What’s wrong with me

Marymoore

I went on a date last weekend and the guy was nothing but lovely (really what I need after my dating history with arseholes) we kissed and stayed texting but the problem is he kept messaging me and messaging me (basically coming on too strong) and I’m turned off already. I met him again tonight and don’t feel the same level of attraction anymore. I feel like I know him already when I shouldn’t… I just love the mystery, why do I need drama or mystery. Why can’t I settle for plain nice?

Big Bag of Chips

You're not going to be attracted to everyone you meet. He seems to have come on too strong. That can be off putting, especially when you don't know each other that well. Constant texting would annoy me too. I don't even text my friends that frequently.

It's a numbers game. This one didn't work out. Time to move on.

YellowLead

Coming on to strongly is a red flag - so there’s nothing wrong with you, you are just being wise in this scenario. He’s either desperate or just wants to get you into bed, neither of which appeal if you are looking for a relationship

TheadoreT

Attraction is built in the "will they, won't they", "are they into me", mystery element in early dating. When it's all layed out on the plate for you there's no challenge. Your feelings are perfectly normal, he has zero game, and acting a bit feminine, you won't feel safe or comfortable around that.

Problem is that's most modern guys, and the few that know what they're doing have a lot of choice so won't settle as easy and could easily be framed as 'arseholes' due to that.

Nothing wrong with not being attracted to someone, more so to someone coming on too strong. There has to be the little subtlety gameplay to some extent to start things off, I get very put off by that kind of thing myself. It’s kind of built into our female DNA where we look at potential suitors who may be attracted to us, and the one who plays the game right gets us. In theory we are the ones going to carry the progeny of the relationship (even if we are way past that or it’s not in our plan) so our primitive brain looks for a bit of choice, a bit of to and fro where we ascertain the potential mate’s credentials. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Either get him to cool down a bit, if that doesn’t seem viable, move to the next choice.

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121119366#Comment_121119366

...only that some truly are arseholes, highly disrespectful and ignorant....