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Temporary low feeling

  • 04-08-2022 5:15pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 23


    Hi all,

    Just posting to get my thoughts out.

    I am due to complete the New York marathon in November, training going good and all that. I was due to run it in 2020 but covid hit, same in 2021 but now it's happening.

    I am looking into flights accommodation etc, have been doing for some time on and off. I posted in RI about a relationship I had last year that ended and lately feel bit underwhelmed / anxious about the actual trip itself.

    When I was due to go originally in Nov 2020, a relationship I was in ended but with covid cancelling everything etc I knew I would get opportunity again and hopefully be in a happier place.

    2021 was closed to international runners so couldn't go then, but I am going now.

    I posted in RI about a different relationship that ended and left me quite sore. I am single , have tried dating etc but nothing lasting thus far.

    I'm posting cause I am a little anxious/ underwhelmed that I am going solo which is what I don't want in a way but also is bringing up some soreness from before.

    Hopefully it's just a phase but just wanted post to get it out.



Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 930 ✭✭✭TheadoreT


    I assume your original dream was to have someone alongside you for this, and it all feels a bit empty now in comparison.

    I think it's OK to accept that you just don't like doing things alone. I never did when I was single. Would love personal time alone at home(still do) but for the odd outdoor event or holiday I did without a friend/GF I never really enjoyed it tbh.

    Some people are great at it but I personally always found myself looking at happy families or couples and getting a bit down and would spoil an experience. Shared experiences imo are so much more special.

    You'll probably get a lot of "go anyway, you'll have a blast" but it's a lot of money to spend if you feel iffy about it.

    I'd recommend just trying to get yourself out there more, join groups, take classes, try find that human connection you're craving, and don't beat yourself up about not being fully happy alone/single.



  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,799 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    If you're putting in a decent training block for a marathon you'd be mad to let it go, in my envious opinion any way 😀. Unless you can get entry to another marathon closer to home around the same time?

    There's a Running Events subforum in the Athletics and Running forum here on boards, I'd be very surprised if there isn't a thread on the New York Marathon there already. There might be more going that you could train with or get to know before going?

    The event itself is a marker for you, like a mirror into how things were and how you expected things to be when you first planned for it in 2020. But imagine crossing the finish line having put in all the hard work and completing a marathon with an NYC back drop. That sense of achievement would surely dilute any emotional marker you had before?



  • Registered Users Posts: 23 8outof10


    Hi. Thanks for your reply.

    Yes that's how I had thought it would be and it does me feel empty. Originally I had hoped that the trip would have an extra occasion to celebrate so a sense of hurt is there given I am still on my own.

    Oh I have done all you suggested, I think it's just when I actually need to get all my trip plans in order it hit me again.

    Just a temporary blip

    Thanks



  • Registered Users Posts: 23 8outof10


    Hi. Thanks for your reply

    I can postpone it for another year but tbh I wouldn't do that as the runner part of me is saying now is the time. And I am doing training for it and have friends doing Dublin the week before so I don't have any concerns (yet) about training etc.

    I am used to solo trips, treat them like work trips.

    Yes it is a marker and believe me the finishing line and elation is what drives me to do the training and torture etc 🙃 and I know there will be a release when it's completed.

    I think it's just when I have to actually book the flights etc that it hit me again that the trip / event / occasion I had hoped for past few years is gone and its just knocked me abit.

    I know I want to do it, and in a way I need to do it, just need get out of this flux

    Thanks



  • Registered Users Posts: 3,331 ✭✭✭randombar


    Only started running a while ago myself but I think park of what's in your head is a "grass is always greener" effect. Did the half in Cork and I'd family there cheering me on but at the end of the day I did it for myself, crossing the line I was thinking I've done that now. Try not to think too much about what could have been cause it never would have been how you imagined it anyway. Besides that just put on the Irish accent a bit in new york and you might meet that special someone :D



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  • Registered Users Posts: 633 ✭✭✭LilacNails


    Op, imagine the feeling you would have crossing the finish line....u would be so proud and grateful to have done what ur so scared to do.

    U NEED to do it, or u will regret it !



  • Registered Users Posts: 23 8outof10


    Hi All,

    Just coming back to this, 4 weeks to go now!

    I am still going ahead with the trip etc. Yes it is not what I had hoped / envisaged when I first had this opportunity but I owe it to myself to finish this journey. The run may not go as planned / hoped but my mindset is to embrace this and no matter what time / feelings I have, to be proud that I am doing this and will finished it no matter what. Plus as people said, embrace the fact I am in NY and enjoy myself.



  • Registered Users Posts: 23 8outof10


    Hi All,

    Just give a brief update now that I am back in country. I had booked a 10 day stay so I could enjoy NY and do few things.

    Firstly, I ran and finished the marathon !!!! It was the warmest winter NY marathon on record, (23 degrees with high humidity) so it was certainly challenging, but sure who wants an easy run eh 😂

    During the run my focus and drive never waivered, I ran a consistent race and felt good during it, which kinda surprised me but also didn't as I had put training in for it.

    The week after the run, there was only 1 day where it rained, every day was in the 20 degrees so was nice to see the sights etc. in nice summer weather.

    There were a few moments when I did think it would be nice to share this with someone and I let those thoughts out but didn't dwell on them.

    I am proud that I finished this journey and I do think I have put some things to bed now. There are different new challenges ahead and I do feel having this journey completed I can look forward again and get back my smile !



  • Registered Users Posts: 633 ✭✭✭LilacNails


    Thought of thid thread when I heard about the marathon, well done op so glad u did it. Be proud of yourself.



  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,799 Mod ✭✭✭✭Hannibal_Smith


    OP that's super stuff. It must have been a wonderful experience not only to complete a marathon but with that magnificent back drop it must have been something else. Congratulations 🎊



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  • Registered Users Posts: 272 ✭✭j2


    What time did you get?



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