Separation Agreement - Living in same jointly owned house

NTSITDOA

Hi All,

Apologies if this has been covered before but I read a good few threads in this forum and none seemed to cover this.

My wife and I want to separate and have been living completely separate lives for over a year. We have one child and agreed to a 50/50 split.

However, we are still living the house we own together. Ideally, I would like to sell the house but she does not. The housing crisis makes it incredibly difficult for me to consider moving out and I also don't want to just hand over the house to her.

I would like to no longer be married to her. As much as the living arrangement is far from ideal it's something I can work around with the idea of eventually sorting that.

My question is, can a separation agreement (prior to divorce proceedings after two years) be agreed without resolving the house situation or does the house either have to be awarded to someone/sold?

Thanks

case_sensitive

Without sounding obvious, pay a family solicitor a retainer and get good legal advice. €750 will get you some initial advice.

If your wife doesn't want to sell the house, and it's the primary family home, with your kids in it, you'll struggle to compel her to.

l don't envy your situation.

Senature

Definitely get good legal advice.

The housing crisis exacerbates these difficult situations.

One issue with houses is that each spouse feels like they own a house, but in reality, they each own house value minus mortgage balance, less selling costs, then split what's left in half.

As long as the mortgage is being paid, the house represents, security, a home, status, a workplace etc so it has a lot of value. When you turn it into a financial sum it often looks a bit stark.

Dial Hard

Can she buy you out of the house? That seems like the best option to me.

To answer your question, no, a divorce is highly unlikely to be granted without all joint assets being dealt with.

NTSITDOA

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120473063#Comment_120473063

She can't. I can buy her out but she is insisting that the amount she is entitled to would have to be enough to get similar house rather than downsizing, which I've been told is not true.

Dial Hard

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120473122#Comment_120473122

It's not true, all she's "entitled" to is her share of the market value of the house.

Senature

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120473122#Comment_120473122

Of course this couldn't be true. A harsh reality of separation is the adjustment to being a single income household, which will affect lifestyle.

You both need to think about what mortgage repayments you can afford on an ongoing basis when you will be paying for your own houses seperately. Neither of you should be on the hook to pay for each other's houses after divorce, just to share expenses directly related to your child - education, healthcare, clothing, food, activities, utilities etc

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120473122#Comment_120473122

This is 100% not true, even if it frequently seems to me that one gender has a strong sense of entitlement to securing the family home for themselves and the poverty of their male spouse. Courts have in recent years been crystal clear that both spouses have to accept a lower standard of living in the event of divorce. Read this very informative 2019 report on family law reform from the Law Society: https://www.lawsociety.ie/globalassets/documents/submissions/divorce-in-ireland-april-2019.pdf

Specifically, I quote from that: "Where a decree of divorce/separation is granted, two houses will be necessary and both spouses will inevitably suffer financially. This is repeatedly recognised by the courts. In HD v ED, 40 Costello J. noted that “[a] broken marriage inevitably means a lowering of the living standards of both parties which can be very considerable in some instances.” Similarly, in BF v VF, 41 Lynch J. stated: “It is inevitable that all the parties will suffer a significant diminution in the overall standard of living. The necessity for two separate residences to be maintained and two households to be provided for makes this an inescapable consequence of the separation.”'

Also, don't forget the other side to the current housing crisis: if you own a home, the market is at/close to peak prices so you will get more for your property and have more freedom to buy a cheaper place. Imagine how hard it would be to convince a judge to sell the family home in 2009 when house prices plummeted and negative equity meant you spent years with your ex (even though to buy another house it would obviously have been cheaper then than now). You are, on balance, much better off with the current situation than the situation in 2009.

iniscealtra

Would it be possible to divide the house into two apartments?

Dial Hard

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120502243#Comment_120502243

Chances of getting planning permission for that are virtually nil. Besides, who wants to live next door to their ex? Terrible idea for so many reasons.