Adults with teddy bears

Kermit.de.frog

Is it weird if an adult or your other half brings 'Snuggles' to bed with them every night or even has a teddy at all?

If suddenly they started doing that how would you react?

My immediate reaction would probably be that all might not be well upstairs but I guess I could live with it (so long as it's not a voodoo doll or somethin)

You?

Gant21

Weirder when they bring their pets to bed.

odyssey06

Dunno, let me think about it

I noticed at the Commonwealth Games medal ceremonies they were giving the medalists what appeared to be teddy bears.

I immediately thought this was weird. They looked more like voodoo dolls.

I think it is some sort of secret front. Either aliens and\or voodoo is involved.

Perhaps the teddy bear starts to control the human.

Perhaps your OH is somehow caught up in all of this.

Where did they get this 'teddy bear'? Can they remember? Have they started acting abnormal in other ways?

Potential-Monke

I'd be strong and supportive

Literally harmless. Let them off. You've no idea why they have that, and it's not our place to pry. Now, if they start talking to it like it's alive, that's a different story. But zero harm in someone having something that makes them feel comfortable in bed. Most people have a favourite set of PJ's, or a blanket, or a certain pillow. This is no different imo.

If we're going to think these people are weird, what about all the people who deck out their house, or a portion of it, with their favourite football club merch? I find that weirder tbh.

mistress_gi

I am one of those people. I still still with some sort of soft shaped anything relly at night.

I'm a terrible sleeper and this brings me great confort, it would be hard for me to give that up.

It's harmeless really.

I'd be strong and supportive

As long as they're not like a foghorn in the bed beside me, they can bring whoever and whatever they want to bed.

BaywatchHQ

My sister has one but she kept it because of its age. My father went to the All Ireland semi final in 1987 and brought home a teddy bear for my sister who was a baby at the time.

There is also a giant gorilla teddy in the attic, I think that is from the 80s too.

Donald Trump

OP, I think the problem is less that your other half brings a teddy bear to bed and more on why you won't wait on her to at least finish primary school.

Especially since you were clear to differentiate

an adult or your other half

Larbre34

I'd be strong and supportive

Took an 8 week road trip in New Zealand and Australia for our honeymoon many moons ago and bought a Sheep teddy as a dashboard mascot before we hit the road. We still have him, he's a bit the worse for wear, but he has pride of place in a spare bedroom and he's important to us. He signifies great memories and we'd honestly be devastated if he was lost.

My wife also has a childhood teddy that she keeps carefully.

We don't exactly cuddle up in bed with them, but they are every bit as important as a memorable gift, or photo or other souvenir of something.

I put great stock in filling a house with memories and the presence of family and friends, rather than random ornaments or pictures of unfamiliar places and the few teddy toys are very much in that category.

BrianD3

Teddy bears, dolls etc. are used as a form of therapy for people with dementia. It's sad to see.

My mother was unsentimental and dumped most of the stuff from my early childhood but kept some items including two teddy bears. I shudder to think of getting dementia and sitting in a nursing home playing with my childhood teddies while sh*tting my pants.

Sardonicat

What about "toy rabbits", OP? Do they count?

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119412662#Comment_119412662

They're magnificent enough without counting. 😉

Sardonicat

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119412863#Comment_119412863

How true. Marvellous creatures.

You need another option "Not bothered".

Can't see the harm, personally.

anewme

I'd be strong and supportive

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119409461#Comment_119409461

Not sure why this is weird.

My dog sleeps at the end of my bed. Ive never slept as well since I got him.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119412639#Comment_119412639

My mam had dementia and passed away the end of last year. At one point she had a doll and it gave her huge comfort.

Your post is..... upsetting to read..I know it is just your opinion and my upset is my own but still. Nobody knows what is ahead of us. We can hope that we are cared for with kindness and dignity, as my mam was.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119413761#Comment_119413761

I am sorry to hear of your Mam's passing.

There was a woman in my mother's nursing home that had a doll as well, if anyone tried to take it away from her she became very upset, but would calm down immediately and was happy again once her "baby" was in her arms. Truly would break you heart to see.

If it gives comfort, what harm.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119413809#Comment_119413809

Yeah my granny 93 when she passed in recent times took great comfort from her doll in the home. It seems a technique that works for some and shouldn't be dismissed. She had her days when it was the only thing holding her together.

anewme

I'd be strong and supportive

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119413761#Comment_119413761

My Dad also has vascular dementia for the past 10 years from his 70's, and is in a care home and I also agree that post is incredibly ignorant and that is putting it very mildly.

Personal memories are all that are important at the end of the day. I wont let some ignorant bitter internet troll chasing likes on an anonymous forum take them from me.

Get some help, kermit.

kowloon

I'd be strong and supportive

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119413761#Comment_119413761

Sorry to hear it, both my grandparents on one side of the family had it. I've heard of people reliving past traumas and the likes. My grandparents luckily escaped that aspect of it. Music seemed to help. Watching birds on the bird feeder, that kind of thing.

As for the teddy thing in general: If it was a sudden change you would have to worry that something has happened, but if they've always done it, who cares? It's doing no harm, no different really to having any other kind of comfort to help you sleep. I fall asleep better with some kind of white noise or music playing in the background.

What sort of help should Kermit get? Very po-faced replies. I don't think Kermit is referring to people with Alzheimer's, or other vulnerable people.

But otherwise, it is unusual - I wouldn't blame someone for finding it strange initially. We all have initial reactions to things. We all judge - even people who pretend online to be perfect (ladies, you start seeing a 35-year-old man who brings a teddy to bed - you wouldn't find it unusual? Sure).

However, I don't think anyone who doesn't have some sort of emotional or psychological need would bring a soft toy to bed.

Leg End Reject

It's amazing how people read posts differently.

@BrianD3 acknowledged that dolls and teddies were used as therapy, then expressed a wish not to develop dementia. Ok, the language was blunt, but the meaning was clear.

I don't see why it's causing offence or he's been called a troll. I doubt any of us would chose to end our days like that. It's a cruel disease, but we can acknowledge that without poking fun t, or disrespecting patients who take comfort from dolls. It's a common enough sight in care homes, and yes, it really does help the patient.

Jequ0n

I don’t understand why anyone would care about this. There is weirder stuff you can take into your bed than a teddy or so.

bad2thebone

Dunno, let me think about it

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119414529#Comment_119414529

Absolutely, I think it's rather endearing that some people have something to keep them cosy and like to cuddle into something.

If I had a problem with others comforts, I'd be trying to ask myself, why am I bothered about what so and so does to get some sleep.

They could be cuddling into far worse.

@Kermit.de.frog

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119414387#Comment_119414387

Brian gave his opinion and is valid and real to him. It just struck a very sad chord with me is all.

As for poor Kermit, he doesn't need help although his Covid posts were on another level. Sorry @Kermit.de.frog 😆

I think dolls and teddies are a grand comfort if that's what works for you. It wouldn't do anything for me. What I do find extremely odd is 'reborns', basically dolls that are similar to babies and are taken care of as if they are. Again though they are clearly filling a need. See below,

How many adults are carrying around teddies or dolls though?

My adult daughter has a teddy from her childhood. It never leaves her bedroom, (except to be washed). It sits tucked in between the pillows on her bed, but she is attached to it, and would miss it if it wasn't there. I don't see anything weird about this.

I have a brother in his early 40s who has one of his baby blankets that he keeps tucked inside his pillowcase.

Again I ask, if something brings someone comfort, where is the harm?

Leg End Reject

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119415052#Comment_119415052

He didn't mock it though and acknowledged it's a form of therapy.

He expressed a hope that he doesn't develop dementia and from that he's been accused of being an ignorant troll attempting to steal memories.

Others have acknowledged it's sad to see patients with dolls in care homes without the same backlash, but no one has mocked it or the patients.

Kermit's post wasn't even about people with dementia, yet the psychologists of Boards have deemed he needs help.

It's a bizarre overreaction.

kowloon

I'd be strong and supportive

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119415052#Comment_119415052

I've seen a thing about these ultra-realistic baby dolls. I find them very creepy in an uncanny valley kind of way. But if they serve a purpose and work no harm. I just won't be going near it myself.

The same goes for robots that are supposed to look like people and have rubber skin over all the working components. I'm not sure we should be trying to perfect the Terminator. Furbys are little demon soft toys too.

Who said it's harmful?

And I don't believe for a second that people would be so open-minded in reality if they started going out with someone who brought a teddy to bed. Nobody said it's harmful, but it's unusual.

People are just trying to look holier than thou.

gameoverdude

I'd be strong and supportive

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119409827#Comment_119409827

I dunno about the strong and supportive tag, but no harm. I'd give them a big of slagging maybe after I know the reason they're so attached.

I'd not think much about it really, unless there 50 teddies. No big deal is my opinion.

Pets in the bed. No. Especially dogs or rattle snakes.