Single Parent Claim

Ray Palmer

I was talking to a friend of mine and she referred to herself as a single parent. Now she had a husband and cheated on him but the child is his. The other bloke left her after she broke up with her husband and divorced. He pays child support and they share custody equally because he earns more than her and she went part time as soon as the child was born.

So I said she maybe single and a parent but she is co-parenting so not a single parent. She didn't agree and went on about how hard it was to be a single parent. As she is a friend I let it be but I think she is delusional and conflating the situation to be the same as a lone parent. The child is 13 and she still only works part time so I feel bad for her ex.

Grayson

I'd probably exclude finances from it. I'd consider a single parent to be someone who's raising a child alone. They are the primary caregiver 24/7.

Even if the other parent is around they might still count if the other parent just has the kid for an afternoon a week.

In my head there's a definition for a single parent and a definition for co-parenting. But there's definitely a grey area inbetween where some people are.

Boggles

If she really is a friend of yours should you be gossiping about her and calling her names on the internet?

The details you have given she will easily identify herself.

Ray Palmer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121832014#Comment_121832014

Oh well. I am not gossiping about her as these are facts and others can't identifier her

Kimbot

https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/single-parent

So by definition she is indeed a single parent.

Ray Palmer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121832055#Comment_121832055

There are other definitions than that but if you want to just that as your only reference good for you. I don't agree

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121832034#Comment_121832034

Good luck to anyone identifying her from the thousands of women who refer to themselves as single parents having gone through exactly the circumstances described in the opening post following the breakdown of their marriage.

OP what you may be referring to is a sole parent. The single part refers to her relationship status (not the status of her relationship to their child), and given she is also divorced, she is also an unmarried parent.

Lone parent is something else again, as is someone who is parenting alone.

You were better off leaving it tbh 😂

Iseedeadpixels

Single + Parent = Single Parent.

That concludes our course today.

zell12

 He pays child support and they share custody equally because he earns more than her and she went part time as soon as the child was born.

Not a single parent

Ray Palmer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121832142#Comment_121832142

To stick with that definition you have to ignore how a single parent and lone parent were interchangeable. They are not the single parent for the child but one of two. This is where common language and social science terms are confused

A lone parent without any financial support from the other parent is very different from a parent with income and input from the other parent. My friend is not in the situation of a lone parent but considers herself the same. Do you accept there is a difference?

She is a single parent, not a lone parent.

Is this going to turn into the usual ranting with rage posts? about a poster's neighbor, cousin, or acquaintance who has a child, only works 25 hours a week, got a house for nothing lives a life of luxury, etc while the poster themselves works like a slave having to work 39 hours a week and lives on gruel.

dxhound2005

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121832142#Comment_121832142

And of course if the mother and father are both living, that makes two single parents.

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121832233#Comment_121832233

That only relates to the qualifying criteria for the OPFP, it doesn’t say anything about the parents relationship status. It even regards unmarried parents and their children as a Family for the purposes of the payment, something which the Constitution currently does not, which is to be determined in about a weeks time, but given this was intended to be a light-hearted thread, that’s a little beyond its scope.

Ray Palmer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121832276#Comment_121832276

Don't see why. It is about somebody claiming they are in the same situation as a lone parent when they are not. You can argue the language of saying single parent refers to their relationship status but if they have a relationship with another person then they wouldn't be a single parent then. The problem is single parent used to mean a sole parent as the child only had one parent. The child in this case has two parents in their life not two single parents

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121832369#Comment_121832369

Don't see why.

Because there’s quite a few people who believe that their friends are delusional and they feel bad for their friends ex, and if there’s a bandwagon going they’ll jump on it 😂

The child in your example has two parents, one of whom is now a single mother. You don’t mention the fathers relationship status, but I wouldn’t feel bad for him, he doesn’t appear to have to endure nonsense from his friends if he were to be making a point about the difficulties of being a single parent!

nachouser

I'd take single parent to mean there's no second parent around. But as a single non-parent, what do I know.

Ray Palmer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121832473#Comment_121832473

I see, you don't want to hear differing opinions from your own and empathy for people shouldn't exist unless it is for a friend. Over the years I find certain friends go their own way and I don't agree with them or what they have done. We can remain friends but I am not don't have to agree with them or forgive everything they have done. If a friend was beating their spouse I would care more about the spouse than my friend you look at it differently it seems.

She wasn't a single mother when she divorced her husband according to you. Her ex is dating but he certainly isn't tell her about how serious it is. He does have two mortgages as a result of their marriage. She seems to think she will own the house she lives in which I warned her to check but she claims she is sure. From my understanding she will be lucky to get half the value as they only shared the mortgage for 2 years and he has being paying it on his own since. He works in finance so I am sure he knows what he is doing with his money. As I understand it he only has to provide housing for his daughter till she is 18 or finishes college. She certainly can't claim full ownership.

I do have a male friend refer to babysitting his daughter when he has shared custody and laughed straight in face and asked did he claim he is a single parent. We both laughed about it and he accepted it was BS. I am closer to him but the old friend I see maybe once or twice a year

Ray Palmer

I don't know why the mods moved this as it has nothing to do with claiming benefits

StormForce13

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121833239#Comment_121833239

Beat me to it!

I was wondering what, if any, question you - being the OP - was asking, as it appears to be more of a stream of consciousness/rant than a request for advice!

Iseedeadpixels

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121833239#Comment_121833239

I thought you posted it a 2nd time to wind up this forum 🤣

Ray Palmer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121833281#Comment_121833281

No where near a rant. It is about person claiming their rather nice quality of life is the same as a person who is struggling by using a phrase that has another meaning to most

Seve OB

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121833239#Comment_121833239

Because they can 🫣

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121833365#Comment_121833365

Should be in PI after your last response tbh, I imagine ‘twas moved from AH as it wasn’t seen as the light hearted thread I imagined it was. Better off in a forum where it might be taken seriously.

StormForce13

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121833365#Comment_121833365

I suppose that the key question here is as to whether or not she'd be worth inviting out for a spot of dinner in a mid-range restaurant?

Jafin

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121833239#Comment_121833239

I'd say because the title is "Single Parent Claim." Another poster in here already got confused and thought the thread was in relation to claiming the One Parent Family payment, so the mod might have thought the same. For the record I know you are referring to the woman's "claim" to be a single parent, but it's not immediately evident from the thread title alone.

holliehobbie

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121832134#Comment_121832134

She’s not single she’s divorced. There is a difference. At least on any forms I’ve ever filled in!