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Jebus, I fear my best days are behind me..... feels kind of depressing

  • 20-06-2022 4:35pm
    #1
    Posts: 0


    Man, since those covid lockdowns started it feels like some kind of time warp.

    Like the last three years my mind just went into autopilot.

    I never really feared aging before, mainly cause my lifestyle.

    Excellent diet, super fit, sharp mind, intellectually active etc..... not to mention my cutting-edge skin care routine (pardon me if I sound conceited).

    From about the middle of last summer for a few months I underwent a stressful period and noticed a few grey hairs emerging, which didn't compute given how well I look after myself, but thankfully they actually seem to have reversed now.

    None the less I can't shake this feeling like, I look around me and many of those whom I grew up with are married, families.

    I mean, I definitely took "the path less traveled" which seemed awesome at the time, travelling the world, living the life, but it's like sometimes I get this feeling of existential-crises like, "what if I in actual fact made the wrong decisions?".

    I guess I should count my blessings in one way, through covid etc all my loved-ones are still in good shape, Ireland is still a thriving country I have the privilege to live in and we're not getting invaded by some imperialist autocrat.

    But how much longer can I keep partying with college girls and passing myself off for "27" in nightclubs?

    It feels like one of these days I'm gonna get exposed and, honestly I don't know what I'm going to do when that day comes?

    My lifestyle is a young mans lifestyle, I have no plan B for getting older.....

    .......

    I mean, unless someone has the "verified guide to becoming a sugar-daddy" available?

    Does such a thing exist.... ?

    Post edited by Ten of Swords on


Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,228 ✭✭✭✭Dial Hard


    Do you ever actually stop talking shite???



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,860 ✭✭✭Pissy Missy


    Covid has def been a reflective time and also a time that has flew by. Sounds like you're seeing the impact of getting older and people are inevitably moving on/settling down around you.

    It sounds like you made the right decision at the time for yourself i.e. going traveling, which unless you're rich or have childcare on tap, wouldn't have been easy if you had other responsibilities. It sounds like you were living your best life.

    Time is flying by, which Im becoming more aware of, and with the impact of ageing, something you can see too it seems. So now is the time to think. Once you're enjoying your life, that's all that matters. Are you happy to stay a single bachelor out partying etc or do you want to get married with kids. Comparing ourselves to others and their situations can be helpful but can also be a hindrance. Once you have a pension, financial stability and a house, then your plan b is set, unless you're referring to a family that is.

    From a woman's perspective in her early 30s, the only thing that annoys me is that my married friends don't want to go clubbing anymore which sucks. I need single friends. I guess I can freeze my eggs in the mean time if kids are meant to be in the future for me.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I woke up last week and thought, "what the hell am I doing at this age?".

    And then after a little while I realized living in a house with the same person and a bunch of kids (the alternative, the convention) is my idea of a living nightmare.

    I'd probably go insane. For real.

    But that's where the issue arises. If I was legitimately 10 years younger or could be in my twenties forever, I'd be laughing.

    But I get older and society doesn't seem to cater to this non-conventionalism.

    The weirder thing is, athletically, I'm almost better than I ever have been which sucks even more cause the cut off point in competition is almost upon me (IABA don't grant an amateur licence after 35).

    You're meant to slow down athletically with age. I'm freakin' improving, which is great of course but like I said, sporting organization consider me over the hill almost already, by default.

    ......

    Point being, it's just weird. Society isn't set up for older ('ish) dudes who insistent on being perpetual adolescents.

    It's like there's a big dark and ominous cavern in front of me and I don't know what's ahead, it seems I have little choice but to find out, and I'm TERRIFIED it's going to be ugly and not the glamour I always assumed it would be when I was too young to know better.

    But your post is reassuring to read, cause I know at least I'm not alone with such a feeling.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,979 ✭✭✭YellowLead


    You’re fine, you’re a man - you’ll still be eligible to get married and have kids when you hit your 40s - in fact will be an attractive prospect for that. As long as you have your **** together a little bit.



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,860 ✭✭✭Pissy Missy


    I definitely feel you but I think my reasons are slightly different to yours. I went to college and naively chose a particular 'career' that's beyond difficult to reach the top of and until that's reached, it's a combination of voluntary work and ridiculously low paid jobs and further study. I was also in a serious accident which left me in a horrible state and jobless for the past few years. So I have medical and college debt and my savings are gone because of it so my regret of not being an avid saver in younger years eats me up but I'm hoping everything will work out in the end.

    Good to know you don't have any regrets or worries to have a family right now. That really sucks with IABA. Is there anything else you can join seeing as you're at your best right now? I do get you, so much ageism that goes on, I was approached to be a contestant for the rose of tralee but turned out I was 'too old' at 28🙄 and then working over in Australia it needs to be b4 you turn 35, hard times.

    It sucks when there's barriers with getting older but there can also be opportunities, wisdom and lived experience that we wouldn't have had when younger.



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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,771 ✭✭✭Montage of Feck


    We're only here for a short time not a good time. :)

    🙈🙉🙊



  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,597 ✭✭✭Witchie


    Pish. It's all in your head. I am almost 50 and just spent a few days on buses from Saranda, Albania to Zagreb, Croatia just for a music festival.


    Get on with it til your body gives up.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Mmmmm, a deeper look and I'd say not so dissimilar to be honest.

    In that I got on this track (unconventional perpetual youth) chasing what sounds like a similar extremely challenging and potentially unlikely career path (aspiring pro-athlete), that also involves effectively "bum pay" until you "get to the top";

    And ultimately also got side-lined/tracked due to unforeseen circumstances (or rather unforeseen demands of said career path).

    That's what I'm saying. I spent the majority of my life working toward something, and now that I'm potentially closing in on it, apparently the clock has run out on me and I'm left with nothing (except a potential existential crises, wondering whether I made all the wrong choices and fear/anxiety over what the future could look like now).

    Funny I knocked into an old coach last week and on that topic he said he was considering initiating a national "masters league".

    A masters league!?

    I was like, "bruh, up here?", tapping on the side of my head, "I'm still only 19 years old. I don't need a masters league, I'll kick these young athletes ass. I need the former/primitive cut off age to be reconsidered by the national governing body".

    But let's face it - it's one problem amongst many re getting older.

    Still more so at the forefront of my mind is "liaising" with girls far younger than me, associated shaming, social stigma, etcetera.



  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    I got to ask, is your hair still close to its original color... ?



  • Moderators, Category Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,380 CMod ✭✭✭✭Ten of Swords


    Nobody wants to discuss your latest blog post op


    And don't write another one here



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