The Horny Farmer

MonkieSocks

A farmer stopped by a hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint.

Then he stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose.

However, struggling outside the store, he wondered how to carry all his purchases home.

While he was scratching his head, he was approached by a woman who told him she was lost.

She showed him a piece of paper and asked, 'Can you tell me how to get to this address please?'

The farmer said, 'Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to that house.

I would walk you there, but I can't carry this lot.'

The woman suggested,

'Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm, and carry the goose in your other hand?'

'Thank you very much,' he said and off they went.

On the way, he said, 'Let's take a short cut and go down this alley.

We'll be there in no time.'

The woman looked him over and said,

'I’m a lonely widow without a husband to protect me.

How do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt, and have your way with me?'

The farmer said, 'Holy smokes, lady!

I'm carrying a bucket, a gallon of paint, two chickens, and a goose.

How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?'

The woman replied, 'Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens.’