Don't want to be spare wheel

How can i avoid being asked to accompany my friend and his GF on outings?

I made a misktake of going on a day out trip with them once, i was half asleep when he asked. I had had no sleep the night before and lay down for a nap. So i said yes before thinking

They nearly drove me mad on about prices how cheap things were in one particular pub. Not once but all the time prices prices even on the drive home and later that week when i met him he was on about cheap prices. the breakfast was horrible as a result of the cheaping

Then i met them in local town on saturday and they were going for a drink. They asked me but i said no. I did some shopping and went for a drink myself but unfortunately picked the same pub. They were outside on seats on the path so i went in. They followed me in....

Now he said they are going to some day trip to Dublin and asked me to go

i do not want to be third wheel outside couple and do not want platonic friendship with someone else's girlfriend or any woman. Don't care for women much due to experiences. I am not jealous of them in case anyone think so but don't want to be outsider in couple. Also she drives me mad always on about prices and cheaping things. They both do. But i don't want to offend them either. years ago he was with someone else, ringing me when they had problems with neightbours. expecting me to solve their problems .i want to distance myself from both of them actually.

mikewest

Have a chat with your mate and be very diplomatic. Say that you think he is on to a winner there but that you may screw it up for him due to your bad experiences and you are afraid you may say something out of place and ruin it for him. Again tell him you think he is lucky and you think she is a good fit for him. Be nice but extricate yourself from their lives while leaving the impression you are doing it for them. Good luck.

mrslancaster

Make sure you're "busy" when they ask you to join them. If it happens a few times, he may take the hint.

rdhma

"But i don't want to offend them either."

Why not? Sounds like you don't like either of them, so no need to tiptoe around the issue.

Donald Trump

If you are male, then make your buddy think you fancy his gf and then start suggesting that maybe you could go and meet her on your own when he isn't around. He'll stop bringing you places with her then

If you are female, just make her think that you are trying to hook up with her fella.

Pissy Missy

Do what most people do in Ireland when they don't want to be friends with someone anymore, distance yourself from them until they get the hint

Dial Hard

You're completely overthinking this. Just say "Thanks, maybe next time" whenever they ask you out. They'll soon get the message.

It does sound a bit like you could do with working on your own issues a bit too though, tbh.

TheadoreT

I don't think you'd offend anyone by just basically saying I find third wheeling awkward. It's obviously understandable.

But your stance against all women is very worrying I must say. To write off an entire sex based on bad experiences of a small number is irrational and unhealthy. Seeking therapy to work through those negative thoughts may be worthwhile.

not a small number and has caused great depression. i leave them alone all i ask is they leave me alone. This person with her obsessing re prices especially. I couldn't believe she said when we were eating how the price was so good it was cheaper than buying and cooking. And kept on all through the meal and all through the drive home. I hate that penny pinching meanness, staying in dirty hotels to save a few euro