Work Crush Has Me Questioning Everything

alice14

Just a bit of background I've been single for about 4 years for various reasons. I came out of a long term relationship, went travelling, struggled with my mental health and covid all contributed. I've been on a few dates but really haven't been in the headspace to date properly again until very recently (I'm in my late 20s). I've always thought I was straight, have only ever fancied or been in relationships with men before but now something that has happened recently has me questioning my sexuality.

But firstly I have another problem, I've worked in the same job for about a year but recently have developed feelings for a work colleague. I work in healthcare and she and I work in the same wider area but we do different jobs, we don't work particularly closely together but would see each other daily in multidisciplinary clinics. All of a sudden I find myself really attracted to her, fantasising about her, I basically just find her really attractive both physically and also in the way she does her job so well. But I know nothing could ever happen, firstly because she has a boyfriend and secondly we work together, it would just be a terrible idea.

I suppose what I really want advice on is firstly how do I get over this crush? It seems to have happened out of the blue and is incredibly distracting in work, I'm thinking about her a lot, when I next might see her, what I could say to strike up a conversation or make small talk. I don't want to feel like this but I also can't help it. In some ways I'm wondering is this just a sign that I'm really ready for a relationship because I haven't felt this way about someone in so long.

Secondly this is really making me question am I straight? Am I bisexual? I've never been this attracted to a girl before and it's honestly making me feel like a confused teenager.

Any advice on either of the above points would be hugely welcome.

TheadoreT

Attraction isn't a binary thing, everyone is somewhere on spectrum whether they like to admit it or not, some people find it so repulsive(mostly insecure men) that they condition themselves (or were condtioned) to deny this at all costs.

But yeah chill out, you're only like every other human on earth. You don't need to put a binary label on yourself.

But aside from that be respectful of her relationship. You shouldn't be going out of your way to think of ways to chat/flirt with her. You wouldn't like it if someone treated a partner of yours like that.

HildaOgdenx

Mod Note - joeguevara I have deleted your post.

As per the charter - Personal Issues is an advice forum.

We ask that posters offer advice to the OP when posting.

Hilda