Need expert help!

Birdland

Hi. I'm going through a separation. I have very little income of my own. I have been reading up on welfare payments and am not sure that I qualify for any of them as there is usually some criteria I don't meet e.g. Working Family Payment (WFP) - I am not an employee and I don't work 38 hours per fortnight! I'm worried to make an application for a type of social welfare in case I don't qualify and that will prevent me from applying for another one. It all seems full of pitfalls and out of my reach. It would be fantastic if I could just outline my situation and get advice as to which payment I should try for. Here are some of the facts if anyone might be able to direct me to an organisation or helpline who could offer advice or help - thank you:

• married soon to be separated
• partner buying new house so I expect he will be gone in 2-3 months
• myself and two children (aged 10 and 11) will live in the family home which has value of e350 with e120 outstanding (mortgage in husbands name but I understand that it is 50/50 mine and his)
• outstanding mortgage of e1,100 per month to be paid by me
• my income is very low - around 60 per week doing some SNA subbing work and tutoring for the ETB
• children will go to their fathers home (their dad says this will be 50/50 but I'm not sure if that's practical as he working full time)
• I will possibly get some maintenance
• we are on good terms generally however my counsellor pointed out that there was a lot of coercive control going on especially financially
• I have engaged with domestic violence services, Gardai, Womens Aid, solicitor, family mediation. None of these organisations can offer help, support or advice with getting social welfare. One is entirely on ones own with regard to bringing in money.
• I don't know how I can go out and earn more money due to being a full time mum, activities, homework, meals etc. I am physically exhausted everyday by 6pm just trying to keep the family ticking over! I have some arthritis which may be contributing to this.
• I should say that I have done EVERYTHING in the family home including all my other half's meals, shopping, laundry, driving kids to school etc. I have more or less been living like a single parent for years as he focuses all his attention on work. The coercive side of him says that he earns all the money and I earn nothing. I'm not saying this for sympathy but just to outline my circumstances.

I rang Citizens Advice some time back but I broke down. I feel (possibly incorrectly) that they're trying to say 'well you can't get this, and you can't get that'. I didn't hear them say 'look, this is what you should do in your situation'. I'm hoping to get advice akin to the latter if it's possible.

I do find myself wondering if certain Citizens Advice offices are better with state benefit information? Thank you for reading.

TooTired123

If your husband is planning to leave you then you need to apply for legal aid in order to take him to court to apply for maintenance from him for both you and your 2 children.

If you apply for legal aid now then you might be sorted out with a solicitor by the time he’s gone.

Right now while he’s living in your home you would find it very hard to get a SW payment because he is still paying all the bills.

The day he’s gone you can apply for Jobseekers Transitional payment and immediately apply for Supplementary Welfare Allowance while your waiting for it to be processed

So your plan for Monday is to ring your local Legal Aid Board and explain the situation. That you are in a domestic violence situation, your husband is leaving, that you will have to apply to the courts for maintenance, that you have €60 income per week of your own.

Birdland

The day he’s gone you can apply for Jobseekers Transitional payment and immediately apply for Supplementary Welfare Allowance while your waiting for it to be processed

That is exactly the type of advice I was hoping to get - thank you so much. I had been looking through the types of payments but hadn't looked at that one as wasn't sure what it was. I'll have a look now.

I omitted to say, in my original post, that I have applied for Legal Aid and have had the initial phone consultation. I am due to meet the solicitor in person in a couple of weeks. That said I am now due to give them over e800 for their service before that meeting - an amount that I just don't have and I'm pretty sure my husband won't agree for us to pay for out of our joint money. That said, he knows that while we continue to live under one roof and I continue to support him to work two concurrent full time jobs that we have to work together to move on. So the solicitor thing is in hand.

Legal Aid also gave me access to a private solicitor with a view to getting a protection order. In the end it didn't go ahead as the solicitor and I agreed to write a warning letter to his solicitor saying he was not to lash out, use abusive language to me or the children etc. He has warned me that if he gets a protection order that 'that will be it' and he will never talk to me again. Yes, more of the coercive control but it worked - I didn't get the protection order!

Anyway, thank you for that sound advice and for replying so quickly.

TooTired123

Best of luck to you and your children. Keep working with the people who are helping you.