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Opinions - uncles & aunts gifting cash

  • 25-12-2022 10:55am
    Registered Users Posts: 335 ✭✭ Kurooi

    When I was growing up my cool uncle would slide me bits of cash when we met. This being outside of birthdays, Christmas, just regular days. I don't know whether other people do that, is it socially normal. I sort of feel I should give it forward, do the same for my nieces and nephews eldest now being 11 and she actually seems very money smart. Saves everything she gets and spends it on the big stuff like a laptop/tablet.

    At the same time I've never done it, so feels awkward.

    What do you all think?


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,811 Mod ✭✭✭✭ shesty

    I wouldn't, I don't think.

    A million reasons, none very big but....

    Creates an expectation every time the kids see you ; could end up being seriously costly for you if you do it for every child every time you see them; when do you start, she's 11, do you then wait til all the others are 11 before you start with them; maybe their parents would prefer them not be handed money, she might save and spend smartly, will the others; no it is certainly not an expectation.

    All small reasons.I see it with my in-laws myself, they started giving my kids small bits of money on every visit a couple years ago, and now they walk in the door and my kids are basically lined up with their hands out.Yes, I do tell them not to do it, but still at some point one child will say "when are you giving us money" or similar.They preach to the kids about saving but the reality is, that isn't how every child sees it and rows do happen once they are gone about the money.

    Special occasions is ok but I don't think I'd go in for doing it.every time you see them.

  • Registered Users Posts: 984 ✭✭✭ Still stihl waters 3

    I do it if one of them are going anywhere, holidays, j1, skiing etc ive a nephew studying law in Luxembourg so I give him a few bob when he's back, between 100 to 200 usually depending on what they're at, it's no harm and it's only money at the end of the day

  • Registered Users Posts: 1,079 ✭✭✭ walterking

    I think it has moved on from a couple of quid here and there.

    I've 4 godchildren and on top of the birthday/Christmas pressies I'll contribute/pay for a pastime such as soccer training / golf membership (junior golf is quite cheap) and take an interest in how they do.

    So like poster above, pick a key item / trip / occasion / pastime to contribute to and if you have the time, take an active interest in it. - I'm hoping for a free Ryder Cup ticket in about 2040 🤣🤣

  • Registered Users Posts: 3,040 ✭✭✭ NSAman

    I only see them infrequently. Not all their parents would be flush. What harm is there?

    it’s not an expectation on their part, they are genuinely happy to see us when we are home.

    it’s also between them and us. No telling mam or dad. My god daughter got married this year, we made a deal to something that they wanted but no one was to know apart from myself, herself, god daughter and future husband (at that stage). At the end of the day, it’s not about bribing, it’s about making a small contribution to them, knowing that their mums and dads don’t always have the ability to do what we can.

  • Administrators Posts: 12,207 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭ Big Bag of Chips

    My children have lots of aunts and uncles and 4 grandparents. Very occasionally someone will give them a fiver or tenner here or there. It's never expected and doesn't necessarily follow any pattern. They certainly wouldn't get cash everytime they see them. They see my husband's family very infrequently and there's zero expectation of a sneaky fiver when they do.

    Children who get things rarely really appreciate them. I think if you have a fiver in your pocket and one of your nieces or nephews calls around for a visit and you feel like you'd like to give them something, then there is absolutely zero harm in it. They will not expect it the next time. They will go to the shop and buy themselves something small and random and they will feel very happy. It's a nice thing to do so long as you're not under pressure to hand out 20s! To be honest even if you gave an 11 year old €2 or €3 out of your pocket and told her to buy herself something in the shop she'd be thrilled.

    I think if it's something you'd like to occasionally do - do it. But don't feel under pressure to do it every time.

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