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Deal Breakers...

  • 10-06-2023 11:49pm
    Posts: 0

    As someone who has no clue how to navigate and often puts others in relationships before thyself tho I can surprise myself at times....I want to know what are other people's deal breakers...and are you really true to them...regardless of how you feel about the other person or are you inclined to make allowances...but really what are the deal breakers?

    (About me saying I have no clue to how to navigate...I do...I underestimate myself alot...I'm not great...I sometimes let things go thinking I understand where the person is coming from underneath and sometimes I'm right and other times I'm wrong)



  • Registered Users Posts: 24,074 ✭✭✭✭Larbre34

    Melting down the tub of butter into a jug, pooing into the empty tub, then pouring the liquefied butter in covering the turd and chilling it back in the fridge so it re-forms on top so nobody is any the wiser; that's where I draw the line.

    At least I will if it happens again.

  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    No personal fantasies please.

    I'm looking for people's real life deal breakers.

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,184 ✭✭✭riclad

    People who are not honest ,people who use drugs ,people who are not faithful,people who are racist .people who smoke .people who are not reliable .people who are rude to waiters or retail workers people who constantly use bad language eg I forgot to charge my phone ,my fffing battery is dead f that .

    People who have no manners

    people who are skangers , eg if you paid 30 euro for a mountain bike it's very likely stolen

    People who vape .people with tattoos on their neck arms legs

    ignorant people they only read tabloids they will watch every soap opera or awful reality TV shows

    People who go to the pub and drink 3 or 4 pints people who use drugs every day

    Loud crude obnoxious people with no manners

    Of course up you could Google relationship red flags

    People who are obsessed with money or buy expensive clothes they can't really afford people who are boring

    People who never read books people whose sole topic of conversation is their children

    People who have an unhealthy lifestyle

    They get no exercise apart from walking to the fridge to get another snack

    I heard program on newstalk

    A relationship expert said there's 3 important factors in a romantic relationship

    1 you must find the other person sexy attractive eg sexual chemistry

    If there's no spark there you.ll know it it's either there or not. It cannot be faked

    I'm not an expert you should wait til date 4,5 before you have sex if you want a serious relationship

    2 You must have the same life goals ambitions roughly eg get a good job education to a certain level buy a house or an apartment at some point

    I cannot remember the last one

    Goldiggers. Eg male or female

    Eg they will only go out with someone who is well off or is on a high salary

    People who go to a pub and spend most of the time looking at their phone insta meta tiktok even when they are with friends

    I don't want to be sexist i.d avoid a woman

    who has 2 or 3 cats or ,dogs pets

    Someone basic bland

    Whatever your definition of basic is

    What music do they like ?

    Is it top 20 pop only

    Do they read books or listen to radio that is not music

    Do they wear only trainers hoodys all the time

    Do they have any hobby's apart from TV or videogames

    Do they walk run cycle everyday eg get some exercise

    This is just my opinion

    I think you need to be intellectually compatible eg can the other person talk about a wide range of subjects that might be interesting to you can you talk to them

    for a long time without being bored or annoyed

    Eg after the initial physical attraction

    You need to have some common interests

    Eg music books certain TV shows podcasts. Pc games etc

    Can they talk about diverse topics

    Apart from gossip TV shows social media

    Is this person obsessed with sport eg they will watch every soccer gaa rugby match shown on TV

    Would this annoy you ?

    People who are rude or overly negative

    They want to go out every night

    Or they only go out once a week

    They smoke weed everyday

    They are happy to go home and just play videogames or watch TV til then go to bed

    They wear they same clothes every day eg no interest in fashion

    They spend money as soon as they get it

    Why save money. I must have the latest iPhone console tech gadget cool trainers

  • Registered Users Posts: 520 ✭✭✭ottolwinner

    Great response above heather. None of your fantasies haha classic

  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    Oh yeah great one 👍

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  • Posts: 1,539 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,172 ✭✭✭barneygumble99

    Trust would be my number 1. If you don’t trust your partner, you have nothing.

  • Registered Users Posts: 968 ✭✭✭Str8outtaWuhan

    Look at her mother, if she is a milf you know the daughter will age well. Also works for fellas and their dads as well.

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,184 ✭✭✭riclad

    Do they treat their family well do they have at least 3 close friends .Of course men may lie about anything in other to get a woman into bed .are their friends ok, or maybe they drink gamble or take drugs to excess have they a good relationship with their family

    Are they in a job they hate ,have no interest in ,but they do it to pay the rent

    Are they sexist eg they seem nice but they expect to be in charge of where you go eg they don't want an equal partnership the woman is expected to do all the housework cooking etc

    Life goals do they want to have kids they want to get promoted in work are they ambitious

    A couple need similar life goals

    A man who has a serious drug or gambling problem will probably try and hide it

    People with mental health issues may not even know it or they'll try and hide it

    Do you enjoy their company

    Are they constantly looking at their phone

    Listen to so you think your an adult podcast on newstalk

    There's always issues like

    I like my boyfriend but insert red flag here

    It's easy to be nice on a date for a few hours and put up a false front

    If you spend 24 hours with someone you ll discover if there's things that annoy you

    Eg they spend hours every day on social media playing videogames watching sport

    on TV they smoke too much

    They drink a few cans of beer every night at home

    Google dating advice podcasts

    Relationship podcasts

    Dating history eg Joe bloggs had ten girlfriends eg he breaks up after 1 to 3 months every time he's in a relationship

    He can't keep a serious relationship going due to various issues

    Are you a non smoker you probably don't want to live with someone who smokes 20 fags a day

    Does this person have a healthy lifestyle

    Do they work 10 hours a day stay late at the office

    I think you need to go on 5 dates with someone to even know is there potential issues

    No 1 issue is trust can you trust this person to respect you treat you as an equal be faithful to you

    Some men want a girlfriend just to cook have sex share the rent as a status symbol

    Does this person have a sense of humour

    Someone could do another long post on women

    Eg what's a red flag for a man who wants to meet a nice girlfriend

    I don't think it's a good idea to go out with anyone who is more than 10 years older than you

    Gen z should not be dating a millennial

  • Registered Users Posts: 520 ✭✭✭ottolwinner

    Riclad reading all your deal breakers makes having a relationship seem like it needs the good Friday agreement drawn up for it.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 4,172 ✭✭✭barneygumble99

    Safe to say if those long lists of deal breakers posted above were put on a dating site by 1 person as deal breakers, the responses would be ‘slow’.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,933 ✭✭✭tesla_newbie

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,184 ✭✭✭riclad

    I realise if you took all those deal breakers seriously then it would exclude a large part of the male population

    eg dating is not easy

    Think do you want an alpha male to take care of you

    or an easy going man who is more aware of equal right s and is not afraid of a strong intelligent woman

    I presume slow is gen z slang

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,172 ✭✭✭barneygumble99

    Then I guess ‘slow’ is a polite way of saying if you posted all those deal breakers of yours on a dating website , you wouldn’t have any responses.

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,926 ✭✭✭Andrea B.

    Reading all the above, with it not mentioned, I take it that commando in a summer dress with my balls visible below the hem, would be ok.....

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,853 ✭✭✭YellowLead

    Vaping, very overweight, long term unemployed, constant foul language, drinks too much, uses drugs regularly, believes in conspiracy theories, serial complainer, attempts to change me, never says thanks.

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,383 ✭✭✭corner of hells

    Someone with no ears , they won’t be able to wear glasses and will become more dependent on you as they age , unless they wear contact lens .

  • Registered Users Posts: 13,707 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard

    Yet another dating thread. Can we not just make the Online Dating thread a generic AH dating megathread and keep all of these together? It's the same people posting on them all anyway.

  • Registered Users Posts: 701 ✭✭✭Ljmscooter

    Forgot to quote

  • Registered Users Posts: 17,045 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject

    No sense of humour, addiction of any sort, poor personal hygiene, boring, very overweight, rude, a bum or overly ambitious - you should work to live, not the other way around.

    Anything else you can work with if there's a spark and sexual compatibility.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 23,756 ✭✭✭✭One eyed Jack

    If it turns out they’re a fella.

    Anything else isn’t a dealbreaker.

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,317 ✭✭✭gameoverdude

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,080 ✭✭✭Mister Vain

    I don't think that list would fit on a single profile. 😄

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,184 ✭✭✭riclad

    Ok now I understand if you put these deakbreakers on a dating profile you would not get a positive response from potential dates eg the responses would be slow i.m older the main way to meet women was at a pub or the local disco ,nightclub eg there was no social media or dating apps

  • Registered Users Posts: 17,045 ✭✭✭✭Leg End Reject

    Did you bring a long checklist and a clipboard to check suitability before asking women out?

    That's skme bloody list, you'd need to be at the door of the pub when it opened to get through it!

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,318 ✭✭✭blackbox

    I can't see anything on the list I'd disagree with.

    Better off alone than with someone you don't like.

  • Registered Users Posts: 2,060 ✭✭✭eggy81

    Would you have drank less than 3 or 4 pints while charming these potential partners?

  • Registered Users Posts: 4,172 ✭✭✭barneygumble99

    You know those pubs you go into and there’s always an oul bachelor lad there on his own sipping away at a pint. Knows everyone else’s business. Yep.

  • Registered Users Posts: 7,859 ✭✭✭growleaves

    You can drink 1, 2 or 5, 6, 7 pints. Those 3 and 4 pint drinkers are unsuitable tho

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  • Registered Users Posts: 513 ✭✭✭The DayDream

    I have generally found that those with really long lists of dealbreakers and 'requirements' for potential partners tend to be long term singles and it isn't due to not being able to find someone to fit their lists. They tend to vastly overestimate their own level of desirability and can't even see their own flaws.