Concern

plane2556

So.. where do I start?

My boyfriend has been invited to a stag and a hen soon, delighted for him! But here’s the thing..

myself and him have had a rocky road not too long ago, he was sexting his work colleague , I found a whole lot of other stuff on his phone too more than once.. we have since resolved and agreed to try to move on. He hasn’t sent anything else since (from what I can see and from what he’s been telling me). He tells me he loves me, we are moving in together very soon too, he tells me I’m what he wants and only me and that he’s learned his lesson etc etc…

now , here’s this:

• one of the guys going on the hen was messaging my bf when me and him started going out , there were nudes sent etc.. I caught him in the act along with other messages to other men.. we have since resolved that and I have given him another chance.. (this was two years ago) , but I am still concerned since that guy will be at the hen.. yes , I do trust my bf now.. but I’m still paranoid and overthinking about the whole situation.

• on the stag, well - there isn’t one but TWO guys that he has a past with also going on that stag. My mind is going crazy and I am very upset about the whole situation.

should I talk about it with him? I have a feeling that he will go mad at me for challenging him on this.. or expressing my concerns about who’s going to be at the stag and what might happen.. especially with drink involved.. he will probably just ask me why I don’t trust him and if I don’t want him to go on the stag etc.. is it bad that I’m overthinking this too much? What should I do?

good to have others input on this whole situation..

thanks guys..

Annasopra

I think let it go re the the past and move on with your future with him.

You can't let the past keep eating away at you.

Facthunt

I’m with Annaspora on this too! Might be time to move on! I feel your pain but don’t stay in a trapped unloved relationship!

Facthunt

May unappreciated relationship rather than unloved!!!

Annasopra

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121356956#Comment_121356956

No

I didn't suggest leaving

Facthunt

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121357271#Comment_121357271

Ok! My mistake!

Jafin

Were there two instances of him being caught? You mentioned you caught him sexting a work colleague "not too long ago" and then mention that one of the guys going on the hen is someone you caught him sending nudes to two years ago. Are these two separate people or the same person?

Personally if I caught my boyfriend doing this once, all trust would be gone and I would never be able to trust him again, so I would get out of that relationship. I know that some couples can repair their relationships and move on though. If this is two separate instances then...chances are it could happen again in the future.

Think about your physical health in this too. Do you and your boyfriend have unprotected sex? What if he does end up sleeping with one of these men at the hen and potentially catches an STI? That could put your own sexual health at risk. Trust is paramount in a relationship, and it sounds like you don't fully trust him, which I don't blame you for.

plane2556

Thank you all for the advice and inputs.. I have decided to try and trust him. Not an easy decision but here goes..

Facthunt

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121426666#Comment_121426666

Keep strong!💪