Groundhog day

losafa7026

Genuine inquiry here: An individual and I have remained in contact post-breakup, with the breakup initiated by them. I've explicitly expressed my ongoing physical attraction towards them and mentioned that I'd be open to rekindling a physical connection if the opportunity arose. However, aside from that aspect, we've stayed in touch for various other reasons, primarily due to our deep connection in the past. Admittedly, my side of the equation has always included a desire to rekindle physical intimacy, but it has also been about reconnecting and conversing with someone who was once very close.

Over time, it has become evident that they would prefer to engage in physical intimacy with almost anyone else in the world except me. Furthermore, the quality of our conversations has steadily deteriorated. Our interactions have shifted from meaningful conversations to a platform for complaints, unfavorable humor, and the expression of repressed frustration stemming from life not unfolding as originally planned. It seems like I've transitioned from being a conversational partner to a designated target for venting.

I find myself increasingly exhausted by this situation. If there was at least a physical component involved, I might tolerate the negativity. However, in this context, I feel like I've become a receptacle for their grievances. Call it superficial, but would you continue to associate with someone from whom you derive no positive benefits?

In any case, how can I extricate myself from this predicament?

gameoverdude

Block all contact and try your best not to reengage even if you really want for contact.

Forget the physical. You'll drive yourself mad with hope.

Jim_Hodge

Just ween off the contact.

YellowLead

I’d say just leave it. They clearly have no interest in getting ‘intimate’ with you and that won’t change. It seems like they no longer want to have the deep chats either, eh why bother???

TheadoreT

The best time to have cut contact with him was after he dumped you. The next best time is now.

And it's probably a blessing he's not remaining physical with you as it would be even harder for you to emotionally move on while casually sleeping with an ex you're clearly still in love with.

Ann84

Your not obliged to keep contain with anyone… your choice to go completely radio silent… or drop the hint by lengthening your response time and shortening your responses.

I personally am not a big fan of the radio silence because it can appear intentionally hurtful but that’s just my personal view… it’s really up to you. You don’t owe them anything and need to focus on what’s best for you and your life/ mental health.

Dial Hard

You don't owe them anything and it sounds like you're actively harming your wellbeing by staying in contact with a person who clearly has less than zero interest in you.

Send them a text explaining that you're cutting contact if you feel the need to, then block, delete and move on with your life.

Tork

Would your ex even miss you if you stopped replying to their messages? My reading of this is that after the breakup, you harboured hopes of a reconciliation. You've dressed this up with some flowery language but you still sound like an ex who wasn't quite ready to let go. By the time your ex told you that it was over, he/she had already moved on in their mind. You sound like you're getting there now.

Whatever relationship you have with your ex now has soured over time. Part of me wonders is it by design rather than a natural evolution? It doesn't really matter because it looks like it is time for you both to part ways. There's no need to do this as a dramatic gesture, though perhaps you still think you can shock them into seeing you differently. There are a few ways you can extricate yourself from this situation. The first is to simply block them on your phone, on social media, on email and anywhere else they might be able to contact you. The alternative, which is harder, is to stop replying to them. That leaves the temptation of replying and that'll put you back where you were at the beginning. Alternatively, you could just message them and say you don't think ye should stay in contact. It's up to you.

Akrasia

If he's basically become a pain in the arse who uses you to complain and dump negativity, either self pity, or complaining about others or spread a negative political outlook on life then just tell him that you don't enjoy his company anymore, his negativity is not fun to be around and that you don't want to see him anymore.

He'll then find someone else to moan to, and you'll probably be on that list, but at least you won't have to listen to constant negativity and whinging which just sucks the life out of any conversation and can actually harm your own mental health.

marilynrr

You don't say if you're male or female but I'm getting "nice guy syndrome" vibes from your post.

I think just take the way the friendship deteriorated as a blessing so that you can end the friendship and so that you stop thinking you will be with this person physically again.

Personally I'd just say I found the friendship draining and so I wanted to cut contact and just wish them well.