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11 year old struggling with emotions

  • 19-01-2023 11:23am
    Registered Users Posts: 296 ✭✭ clonesbabe

    Hi. I have an 11 year old boy who has always struggled with emotions but lately its relentless and has caused a lot of tears for both him and me.

    He was diagnosed with ADHD at 7 years of age but to an outsider looking in they would not see this and think he just has extra energy. He plays and absolutely loves football and plays most days so he uses a lot of energy this way.

    He has over the years needed a lot of Occupational therapy for sensory issues mostly with clothes and shoes not been tight enough or just not feeling right. I thought we had got a handle on this but over the past few weeks it has increased 10 fold.

    I struggle to buy clothes for him as he is tall and slim and wont wear anything i buy and nothing really fits him well enough. To put this in context in order for bottoms to fit him on the waist in order for him to feel comfortable they would be age 9-10 which then are half way up his leg. Socks and shoes need to be so tight on him and he will rarely wear a pair of runners after a few weeks as the tight feeling has gone by then. He wont wear bulky winter coats as they dont feel right and most tags need to be removed from clothes so as not to set him off.

    This morning every thing came to a head when I couldn't style his hair the way he liked. This resulted in an all out tantrum/hissyfit which then led to nothing been right, the uniform trousers were annoying him, then the shirt collar didn't feel right, then the shoes. It was absolutely mental , he was late for school and in shocking back form going in. The biggest issue for me is that when one thing is bothering him, absolutely everything bothers him and this inevitably leads to him breaking down.

    When he gets upset like this he becomes almost rigid with his hands and legs like he has this extra strength and I cant get him to release them until he has calmed down. I am beyond stressed at the toll this is taking. I have bought him all sorts of fidgit toys, stress balls, activity books and mood cards for anxiety/stress but he rarely uses them. He has had play therapy on a couple of occasions as well but is refusing to go back.

    He also cant cope with losing while playing computer games and this is the cause of major stress in our home, as he could be playing fifa and happy out one minute but then he starts to lose and its another breakdown.

    Also, I live alone with him. He sees his dad every 2nd weekend due to distance. He does not have tantrums or breakdowns when he is with his father at all.

    Has anyone else had smiliar and how did you get a handle on it.