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Nowhere to Move to After Separation

  • 01-01-2023 12:55pm
    Registered Users Posts: 30

    My fiancé and I separated mid July. We have no children but co-own a house in his hometown. Both of us are on title deeds and mortgage, with payment of bills/mortg/insurance etc split 50/50.

    The understanding was that he would buy me out of the house. We continue to live together until he gets mortgage approval (expected this month). He's been a bit difficult about the settlement figure and now I'm glad he has been.

    Spending Christmas in my mother's house has shown me that I cannot move back there. In short, it's an abusive household, and there is no peace there. With the housing crisis the way it is, I have nowhere else to go. Rents are extortionate and buying is beyond my capacity.

    So I have decided to stay in our home. The mortgage is affordable, and although it's not an ideal environment to live in, it's nowhere near as controlling and negative as my mother's house.

    I'm wracked with anxiety about this. I don't know how to tell my ex, and I don't know how he will respond.

    Surely others are in my situation (unable to find alternative housing)? What have you done to make the best of it?

    Any advice welcome. Thanks.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    Loads of us are in a similar situation, rest assured. Mid-July is a long time given that you have no kids and are not legally married. Is he less happy about the split? Is there malice?

    You really need to work together to get this done without delay. Get two auctioneers/valuers (not connected with his home town) to value the house and agree beforehand to accept a mid figure between the difference between both. Or just go on the PPR and find what similar houses were going for recently. It would be significantly easier to sell the property and split the money so there's no doubt. A court would almost certainly order that if you requested it, given that there are no children, etc. But you don't want to get caught up in the court system for that. It might be worth ringing FLAC free family law centre for advice on the waiting time for that specifically.

    As for living apart under the same roof, it gets much easier. Have your separate lives, agree to tidy up your mess and give space to each other. Get your daily routines and just focus on getting better/stronger and the brighter future ahead. It can be the most extraordinary journey of self-discovery of your life. You are blessed you have no kids.