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Etiquette on when to give wedding gift (cash)

  • 15-02-2024 11:45am
    #1
    TheGlossy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 234 ✭✭


    Hi all,

    This is my first time attending and Irish wedding. I’m planning on giving cash as a gift.

    The issue is I had ordered a nice personalized enveloppe / sleeve to give the cash in and it won’t arrive until after the wedding at which point the couple will be on their honeymoon.

    I feel uncomfortable going to the wedding empty handed. What is the etiquette on when to give the gift?

    Thanks!



Comments

  • #2
    Apiarist
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,680 ✭✭✭Apiarist


    Frankly, if I were getting married, I would appreciate the cash significantly more than a fancy envelope. I understand that it is important to you, but you do understand that unless the envelope is coated with a 1mm thick gold foil, it is going to the bin?

    Just get a nice card from Easons and put your money in it.

    What is the etiquette on when to give the gift?

    Before the wedding, ask the mother of the bride or whoever is organizing the logistical part of the wedding. Sometimes you give it to the couple, sometimes the envelopes are collected at the event entrance.

    This is my first time attending and Irish wedding. 

    Congratulations! All Irish weddings I went to were great craic. Do not plan to go to bed early ;)



  • #3
    TheGlossy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 234 ✭✭TheGlossy


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121770463#Comment_121770463

    Thank you!

    I will do that. We are planning to meet at the bride’s house before the wedding, so I will find a way to give it to her then.

    Definitely looking forward to it!



  • #4
    artanevilla
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 10,969 Mod ✭✭✭✭artanevilla


    If the envelope is so important, you could just not give anything at the wedding, the couple will be so busy they won't notice.

    You could then wait till they are back and then contact them, "I was clearing out my handbag and I found your wedding card! I must have forgot to give it to you on the day!" Then arrange to drop it off or something.



  • #5
    POBox19
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 796 ✭✭✭POBox19


    For an Irish wedding a Brown Envelope stuffed with cash would be most appreciated.



  • #6
    Mrs OBumble
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 26,288 ✭✭✭✭Mrs OBumble


    https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121770637#Comment_121770637

    Ask the MOB or head bridesmaid: multiple envelopes of cash are a security PITA. Some people prefer to receive a deposit receipt.



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  • #7
    Princess Calla
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,145 ✭✭✭Princess Calla


    Do people not usually give it to the best man once you get to the venue. Then all the cards get locked in the hotel safe?



  • #8
    Pistachio19
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 505 ✭✭✭Pistachio19


    I'd actually wait for the envelope to arrive and wait until they are back from honeymoon to meet up and give it to them - no need to make excuses as to why you didn't give it on the day. In my opinion, it's safer than giving it to them on the day and having a few relatives holding cards of cash in their handbags, or relying on hotel staff to store it in a safe. We didn't get a card/gift from some people and I often wondered if they gave something and it got mislaid, or if they just didn't give anything. I would never have asked and they never mentioned not getting a thank you card, so I'll never know for sure.



  • #9
    phormium
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,395 ✭✭✭phormium


    Lot to be said for giving it after wedding, on the day best man/bridesmaid going around with envelopes is just asking for a mistake to happen! Yes I know they can be locked in the hotel safe or in bridal suite but not after each one, usually gather up a few before making the trip each time, much safer give it well before or after the wedding day.



  • #10
    TheGlossy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 234 ✭✭TheGlossy


    My original thought was to give it after the wedding. The couple is going on a honeymoon right after, so I won’t see them for a few weeks after the wedding. I simply didn’t want the bride (who is my friend) to get the impression I won’t give anything and be annoyed (although I’m traveling to attend this wedding).

    I’ve ordered another normal card & envelope as my plan B. I’ll bring it with me on the day. If there’s no proper coordination or logistics around this on the day, I’ll wait until my custom made arrives and give it after the wedding.



  • #11
    NSAman
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,454 ✭✭✭NSAman


    First Irish wedding huh?

    Forget the envelope.

    best time to give it to. The bride is to stuff it in the garter in front of eneryone when she hikes up her dress on the dance floor.

    its sure to start a good old fight…especially if it’s in fivers. Nothing like a good fight at a wedding….😀



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