Football

A Wrghdsfsd

YellowLead

What is very worrying here, regardless of what might or might not happen, is the lack of trust.

When you are marrying somebody it should be in full security love and trust, with no clouds of suspicion.

None of us can answer whether your fiancée is planning a final shag or not, we don’t know the context - was is said jokingly etc. But if you don’t trust her now, are you ever going to trust her? Every time she goes away with girlfriends are you always going to wonder?

I’d think long and hard about whether getting married is the right thing to do at all, even if it is 4 weeks out from the event. Clearly there are other things going on and this random comment didn’t derail solid trust that was there previously.

There is no harm having a hard think about going ahead with the marriage as YellowLead suggested. I’d ask her what she meant about that joke and quite frankly ask her “is this something you might like to do?” Many a truth is embedded in a throwaway joke, this is something I’ve learned tone and again. Never mind about wedding plans, that’s only a day, your marriage is always hopefully for life or at least a long time. Nothing worse than being on edge for the rest of your days with lack of trust, it’s no way to exist and will lead to rows or an early end to the marriage.

My mother used tell me about the night before her cousin was due to get married, back in the 1950s, she was crying and expressing huge doubts about her forthcoming marriage. Mum regretted very much persuading her to go ahead with the wedding and not supporting her in calling it off last minute. The marriage proved miserable, she rapidly took to alcohol and subsequently died of influenza from her immune system being compromised. Mum always said thereafter that if you have big doubts don’t go through with it and never mind anybody’s expectations, others are not in the marriage.

TheadoreT

Only you know what your girlfiends humour is. Is it out of character or does she often make inappropriate "jokes"?

The fact you're honing in it and started a thread would make me think your trust in her is less than rock solid(perhaps justifiably). So that's not an ideal place to be 4 weeks out from marrying her.

What's the sex life like? You get endless amounts of guys here who fool themselves into thinking "it will get better after "x,y,z" at some point in the future". 10 years from now spoiler alert - it rarely does. But if its very regular you probably have less worries.

At least worst it's a horribly gormless joke. At 2nd worst, she's testing you which would indicate she's not fully sure about you and seeing how you react to these type of trigger comments. At worst, she plans to shag someone and probably has been sleeping around already. None of those are great imo.

Time for a frank chat indeed, but starting from the perspective of it being an unappreciated thing to say to someone you are shortly to marry. As another poster says, only you know her type of humour, but if the vibes aren’t good you need to have a chat, but be prepared for trust to unravel all around. It’s already shaky, so I don’t see further damage being done tbh. That said, we are only a bunch of randomers here proffering an opinion to a scenario of which we have only a few jigsaw pieces.

HildaOgdenx

Mod Note - OP deleted - thread closed.

Hilda