Money Issues

overwhelmedandlost

Hi All

I hope this is ok to post but I feel its necessary to just bash out whats going on.

Also sorry for the super long post

My partner and I are both early 30's

We are together 6 years have lived together for 4 and I know she is the one

We both want the same things, we have talked about the future, were we want to go, a house, kids the whole lot

I had also planned on asking the big question later this year, no ring got yet but that was my plan.

Money tho as an enabler to all of the above is starting to make very overwhelmed.

She is now 14 weeks pregnant and I have realized since planning everything for the baby that even tho I earn a good wage I am shocking with money.

I never really save or have saved, it never bothered me until finding out the news.

we are both very excited however the reality of whats ahead and where we'd like to be is making us both stressed and overwhelmed.

I am doing what I can to make her feel secure but its starting to get to me now

With the cost of housing and whats needed for it I am starting to worry , not sleeping and well not coping too well day to day

We have created a joint account for savings for a house deposit.

Its going ok but relatively still small based on what we need, and also getting stuff ready for the baby its becoming very unrealistic that we will be where we need to be.

I have reached out to a financial planning officer and scheduled in an initial call as part of a benift with my health insurance

However I dont know where that will go or how I should go about this

Any help at all wouuld be greatly appreciated

Calahonda52

Boards Budget excel.xlsx

The starting point here is to start keeping an exact record of where all the money is going.

I mean all and exact :)

It needs to be written down.

So the simple model is start with aftertax income

You then need to put down all the daily spend, nothing wrong or right here, just put it all down.

You then need to deal with the annual payments, such as car insurance and spread that out over the year.

I will have a look for a blank spreadsheet, can you use excel?

Two tabs, one, master is locked so is you mess up you can see the formulas

download it and save a copy

fits

We all have to start somewhere. Believe me you can turn it around quite quickly. Progress will seem slow at first but it adds up and up and up. I hope when you meet the advisor and have an action plan you will feel better.

Purple Mountain

Regarding having a baby.

First time parents often feel overwhelmed and obliged to buy all the new accessories touted at them.

Good, clean second hand stuff is absolutely fine, such as a buggy, bouncer etc.

Have a look for Baby Fairs locally or on second hand websites.

You don't need every fiddle faddle that you see other parents with. I was in a baby shop buying a buggy when my lad was a baby and the woman trued to sell me something called a Bumbee, basically a mould that the baby could sit up in.

I figured for the length of time he would be fitting in it, it was just not necessary to me.

So don't get bogged down by the baby expenses.

There's ways and means to reduce the expenses.

I also found supermarket own brand nappies much better quality and much cheaper than some of the branded nappies.

Shop around.

Also, child benefit is around €140 per month until the child finishes education.

If you lock that away in a savings account from day one, you have the bones of 2 to 3 years of university expenses paid for for them.

fits

Agree 100% with second hand and better for the environment too.

YellowLead

Don’t panic and focus on the foreseeable future.

You really don’t need that much stuff. I would recommend a new car seat if you have a car, and if not breast feeding a new steriliser - everything else can be second hand. And the children’s allowance will leave a good dent in the nappies etc.

Im sure close relatives and friends will ask also what you need - you’ll likely get loads of presents and some people are good about asking what you actually need. Hand me down clothes are perfect and if you don’t have somebody to give you those, penny’s and Dunne’s are fine - they grow out of them in a matter of weeks.

Unfortunately a lot of people are in the same boat and can’t afford to buy when stuck renting, but it won’t be the end of the world if you have to rent for a few more years.

Gusser09

Hi OP,

I was a little similar with money. Probably not as bad but there are a few simple things you can do to ensure you have a few quid to put into a credit union or something.

1. Go through receipts and bank statements from the last two months to see where all of you money is being spent.
2. Work out what you actually needed to spend and what was a waste.
3. Budget, This is key. Don't leave yourself shot on groceries for the week. You'd be surprised just how much you can save by not going into the shops during the week if you do a good shop. The 6 euros here and 8 euros there really do add up over the course of a month.
4. If you order takeways use an app like just eat. It helps you keep track of what you are spending.
5. Set up a standing order to take 40 euro a week out of your wages when they are paid in. After a while you just won't notice it.
6. Subscriptions. I downgraded Netflix and got rid of spotify. That was around 16 quid saved. Down graded my internet package. Another 10 quid saved. I really don't miss any of it either. That's 26 euro a month saved straight away.
7. If you like coffee buy a tassimo and a decent keep cup. I was spending 15 quid a a week on coffees. So between the above subs and savings I was now saving 86 euro a month.

You just need to get a plan and follow it. Things wiil right themselves. There is a lot of advice online so don't be wasting your money on any of that. You don't seem to be in major debt either so head up.

ThreeGreens

As others have said:

1. Record exactly where all your money is going. Don't let so much as a packet of crisps escape your spreadsheet recording for at least a month.
2. Decide which of those items are really important to you and which you can cut out.
3. Decide which (if any) savings can be made on (eg downgrading packages, or changing provider or even just asking for a discount).
4. Make a lost of all the bills you pay on a non-monthly basis. Eg Annual car insurance, road tax, servicing, health insurance, property tax, TV licence, holiday. Add them all up and divide by 12 to get the monthly cost (of 52 if you're paid weekly). Set up a standing order to transfer this out of your account into a deposit account each pay period. That way you've saved for the annual bills and they aren't a shock when they come around.
5. With the above done, draw up a budget. Being able to see that your income will cover your expenses (even if it means cutting back on stuff) is a huge stress reliever. You know you are going to be ok, so long as you stick to the budget. If there is something that you really need to overspend for, then that's ok, provided you cut back on another area in the same period.
6. Some of those funds, each pay period, should be put into another deposit account to deal with either an emergency or deposit for home purchase.

The key to stress relief is knowledge and making your finances predictable and foreseeable.

Musefan

Sorry to hear you both have additional stress at this time. I’ll name my privilege in that we recently had a baby and money is not an issue for us at the moment. We bought and bought and bought and then saw we didn’t need the half of it. Zero waste baby freecycle on Facebook would be a godsend for you/ just post what you’re seeking out and keep an eye on what’s being put up.Second hand (barring car seat & cot mattress) is the way to go, and sites like Kindora can get you high quality travel systems etc for half the price. I got an ex display travel system for approx 500 on it, when it usually costs 1.2k new. The cost of nappies will be most expensive in the initial weeks but will drop down as baby does less dirty/wet ones. You might need to factor about 15 euro or so per month for baby toiletries like creams, bath and body wash, teething stuff etc. Childcare is obviously a biggy but you will find that if your partner is taking mat leave, there’s a chance to save on the commuting costs etc. Your baby is lucky to have two parents who are already so considerate of their needs and in that sense, baby already has more than enough!

Musefan

Also to note, some expenses don’t need to be immediate eg don’t bother with an expensive cot- we had an upstairs Moses basket, upstairs cosleeper cot, and large nursery cot. Baby currently will only sleep in the bed beside me! If I were doing it again, I’d get just the cosleeper or even a petite/mini cot and leave it at that till you see what suits. As the other poster said, don’t be swayed by additional gadgets. In fact, walkers, exersaucers etc, seat apparatus are not recommended. Stick with a bouncer if needed. Don’t be duped by the 400 euro plus high chairs either! Ikeas cheapest 15 euro option actually ticks all of the boxes that a good highchair should have.

The_Honeybadger

As above put everything down on a spreadsheet or even get a calculator and a piece of paper, it needn’t be complicated.

Below is a system that I use pretty effectively but the main thing is to become familiar with what is coming in and out and being organised

Put down your net income at the top of a spreadsheet and then list all fixed monthly costs like rent, car, insurance, Sky, gym etc etc. You’ll be surprised how quickly these add up and you’ll probably be able to identify several costs that you can eliminate by doing this. Most of us have subscriptions to things we never / rarely use. Ideally get all of these expenses coming out of one main current account and get your salary paid in here as well.

Once you total the essential costs what’s left is what you can plan with. Allocate X amount to savings, whatever you can genuinely afford and move it to a savings account on pay day.

Move another set amount weekly or monthly to a Revolut or dedicated account for living expenses, food, entertainment etc. Make sure it is realistic and that you can stick to it. This is really important, if you are spending freely with a debit card you are virtually guaranteed to spend more than you plan for.

I try to leave a bit of a buffer build up in my main current account for surprises but with the cost of living rising so quickly this is becoming more difficult and it will be outright impossible for many people.

I sat down and worked all this out a few years ago, when I did I was shocked at how much money I was pi**ing away on nothing, coffees, lunches etc etc. I’m much more disciplined now and much better off for it.

Regarding the upcoming baby expenses I’ve been there and done that. So many people but lots of unnecessary stuff and crazy expensive car seats and buggies etc. Get the basics and you’ll find that family members and friends are often more than happy to pass on used stuff. Don’t be too proud to accept it.

Girl Geraldine

Edit to remove post

Girl Geraldine - I have removed the content of your post. Please do not suggest making a fraudulent application as a problem solver. As per the Charter this can result in a forum ban so please refrain from such suggestions in future.

HS

lisasimpson

Agree with the poster re baby stuff. Way too much pressure on social media etc that you need to but xy and z and in reality you wont end up using half it.

Check out facebook market place, done deal and adverts for cribs, co sleepers changing tables etc. Thats where we got half the stuff for a fraction of the price. For co sleepers etc just buy a new materess.

Also there is a brillant irish website called prelovedclothing for baby and kids clothes loads of stuff there with tags still on them.

Also join pages like babydoc club.recently they gave out vouchers for nappys to anyone who wanted one all you had to do is pay the postage. They regularly do baby boxes where again you just pay postage

fatherted1969

All of the above really, I'd also advise setting up a standing order a day or sa after your wages go to deposit a portion of your wages to an account that cannot be accessed easily. This way you are showing ability to save regularly with whatever bank you are with should you be thinking of a mortgage. Best of luck, those early years with kids arent easy

Furze99

Don't think OP mentioned if partner is working. If she is and that income is important, then some planning needed for when maternity benefit ends. Arrangements re childcare if she's going back to work which can be costly. If on other hand, you can manage on one income - then that's a lot simpler and better for your child to be honest. Actual costs for a new born as others mention above can be greatly mitigated, unless you want to follow all the fashionable consumer trends that are on the go. Kids tend to get unavoidably more 'expensive' in their teenage and young adult years. But as babies, they really require very little other than your time.