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Vegas or bust

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  • 09-07-2023 10:06am
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 5


    Hi all

    Bought 2 tickets to U2 in Vegas this October as a birthday present for my wife.

    I had perhaps naively figured our 1 year old would be looked after by family (whom he's very comfortable with) for the 5 nights we'd be away and that'd be that sorted.

    Here's the rub- although my wife is hugely excited by the prospect of the trip, she feels she can't possibly leave him for that period of time.

    I've made the point that it's good for him, good for us and good for his grandparents and aunt who would love looking after him.

    My wife is suggesting we bring him along and turn it into a 10 day holiday. I personally feel we'd spend days trying to get his body clock in synch, it's a long enough flight and our sole babysitting option is a first cousin of mine who's unfamiliar to our son and lives over 3 hrs from the concert venue. That's really not ideal.

    At an impasse and would appreciate any views hereabouts. Tickets can of course be sold but would far prefer we make the trek over.



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Comments

  • Administrators Posts: 13,833 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips


    Speak to her. Ask her why she feels she can't possibly leave him with family for that length of time. What does she think will happen?

    It can be very difficult as a first time mother to let go a bit. You feel you are the only one who can properly look after them. Or they'd miss you/you'd miss them too much. There's also an element of not wanting to impose and asking family to take him for so long. Have family agreed to it?

    I wouldn't be bringing a 1 year old to Vegas! And if the only babysitting option on the night of the concert is a cousin your child has never met, who lives 3 hours away - then you're not going to that concert! And you're not going to Vegas.

    Talk to your wife. Reassure her of any of her worries. Maybe get the family onside who will be looking after him to reassure her too. He's 1. He'll be distracted and pottering around. Once he's fed, warm and entertained he'll be happy out. Once he's with someone you both trust then you know he'll be looked after and they'll handle anything he needs.

    He will have zero memory of being left with his grandparents for 5 days. As soon as you're home, he'll be excited to see you, but not one but phased by you being gone!



  • Registered Users Posts: 968 ✭✭✭Str8outtaWuhan


    She needs to cut the cord , OP. If she won't, tell her you will see her in 5 days.



  • Registered Users Posts: 6,717 ✭✭✭SuperBowserWorld


    Unless the baby is breastfeeding or has complex needs. Just go, and leave the baby with the family. It will be good for your relationship. Life is too short to miss a great and perfectly safe opportunity like this. The way house prices and rents are going, you will have 40 more years with the baby. 😁



  • Registered Users Posts: 130 ✭✭Nickla


    she doesn't "need to cut the cord" if she doesnt want to - vegas is a long way and 5 days is a long time for a one year old to endure if they are not happy. It may be good for your relationship or it may be a total disaster of a holiday if shes not comfortable with it. I personally would be looking at the opton of bringing the baby if you really wanted to go - for me it would be easier to leave the baby for a few hours with someone nearby rather than 5 days with someone on another continent but thats me.



  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,988 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    Could you leave the baby for one night, then 2 nights etc with the grandparents before October and get both him and your wife used to the idea on a phased basis?

    I'm being honest, I wouldn't have left my first child for five nights to go to Vegas. Weird I know, but I was only learning! It wouldn't only be the length of time but the distance. Looking back I probably should have been a bit braver and taken advantage of all the help we were offered.

    It does sound like an amazing trip and a lovely surprise present. As I say maybe a few sleep overs with the grandparents (as long as they're willing and able) would get your wife used to the idea between now and Oct?



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  • Registered Users Posts: 5 Commonality Raging


    Some really considered responses there, thanks folks.

    The only problem with trial running sleepovers between now and October is that we've pretty much reached crunch time, in terms of booking flights and hotels.

    Our nearest and dearest are totally onboard in terms of looking after the baby but I totally understand that for my OH, all the logical arguments in favour are for nought if it just doesn't feel right in the pit of her stomach.

    Someone above rightly made the point that Vegas is no place for a baby, though our plan would be to perhaps only get there for a night (been there / done that etc)



  • Registered Users Posts: 5,091 ✭✭✭stargazer 68


    OP you wife doesn't want to leave the baby and that's up to her - baby would be perfectly fine left with family IMO but anyway

    Taking a baby that distance for a concert and then making a holiday out of it just for the sake of it is madness. It will be miserable for all involved with the planning, time difference etc. Baby will be only settling into the new routine and then you have to turn around and cone back.

    If she definitely won't leave the baby get rid of the tickets and take a week in Spain instead



  • Registered Users Posts: 2,716 ✭✭✭zoobizoo


    How will it be good for him?



  • Registered Users Posts: 508 ✭✭✭Kurooi


    Taking a 1 year old on a 10 day trip to Vegas sounds like a nightmare for everybody involved, especially the toddler.



  • Registered Users Posts: 5,185 ✭✭✭Widdensushi


    The flights alone are reason why the child shouldn't be lugged to Vegas because his mother gets separation anxiety, like said above, go without or cancel the trip and go on a more suitable family holiday.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 3,977 ✭✭✭spaceHopper


    Get her family to talk to her, maybe you could keep them in your house for the first night and have aunt or granny stay over. The baby will be fine, its a her problem.



  • Registered Users Posts: 7,724 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    I do think that 5 nights away on a different continent is something that should have been discussed with your wife first rather than presented as a surprise. I know when mine was that small I would have not been comfortable flying so far away the first time I left him alone. He would have been three before we went abroad without him and that was for 3 nights at a time and just in Europe. If she’s not used to leaving him, I can see why 5 nights and so far away seems like a lot to start with for her. I also agree the baby would be fine, but a mothers instinct is strong!

    Agree with everyone who says it’s either leave him with family or sell the tickets and do something else. You didn’t do anything wrong by the way and neither is she. There’ll be plenty of other trips to come.

    Good luck whatever you guys decide!



  • Registered Users Posts: 3,963 ✭✭✭3DataModem


    While I travel all over the place for work, my wife doesn't like to travel long haul without our kids in case something happens to us (!) so I understand where she is coming from. The "cut the cord" comments above are silly... babies are not independent of their parents, and it's perfectly natural not to want to be so far away. Kid gets sick or bumps their head -> 24 hours minimum before you're home.

    There's plenty to do in Vegas as a family, but like everywhere there's not much to do with a 1 year old. If you can afford it, consider bringing another couple with a kid with you (or your parents, or her parents) and making a holiday out of it with the express understanding you'll cover their flights and / or hotel if they agree to take the bundle for a couple or three of the nights so you can go out and get f**ked up and gamble and stuff.

    If you end up unloading the ticket let me know I'll be in Vegas around that time for work and the Sphere looks amazing!



  • Registered Users Posts: 473 ✭✭argentum


    I'm heading to vegas to see the same show for 5 nights but travelling alone


    Personally I wouldn't leave a 1 yr old for 5 nights .....your wife wouldn't be able to relax at all and lets be honest you'd probably miss the baby too


    Why not compromise with 3 nights with the gig the second night



  • Registered Users Posts: 4,181 ✭✭✭blackbox


    Either go on your own or forget it.

    Your wife isn't ready to leave the baby. Respect that.



  • Registered Users Posts: 172 ✭✭pat_sconce


    Taking a one year old baby on any type of holiday that involves a lot of travelling is ludicrous. It simply won't be a holiday.

    and who is going to mind the baby when you are at the show?


    I'd suggest USA on your tod together and then maybe a few days of a holiday here as a family.


    BTW, America is very expensive these days. they think Ireland is great value!!!



  • Registered Users Posts: 194 ✭✭dumb_parade


    Went to vegas for 10 days when our kids were 3 and 1 back in 2018. Totally worth it. Your kid will be fine for 5 days being taken care of by relatives. Your wife should realise this too if she really wants to go. It’s no place to bring children, way to hot, difficult to get around, and way bigger than it seems. The hotels themselves can take ages to walk through.



  • Registered Users Posts: 2,097 ✭✭✭witchgirl26


    OP I can understand where your wife is coming from. And I am someone who went away when my son was very little. We did a lovely 2 night break away when he was about 8 weeks old but it was within Europe. I wouldn't be comfortable leaving him now when he's almost 4 for 5 days to go to America without a parent at home. It's just a massive distance should anything happen. And I know, most likely nothing will happen & everyone will have a great time, but the chances are still there. Especially a 1 year old.

    Realistically I don't think you're going to convince your wife that this is a great plan so you maybe either need to shorten the number of days away or rethink completely unfortunately.



  • Registered Users Posts: 5 Commonality Raging


    Thanks again all.

    Just for clarity, the plan would be Vegas for 1 day / night only.



  • Registered Users Posts: 239 ✭✭ElizaBennett


    I did a US trip when my son was about 18 months and suffered horribly from separation anxiety. Very dismissive of people on here to tell your wife she should be easily able to leave one year old. The bond feels like it's still physical at that age so people either get that and know what it feels like or they don't. I think you should sell the tickets or take someone else. She's probably horrendously stressed worrying about it.



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  • Registered Users Posts: 5,429 ✭✭✭finbarrk


    Shorten the trip.



  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,897 Mod ✭✭✭✭shesty


    You won't be going to the concert with the baby comes to the States with you.

    I understand your wife.I would not have left any of mine for that long to go such a distance at age 1. Talk to her but be aware if she goes it may not be a comfortable experience for her overall.I remember a friend of mine saying she went to the UK for 2 nights and 3 days when her 3 kids were small - she was hugely excited and delighted to go but by the end of the second day she said she was missing them so much it was almost a physical ache, and she found it really hard to enjoy and participate in what she was doing with friends over there.Sounds stupid to outsiders looking in, but there you go.The bond is very strong and your wife has to be ready to go herself.So I'd talk to her but prepare yourself for the fact that this trip might not happen.



  • Registered Users Posts: 11,128 ✭✭✭✭Oranage2


    There's no way it's happening, 5 days is just too long without the baby. If you do bring the baby it will also be a nightmare plus if the babysitter cant make it then who can get to babysit the night of the concert?

    Either shorten the trip to 2/3 nights which probably won't be worth it or go somewhere closer like Spain/Portugal



  • Registered Users Posts: 315 ✭✭backwards_man


    Your wife has said 5 nights is too long to be away from the baby. See if she is willing to do less time away or cancel. I left mine at 1 yrs old for 1 night for our anniversary and we both worried constantly, You have a baby now, adapt your liftstyle to suit your new reality.



  • Registered Users Posts: 772 ✭✭✭afkasurfjunkie


    Lol at how things change. Three kids in here and if my husband offered me a 5 day trip to vegas I’d run to the airport barefoot.

    Our issue here is childcare. I’d feel bad asking someone to look after them for the few days. They would be fine tho.



  • Registered Users Posts: 1,172 ✭✭✭fitzparker


    We went for 5 nights when our little one was 1, wife was apprehensive but when she got there she realised she needed the break and enjoyed it, but 3-4 nights was enough, even I wanted to get home.

    on the other hand, if you are able to extent the holiday and make the most of it then why not, as you said leave the child with relatives 3 hours away, go to vegas for a night or 2 then have the rest of the holiday to enjoy.

    I know you have already stated it would just be yourselves going to Vegas not the child, some people have added their 2 cents that vegas isnt for children, I have been numerous of times ( granted none with the kids) but it is what you make it, id gladly bring them if an opportunity came up.

    Water parks, pools in each hotel, incredible sights, concerts, sports

    People see vegas on the tele and think gambling.... its far from it. there is much more to it



  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,897 Mod ✭✭✭✭shesty


    Ha, similar here!Flip side of it is that you don't want to land three small kids on someone to mind because you know EXACTLY how much work that is!



  • Registered Users Posts: 3,390 ✭✭✭Airyfairy12


    5 nights is very long to be away from a 1 year old baby. Being separated from primary caregivers for a lenght of time is very stressful for little babies who dont understand whats going on. I think you should stop undermining your wives feelings and listen to what she's telling you, mothers have a very natural instinct when it comes to their babies, if she says 5 days is too long then its too long. It sounds like you wanted a trip to vegas and didnt consider any of the complications that involves with a little baby.



  • Registered Users Posts: 5 Commonality Raging


    The first really priggish contribution.

    Congrats.

    ---------------------------------------

    Mod Warning: If you have an issue with a post report it. Replies in this forum are expected to be civil and well-phrased. Including from the OP. You might not always like what you hear, but you take what's relevant and ignore what's not.

    Post edited by Big Bag of Chips on


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  • Unregistered / Not Logged In Posts: 276 ✭✭Jazz Hands


    OP . Your missus has made the decision so don't bother booking the trip unless you plan to go with someone else.



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