Gift Spending Limit

MatildasMammy

Hi All,

This Christmas me and three other friends (We are all single women with no kids bar me who has a grown up daughter in Australia) are spending Christmas together. It will make a nice change as I normally spend it with different friends or siblings since my child emigrated. We have a few things planned like a Christmas Market and a few drinks on Christmas Eve. Me and two others are heading to the fourth friends house for Christmas Day. She will be cooking and is insisting she wants to cook everything and supply the drinks which is very generous of her, She is quite a wealthy woman and isn't feeling the pinch as much as the rest of us but still I very much appreciate it.

One of the ladies started saying a few weeks ago that we should have a €10 limit for presents to each other. So that would be €30 she would be spending altogether. We assured her to spend as little or as much as she wanted or not at all given the climate and everything. I think it's the thought that counts anyways. But this Morning we were sent a voicenote into our group chat which said Hi Ladies, Just to let you know I have made the executive decision to put a blanket ban on presents. We should just enjoy the day have a few drinks etc. She has said please don't anyone buy me anything as I won't be buying anyone else anything.

At first I kind of thought well fair enough don't get us anything but I would like to get her something, More importantly I would like to get the host a lovely present for being so generous and opening her home and feeding us at Christmas. I will probably sound terrible now but I did also think there was an element of cheapness/tightness. There is weeks to go and surely her original idea of spending a tenner on each person would be achievable. Even a box of chocolates or a €5 coffee voucher or something home made.

I am failing to understand why it's a total ban altogether. I am also a bit annoyed at the message because it is implying the rest of us shouldn't buy for each other (I already have gifts in mind, Nothing that will break the bank but nice things I know they will like) Now I am in no means rich but I have been putting aside a little here and there (My daughter is in Australia so the cost of sending her presents isn't cheap) but it's just kind of put a bit of a dampener on something I was looking forward to. I should also probably point out that this particular lady is not my close friend wheras the other two are, She is a mutual friend of them two, Maybe that is why I am feeling peeved.

Am I being a horrible old witch? What would others do in this situation.

Jim_Hodge

Ask the mother two what they think about it.

Allinall

You can’t realistically arrive to a house for Christmas with two hands swinging.

Club together with the other two and get something for your host between you.

If you want to get each other presents, take it offline so to speak, and exchange them away from your host.

Kurooi

Bit of a party pooper but at the same time some people are REALLY struggling. You can be peeved but respect it all the same.

I think it's still fair game to give the host something, normal social etiquette still applies you're visiting someone you can give them a gift.

Princess Calla

People might be struggling but you don't arrive to a full set meal with your arms swinging.

I wouldn't be too impressed at someone making an "executive decision" on my behalf either.

Personally I'd suit myself. I'd definitely get the host a present. Then talk to the others and discretely exchange presents if that's what you want.

MatildasMammy

Yeah absolutely, I am going to get them all what I had in mind for them and expect nothing in return, I don't give to receive anyways but I am cringing a bit at what your one is saying.

Jamessmith0901

While you should respect your friend's decision to put a blanket ban on Christmas presents, it's okay to feel disappointed and want to express your gratitude towards the host. Consider having a respectful conversation with your friend or giving a small token of appreciation privately. Most importantly, enjoy the time with your friends and cherish the memories.