh no, are you moving?'. I don't understand why you think it would be misinterpreted? Are you Neurodiverse?

Either way if they're moving they're moving and unfortunately you can't change that, but you might as well just so you know, maybe you're worrying about nothing and they're just getting rid of a load of stuff?

Claw Hammer

If you don't want your flat mate to move out, tell them you will pay their rent.