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Healthy and happy and HIV+ now looking to get married and have a family

  • 19-10-2022 9:30pm
    Registered Users Posts: 6 Irishincognito

    I posted here a couple of month's ago, about being HIV undetectable and wanting to start a family in my 40s. I expected to receive a mixed response but was so impressed with the encouraging responses I received.

    Having thought long and hard about posting on here again I thought I'll give it another go in my new-found effort to find a partner. Here goes..

    I am professional-ish type guy, 42yo, Fit, healthy, easy-going and good company. I am HIV "undetectable" (which means there is 0% chance of passing the virus on as I take a tablet a day that suppresses it) and I've been living with and managing this for over 10 years. I took myself out of the dating world altogether once I got my diagnosis so have been single for over a decade and I feel a relationship is long overdue.

    Unfortunately, I can't join the regular dating sites as I don't wish to put my HIV status up there next to my photo and I've kept my HIV status to myself. I would prefer it to be known beforehand so there are no surprises.

    If anyone knows where I could meet someone open to dating a guy who is HIV undetectable then please could you let me know? I'm a little above the age I thought I would have kids at - but I believe age aside I have a lot of love to offer, and that's the main thing.

    I really would like to find someone special to spend my life with and dive into making a family together.

    Thanks for reading. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.



  • Registered Users Posts: 12,743 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain

    Is there a support group or chat site for people living with HIV?

    Like I know there are different support groups for people who have many types of conditions.

    That might be a way to make friends, get support, gain trust and in turn you might find love.

    Forget the notion of marriage and family as a goal. That only puts pressure on yourself. Go out there with an open mind that you will meet new people, hopefully a partner and if things work out maybe more.

    To thine own self be true

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,789 ✭✭✭Gusser09

    Just get out and about and start meeting women that way. There is great understanding these days when it comes to hiv. Ive heard various experts say they would rather a hiv diagnosis over diabetes or ms for example. Hiv isnt what it used to be.

    You seems like a positive and happy person so shouldnt have an issue meeting people.

    >>Mod Snip<< Removed personal question that has no relevance to the advice being sought.

    Post edited by Hannibal_Smith on

  • Registered Users Posts: 20,075 ✭✭✭✭recode the site

    Well-informed people wouldn’t usually have an issue with a previous/undetectable HIV infection. Many would be more worried about any number of other more troublesome infections/conditions. There’s probably ladies on the apps with same status too. It is important to share the status early as it shows honesty & integrity & it’s only fair and appropriate. Human nature being what it is, some girls will politely decline further contact, but the ones who don’t will likely have plenty of character & substance.

    Righteous Television Events is an ace broadcasting organisation; we’ll not be hearing counter opinion, d’jya hear me?

  • Registered Users Posts: 13,057 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard

    Folks, can we all at least do the OP the courtesy of reading his post? He's not looking for a female partner.

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  • Posts: 0 Van Immense Dean

    Best wishes. What’s for you, won’t pass you by, as my dear departed ma used say.

  • Registered Users Posts: 13,057 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard

    Apologies, you're absolutely right, I misread the OP.

  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,611 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith

    Mod Note

    Gusser09, I've deleted your posts as they have no relevance to what the OP has asked. If you cannot offer advice to the OP on what they have asked, then move on to another thread.


  • Registered Users Posts: 6 Irishincognito

    Thanks all, appreciate your comments. Cheers.

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  • Registered Users Posts: 20,075 ✭✭✭✭recode the site

    Hope you find someone really good to fulfil your dreams 😊 I am sure you will make them very happy too.

    Righteous Television Events is an ace broadcasting organisation; we’ll not be hearing counter opinion, d’jya hear me?

  • Registered Users Posts: 18 freebirds

    Last year I watched Tommy Tiernan interview Robbie Lawler who's HIV positive and he really explained the condition, his life. It took the mystery and fear away. I think fear and repression around sexuality is leaving. I think if you put yourself out there, you'll meet someone and if you receive judgment or hostility on a date then you can say, thank you next. Good luck OP