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Separate from chronic ill partner (mens health)

cyclohead · 2022-10-27 18:04:19

Hi folks, My wife / ex-wife, not sure what to call her yet. We've agreed that the marriage is over. She's chronically ill. We've 3 kids ranging from 16 to 7. She is unable to look after herself, nit to mind the kids. We were going to separate about 6/7 years ago, but then shortly after she started feeling unwell and has…

27-10-2022 7:04pm

#1

cyclohead
Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭

Join Date: March 2013

Posts: 5

Hi folks,
My wife / ex-wife, not sure what to call her yet. We've agreed that the marriage is over. She's chronically ill. We've 3 kids ranging from 16 to 7. She is unable to look after herself, nit to mind the kids.
We were going to separate about 6/7 years ago, but then shortly after she started feeling unwell and has gotten progressively worse. I work full time, up at 05:30, then I'm her carer until around 11 at night. I'm physically wrecked. We have another carer that does 2 hours a day while I'm at work and kids in school.
I want to get away so badly. She gets quite abusive verbally to me and sometimes the kids. A little bit understandably, as she is 99.5% confined to the bed. We're all tired of the caring. We can't go anywhere at weekends or evenings as we're tied to the house.
If I left, then the HSE would re-evaluate her care requirements. She is unwilling to go anywhere for suitable care. She wants to be at home.
Sometimes, when arguments with Mam and kids, the kids would want me to leave and bring them with me, but other times, they say they won't leave her.
Legally, they would have to come with me, as they are underage and she is unable to care for them.
Has anyone been in this situation that can offer me some real advice.
I'm looking for Men or maybe women in roles reversed that have gone through this.

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