Where to hide your ill gotten gains?

Oscar_Madison

Poor Michael Lynn- not only is he banged up in jail, he appears to have a memory problem as the Gardai are now tasked with hunting for any dosh he might have stored away for a rainy day🤪 - so let’s help our beloved guardians of peace find Michaels money for him.

If you had a pile of dosh that you eh, wanted to keep for yourself without others being aware of it, where would you hide it?

Before the financial crime police arrive here please Note, this is an AH thread for fun.

https://m.sundayworld.com/crime/irish-crime/michael-lynns-hidden-money-garda-raids-in-hunt-for-disgraced-ex-solicitors-secret-cash/a1037932918.html

If there was a way to buy a small patch of waste land without it being easily traced back to me, I’d probably bury it there. Or else Dublin mountains buried in a waterproof case behind a rock .

Del2005

Hiding money is easy, spending it is the hard bit.

Oscar_Madison

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121600265#Comment_121600265

Very true alright - even a Canada Goose jacket will need explaining 😀

manonboard

You want to be splitting it up in 3 pieces. Regardless of what happens. You will definitely get some of it.

First thing would be to protect all packages from elements. Don't store it on the property you own, or a spouse. You could get away with a brother etc if there is no direct link to him in terms the business.

People intuitively search downwards so hiding things vertically high is a wonderful starting position for one package. You can easily climb a mountain or a tree and hide it there. The energy required to search a place like that is enormous. We tend to gravitate away from it due to energy expenditure. People will look longer if comfortable, so put it somewhere very uncomfortable to go. Something stinky, rocky, high up.

Another good spot is inside drywalls. You can remove a radiator, crack open the dry wall, hide inside (stick it with glue upwards of the hole). Fix wall and attach radiator again. Any possible discoloration or texture change of the wall will be hidden by the radiator.

If you have access to a sewerage pipe outside, its pretty easy to install a grate in one, and keep the package inside there. You can send the package into the line from a few meters away from the grate location. That way, any work details are well away from the package. You'd obviously NOT want to be using that sewerage line regularly. So you might have to tell whoever is on the property about it. Though it could be an unused ensuite.

A lot of houses have plastic containers for hot water up stairs in the attic. VERY easy to put a false floor in one of those containers with the package underneath. Its very hard to see a false floor in a tub of water, especially since any vibration cause water movement. You could easily put a small pump in just to constantly 'recirculate' the water. They'd have no chance to see it with the bubbles etc. If they put their hand in, you'd just feel the end of the a container. Refraction would stop them from considering otherwise.

Far away from your home is the place you want to store at least one. In this place, you want to be getting there and back using public transport (train and bus) for the initial leg of the journey. Then going for a long hike. If you have a fold up bike, you'd make crazy distances with almost no paper trail.

scheister

If I recall one of the major criminals used to launder his money via gambling. He had the thinking that we would keep 85-90% of what he staked. He would place with bets with Cash and collect the winning with cheques. If anyone queried the money he has the cheques to show it came from the bookies.

But if trying to hide money rather then the source i would look at items that hold value but don't reflect the value. certain coins, trading cards or stamps can be worth a lot and easy to sell if you know where to go. The average person looking at these is unlikely to realise what they are holding so will move on.

The Continental Op

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121600284#Comment_121600284

I think you may have given this far too much thought?

........ as have I.

A cut down section of 4 inch wavin sewer pipe with a end stop at either end provides waterproof storage you could burry. Then you can make a treasure map :-)

The Continental Op

Was it a "Gibbs" NCIS where a plot about hidden money revolved around everyone walking on it? The persian carpet supposedly having some huge value.

Oscar_Madison

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121600284#Comment_121600284

Love the use of public transport and a follow on hike- just leave your mobile at home 😀

Saying that in the future, buses are likely to have AI installed so zap- you’re spotted - at least to the town closest to your subsequent hike

ELM327

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121600284#Comment_121600284

This is simply phenomenal.

Oscar_Madison

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121600323#Comment_121600323

Yeah but where to bury it? You can’t use your own properties - they’ll get nabbed by CAB anyway and will be ripped apart along with doggies running around trained to sniff out paper money .

Its actually not that easy at all to hide money -cash- in large amounts (like a couple of million) - and to allow for some sites discovered you’d need to have like 10-15 separate sites

Boardnashea

Are we trying to hide the actual cash? Remember the €10 note was updated recently (as has all the notes over time) and if a large number of old €10s started circulating in a few years time there may be questions asked.

Otherwise it is going to be increasingly difficult to own/sell items of high value without drawing attention to yourself.

The Continental Op

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121600384#Comment_121600384

But no one is going to hide stacks of €10 notes are they? Fifties seem to be the ideal 5k would be a stack around 1cm thick. With tens that would be 5cm.

One hundreds are always suspect in that they draw attention when used. Some places won't even accept them.

Montage of Feck

There's a big hayfield up near Buxton...One in particular. It's got a long rock wall, a big oak tree at the north end. It's like something out of a Robert Frost poem. It's where I asked my wife to marry me. We went there for a picnic and made love under that oak and I asked and she said yes. In the base of that wall, Buried under a rock that has no earthly business in a Maine hayfield. A piece of black, volcanic glass.

The Continental Op

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121600365#Comment_121600365

Think you are right there. My maths is that a 30cm length of 100mm wavin pipe would hold around 100k in 50's.

p15574

Most of it will be electronic - Bitcoin, Swiss or Bahamian private bank accounts. The problem would be remembering or noting the account numbers and passcodes. Aswell as that, while you're inside, your partner and children (if you had any) would need money and may not want to work, so you could closely monitor where their income is coming from, if they're wearing designer gear, if they pay in cash etc.

Flaneur OBrien

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121600532#Comment_121600532

Reminds me of this mad story:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/feb/21/irish-drug-dealer-clifton-collins-l46m-bitcoin-codes-hid-fishing-rod-case

Oscar_Madison

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121600469#Comment_121600469

Yeah- Shawshank was great but he only hid a small bit of money in that box - his big money was stashed in bogus accounts in a fake name in which he managed to access after his escape using a false ID - not something easily done these days - and besides he still escaped the country so all and all a bit disruptive - you’d want to live quietly taking just say 3-6 months money at a time to keep you going

mod

sorry lads I have to close this for a few just to check with admins if it’s okay to be discussed as it’s technically still before the courts until next Mondays sentencing hearing.