Ever Feel Avoided for Being Gay?

Frostynight

Hi all,

I recently signed up to a sports club as the sport took my interest. I'm really enjoying learning it and the personal challenge is what drives me. I've got so many benefits out of it and I'm so glad that I took it up. One thing is making me uncomfortable about staying longer term. I think possibly a couple of people are giving me a wide berth and in my view it might be that they think I'm gay.

I guess with this I was hoping to put my experience out there and see if you can relate.

For the record, I don't go around assuming that every time something isn't as I'd like it in the world, that's because I'm gay. I have no chip on my shoulder. I'm also determined to fit in. I'm not seeking social change or justice or to represent LGB people in the sport. I'm there for the sport, for me and getting along with people and socials is just a bonus.

What kind of things do I notice? A couple of people seem to be avoiding me. Others seem very uncomfortable with eye contact with me - but not with others. The vast majority of people don't do any of this and I get along with people. it's a predominantly hetero male sport. I know that you get along with some people and some people you don't. My instincts tell me it's about being gay.

I rarely, rarely ever think this. But, the last time I thought this was in a work environment years ago - and a couple of people did turn out to be blatantly homophobic. I don't assume that will always be the case, but I trust my instincts.

My guess is that perhaps those the lads have surrounded themselves with mirror images of themselves; people in their walk of life and who have exactly the same interests. I doubt they'd be comfortable with any kind of people who are different. Some 'village thinking' perhaps. I wonder if I glanced at anyone for a second or two longer while playing the sport, or is it a bit of the 'gay lisp'. I don't know!

In time, I'm thinking about if I should change club. Part of me thinks that if being gay is the issue, I might find that elsewhere. But, in part I also disagree with that. Anyone who's had a bad job, will know that you can't say 'all jobs will be like this, so don't move'. I'd say most of us moved on and were happier for it.

Can you relate?

Maz2016

Cant add much only be yourself. Give them time, they will see you are normal. I never get this straight/gay divide, what you do behind closed doors should be of absolute no relevance to them or anyone else. If they can't see that, you are better off keeping the distance and don't let them worry you.