Frustrated with family courts system

Engine No.9

This is going to be a bit of a rant. But I am looking for perspectives from folks who may have been in the same boat and see what my options are.

So, in January, I called Tusla to voice my concerns around the conditions my kids are living in with their mum (14 & 15). Essentially, it evolved into a full custody application before the courts as I was denied access to the kids. Section 20 report ordered in March. It was carried out between July and August of this year and I just had the report read to me by my solicitor 2 weeks ago.

Recommendation is that the kids come to live with me full time based on a number of factors.

In court last week, her solicitor asks for extra time because the report is actually so extensive and damning on her side. All my solicitor said is that we need to call the author of the report to the court to verify their findings. This was after telling me that they would fight to get it heard as quickly as possible owing to the urgency of the findings in the report. It's been adjourned now again until the 4th November at which point the solicitor will deliver the author's availability to the court and it'll likely be adjourned again until a hearing date is set.

All the while, I haven't seen my kids in almost a year. And the findings in the Section 20 report against their environment are so extreme that the recommendation was to remove them from the home, which would have happened had they been younger according to the authorities (Tusla etc...).

I'm just so confused and frustrated. The S20 report makes definite recommendations which speak to the children's safety, yet that seems to be coming second to court procedures. In the meantime, I'm freaking out coz there's still a chance that the court will ignore the recommendations and I'll have lost my kids forever (I've already lost the 3 over 18s owing to this action).

My solicitor says they've never seen this judge go against the recommendations in a S20 report which does give me hope. But I'm just so anxious about all of this lately, it's completely consuming me.

I'm not looking for legal advice at all, as I do have a solicitor and can get these answers from them. However, my anxiety is consuming me lately (and I never usually am anxious at all). I am looking for other's experiences if they have had similar scenarios in their own battles. I'd be obliged if anybody could answer me on what typically happens in the following scenarios:

• What happens if the judge goes with the reports recommendations?
  • Do I get them immediately?
• What happens if she appeals?
  • Does she get to keep them pending the outcome of the appeal?
• What if the court goes against the recommendation of the report?
  • Obviously, I appeal, but am I then liable for the costs of the appeal?
• What happens if she refuses to give them to me if I win custody?
  • Tusla have told me that the Gardai won't remove them or force her to hand them over unless they're in danger of physical harm.

I'm just so burned out from all of this. The kids are being fed lies and gobbling them up. And they're now believing a different picture than what was painted for them throughout their lives. I'm in my early 40s and If I'm not crying every day, I'm in a deep mire of emotions.