To relocate or not

BigDecisions

Hello,

Myself and my husband are currently trying to buy our first house. We had picked the area we would like to live in (where we currently rent) but my husband then got a job that is 2 hours away. We've been trying to make this work for nearly two years. He goes down for a few nights a week and stays with a relative. There are periods in the year that he doesn't have to be there (can work from home). I work 3 days a week in a job I love and is in a pretty specific role that wouldn't easily be available elsewhere. His job is challenging but rewarding (and is significantly better paid than my job). He could possibly get a similar role closer to our current location but not predictable and not what he wants. We have two small children.

There's so much I like about the area we're currently living in - schools, activities, restaurants, landscape, convenience for visiting family etc. but longterm I'm not sure we can be happy/have a normal family life if my husband is miserable having to commute, live out of a bag and be away from the kids. I'm sure we could make it work if we all moved.....but I don't want to 😬! I don't want to leave my job. I also don't want to risk not having the same quality of life if we did move. Will I be resentful if we move and there are still problems? Will he be resentful if we don't move? We do argue about this and I worry it will grow into a bigger and bigger problem.

I don't think there's an easy solution but would love to hear any perspectives/considerations or from anyone who had made a similar decision.

Thanks all.

89897

You know for sure right now that long term you wont be happy and the way it is right now wont work, however its only the thoughts of change that are scary about moving and thats totally normal.

Would it be possible to move half way between both jobs? Also I would suggest having a look at and thinking about, is your respective jobs more important than the happiness of your family and relationship?

BigDecisions

Thanks for that - useful questions to consider, particularly about trying to see where our priorities lie. We'll get there (wherever that ends up being)!

Purple Mountain

I actually think where you live is probably the most important factor in a person's life.

You have roots made, kids have school? you have a job, friends etc.

I'd be looking for a compromise in terms of your husband's job first before moving.

Can he move more days to work from home for example?

Explore what moving job would mean?

It's easier to uproot a job and start again than uproot your whole life and move two hours away.