The Crucifying Culture of Fitness when you can never hope to get fit!

Yes, I keep feeling sorry for myself, and I don’t apologise for my mental health status considering my disability. Some posters have taken a few sly pot shots at me, very few though, actually one I’ve in particular tbh.

I’m watching the telly, Operation Transformation, one of RTE’s showcases of the National “get fit” strategy, which is admirable in that it can prevent so much disease, especially cardiovascular, metabolic, diabetes. The main killers.

I used to loooove walking and keeping active and fit, I was never athletic as I had balance issues but I was very very far from lazy. MS struck me down very badly over past year or two, has my mental health status in the pits of despair.

I so so very much just want to be active. I go on exotic trips but need wheelchair assistance. My feet and legs are numb, my hands losing usefulness. But too often when I try to move on two feet with my stick one gives way straight off, the other into spasm.

Prof Niall Moyna often cones on OT and indeed other programs promoting fitness. I totally approve. But does anyone here feel depressed that there isn’t a hole of catching up on any real kind of the fitness culture because of an impairment, either diagnosed or sensed. When I say sensed I mean someone who may have MS or another neuro issue, but has yet to be diagnosed, maybe in account of GP dismissal, delay in seeing neuro, a neuro wait & see game etc.

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peter4918

Sorry to hear you have MS. This might be useful for you for some exercise ideas.

https://www.mssociety.org.uk/care-and-support/everyday-living/staying-active/simple-exercises-for-ms

taxAHcruel

Certain aspects of "Fitness Culture" would get me down too if I paid any attention to it. And I am probably on the more extreme end of keeping myself fit. A lot of it has to do with what you think "get fit" even means. Fit be whose standards? Towards what goals? Who do you look at and think "fit" and who do you look at and think "unfit"?

A lot of the standards and goals set and shown by the culture and television shows are probably either unattainable for the viewer or just so far down the road that all hope is lost before they even begin really. And that's people without any medical conditions like your own. At worst the only condition they might have is obesity and bad sleep/diet.

Where it started for me, and it is still the only goal today, is to work on a short time scale to be a better today than I was before. No goals of reaching a certain weight, strength, speed, flexibility or anything by a certain time frame. I just need a positive trend over time no matter how small. No goals or external standard to validate against that will leave me feeling disappointed in myself or inferior to others or beneath some culture's standards.

I suffer from crippling self hatred and depression. Except I don't. It's long been buried. I know it can come back in an instant. I have seen it happen. But I stay on top of it with my food and exercise and pursuits. I know it's still in there. I can feel it cursing me from it's cage in it's deep dark dungeon. I mean never to let it out for as long as I can. It'll get me some day I am sure. Maybe when I am 80 if I am lucky. It is a war I know I will eventually lose. But I intend to win every skirmish in that war I can first.

I can only imagine how a disability or diagnosis can set one back in such pursuits. So I feel for you. I can but imagine how an illness like that can leave you thinking of all the things you can't do anymore. Goals you can't attain. People displaying standards you will never match. It must be pretty awful.

But at the same time you know yourself there are likely lots of things you can do. So "get fit" to you can mean all those things your condition means you will never attain. OR it can mean "Here is all the things I am able to do - and things I can not quite do but almost can - so I am going to get better at all of those. Even a tiny bit". And get after it. "Getting fit" for some people who have had crippling car accidents for example can be their first step unaided before collapsing again. Just one step. Not a marathon. TV fitness shows will mean nothing at all to them except show them a world that is not theirs any more.

I was only recently watching Quadruple amputee Travis Mills on you tube training Jujitsu. Jujitsu. With essentially no arms or legs. I wonder how long he sat around with no arms and legs thinking of all the things he would now never be able to do before he started working out what he could do and getting after that. Like you he can not get by with his hands and feet. He has none. He works with what he does have to use though. I have seen people who for whatever reason have lost the use of feet and hands so they can not lift weights any more. So they use resistance bands which have velcro they can put around their wrists/arms.

I neither know your condition nor the stage it is at. So I am talking out of turn, or at least just talking generally and thinking out loud rather than to you specifically. But you do know your condition. As does everyone else their own. So maybe the approach for people in general is to catalog what one can do with the body rather than the things they can not?

You tube seems to have any number of videos for, and by, people with varying stages of MS who are getting after it. Perhaps they would be more worth watching than some "Transformation" TV show that is aimed at people with issues very different to your own? Legacy Media is tailored for the masses not the exceptions or the outliers. It's why I do not even own a TV any more.

And setting and meeting goals, even tiny ones, is a remarkable anti depressant I have noticed. Consistently meeting even the smallest goals is much better for mental health and self esteem than doing nothing at all.

Also random thing to throw out here but have you considered horse riding? I can not tell you how much I love it. I did not even guess at how much I was going to love it before someone had me try it. And two of the people I often ride alongside are entirely paralyzed from the waist down. I was also recently invited to join - and was totally beaten at - wheelchair basketball. Those men, women and children absolutely ran rings around me. I'm meant to be a highly fit marathon running multi gold medal winning martial artist. Yet these people made me relatively stationary and clumsy. It was joyous feeling to be so defeated.

Try coming from a family who runs ultra-marathons in their 50s or who hike 20k with no problem, siblings, children, nieces, and nephews it's hard not to feel you're not making enough of an effort sometimes.

taxAHcruel

Yea as I said above it is easy to compare yourself to others especially those close to us. It's almost always a mistake I find. Often a soul destroying mistake that destroys any attempt you might ever make. Comparison is thief of joy they sometimes say. Often the Thief of motivation, drive, self esteem and progress too I would say.

The only effort I have found worth making is towards seeing growth or gains or progress in myself. Rarely towards a goal. And almost entirely never towards someone else's goal or situation or standards.

It's also easy to assume that people way "ahead" of us in some way are looking down on us when we try. But unless they are way up their own hole this is likely a mistake too. As a black belt in some martial arts the people I respect most there for example - are the new comers who are over coming their hurdles to try and make progress - not the brown and black belts who are just phoning it in. I've a guy who just started Jujitsu in his mid 50s and has to put in maximum effort just for the most minimal progress. He is currently my favorite student because of this.

So you might find the ultra marathon runners would just love to see you out doing 5k runs and get talking to you about it. Talking technique and progress and style and equipment and the like.

I have a pretty mild respiratory infection atm, but this makes MS symptoms much worse, so has me particularly down this week, and getting out of bed is an achievement. Can’t get a GP appointment until Tuesday the way things are now regarding the run on them. I know if I get an antibiotic I will start to cope a good deal better.

i’ve always been a person who loves going places, and doing things. I learned to fly light aircraft when younger, had to give up over vision issue. Tried all sorts of things, power boating, rally driving, sailing. Have been a capable artist. There was lots going for me. Even on Stephen’s Day 2022 I did my first ever parachute jump. I love travel, have visited all 7 continents, including Antarctica!

I always had some neuro issues on and off, like dragging right foot, a left hand that very occasionally did its own thing, vision issues, but overshadowed by ulcerative colitis so didn’t come to attention of a neurologist until last last. Underwent a colectomy, have an ileostomy which I deal with pretty well.

In recent years my neuro issues kind of progressed somewhat, but about this time last year it all nosedived and I had a dreadful fall, ended up unable to move, in a pool of blood, on the floor of my apartment. Paralysed for hours, I thought I’d broken my neck, but next day I got myself to a private hospital ED as the media was banging on about avoiding the public ones. Was admitted for two weeks, but non-neuro consultant had a falling out with visiting neurologist so I ended up back to the GP. Eventually got public appointment with the good Prof Niall Tubridy who wondered how I had got so far advanced in my MS without coming under the care of a neurologist. A huge amount of brain damage already done, and a virus I have means, at least for the moment, treatment cannot be given. I have secondary progressive disease.

My cognitive functions as well as physical ones are letting me down increasingly badly. Everything I try to do, even open a door, is an effort. Typing this is too as my close vision is terrible, with the letters in front of me swirling all over the place in circles.

Yet I do achieve things, little goals, and my old school friends are always supportive. I still do achieve things! Went to Mexico for Christmas. Booked in August for two long haul trips, one to Borneo for myself and a friend, another to Costa Rica where they can cater to my needs. I get wheelchair assistance at airports, and do as much as I can but no more than I can when I get to these places. Don’t ask why I’m going on two long hauls in the one month, it’s a long story! 😁

I may be facing very major surgery before that, another long story, but I come through these things.

It’s moment to moment that things can be very frustrating, trying to do the simplest things. One minute I’m very lethargic and can hardly put two thoughts together, then I can’t sleep for my mind racing. MS is a crazy disease.

I remember there was a programme, was it RTE, 3 doctors in white coats would visit an obese family, giving out about their lifestyle and inability to move from kitchen to bedroom, then a week latter it appeared the family could run a full marathon. My legs were always a bit wobbly and I used to think WTF, how are these people able to become so fit so quickly in that they could run around tracks steadily enough, with decreasing breathlessness.

Well “white coated doctors” 😁 didn’t even try to do a proper assessment before Prof Tubs took over, so if any of them come around to my gaff with a fitness regime I’ll have words 🤣🤣

taxAHcruel

Amazing. You're absolutely my hero :)

Actually - getting some kind of pilots license - any kind at all even the simplest one - is right at the top of my to do list. I'm so jealous.

I'd love if life's serendipity had us cross paths sometime. I imagine I could talk to you for hours.

Mrs OBumble

But does anyone here feel depressed that there isn’t a hole of catching up on any real kind of the fitness culture because of an impairment, either diagnosed or sensed. 

I think I get where you're coming from, though my story is quite the opposite.

I've nothing diagnosed, but have always been ultra clumsy and slow to learn any physical skill. At school was the kid who was never picked for any team, and finished each and every running race ages after everyone else. Probably have some kind of minor neural tube issues (not worth exploring cos they cannot be fixed), and I have a sense I'm developing some rheumatological issues too (gonna have to face up to them soon I think).

As a kid I used to hate the whole not fitting in or being able to do stuff that other people found easy. Sometimes depressed / miserable about it, and about being overweight 'cos being active is hard.

As an adult I have zero interest in sport, and many people think I'm weird because of that.

But now I'm 50 something, I feel like I don't give a f*ck, because I have none left to give. And ironically as many people my age are slowing down, I'm still moving at the same pace as ever. So instead of being miles behind most people my age, I'm similar to more. But still no-where near OT fit or running a marathon, and no hope of ever being there.