Ctyi confused

DaireMacC

Hi,

Looking for advice regarding CTYI courses. My son (8) has attended two, loved one, and loathed the other. He spent all of the second one watching videos. I know that they’re not friendship groups, but I was really hoping that he might meet a new or two buddy along the same lines as himself as he finds school tough enough going, he’s quite opinionated, to his detriment sometimes.

I’d really rather not pay for another one like the second, and would be grateful if anyone could recommend any hands on courses that their children attended.

Thanks in advance

Big Bag of Chips

My son is now 18 and attended a few around the age of 8 and 9. I stopped sending him because I found they were quite expensive, they weren't particularly close to us, and he didn't seem to be getting any great benefit from them anyway. He enjoyed a few. Enjoyed the novelty of what he was learning for a while. He was (is?) interested in maths and science courses. But the novelty seemed to run out for him and he wasn't too bothered about going. We used to look through the courses trying to find something to send him to because we felt we should be sending him.

They are supposed to be classes for like minded, exceptional kids. My fella never really made friends at them. Maybe he was too young and too awkward. Maybe if he had attended a few as a teenager he'd have been more inclined to make friends and hang around with people after the course but as an 8/9 year old he was dropped to the door before the classes and collected immediately afterwards so not much time to develop friendships outside of the courses.

I honestly found the library and finding local groups that he was interested in much better for both his interests and for making friends. He loved learning. So books from the library were brilliant for him. He joined a youth drama group when he was about 10 and has been involved ever since.

I think the CTYI courses were good. He enjoyed the ones he did but once he had done the few that interested him I found the others weren't worth the money or effort of getting him there just for the sake of sending him to one.

DaireMacC

Thanks a million for your very insightful reply. You’ve hit the nail on the head about the courses, they are expensive, yet I do feel, like you, that I should send him as he definitely needs a challenge.

He has made two good friends in scouts, but not school, and I was trying to widen his social circle through CTYI, naively, I suppose. I thought they might get the opportunity to collaborate, at the very least, over group activities, and that’s what I was hoping to hear from someone, that we just haven’t found the right course yet, but that’s not what you’re saying, and what I’m starting to think that too.

I might try the courses again when he’s older as they seem to have an option of residential courses for teenagers.

Thanks again for your reply, I really appreciate the feedback.

Big Bag of Chips

The one thing I will say is at the same age I would have been very worried about my lad, about giving him the challenge as you say. He has struggled through school since senior infants. Schools don't really cater for very bright kids. The focus for resource hours is always on weaker children.

School, and life, has been a struggle for my lad. He is now in 6th year and recently got 100% in his higher level Christmas maths exam (without doing any study or revision!) Physics, applied maths, computer science all above 88%.

It hasn't been easy and he's still just tolerating school. We thought primary would be a struggle but he'd find his group in secondary and settle. That the different subjects would provide the challenge he needed. That didn't really happen. He has a group of friends but still hates school. Maybe college will be where he comes into his own!

All I'll say is don't get too caught up in trying to push him a certain direction. Like you I would have done everything and anything for my fella trying to find something that suited his ability, but he was actually ok just doing his own thing. Researching his own interests. I used to love just talking to him (as a teenager the chats definitely dropped off!). He was so interesting. He taught me so much!

He's not particularly social but that's ok. He has a small group of friends who are all good lads and doesn't seem to need more than that. He loves the drama group he's involved in and that gives him loads of opportunities to mix, go on days out, bus trips etc. With my fella I never really worried about the academic side. I know he'll be ok. Although at one point he was failing subjects in school due to sheer lack of interest. My worry was always his social development. But then again it was my worry! He has always been happy enough. Occasionally he has gotten upset over being a bit isolated and not having the same social skills as his siblings, but he's managed it and is happy enough now. As happy as any young adult can be I suppose.

DaireMacC

Big bag of Chips, thanks so much for your message, and I’m sorry for only seeing and responding to it now. You’re absolutely right, and it’s very reassuring to hear that your son is happy with his core group.

Lots of what you said about your son I see mirrored in my own little fella, and I need to stop projecting my concerns about not facilitating his talents (for want of a better word). Socially, Primary school is going to be difficult for him, and I’m truly glad to hear that your son has found his tribe, which is what I keep reiterating to my son, he just needs to get through the next few years, and focus on his buddies from scouts.

I enrolled him in Drama, after reading your first reply, and he adores it, so thanks a million for that recommendation.