moving too fast?

odunade

Met a guy a month ago online.

He wants us to go on a holiday but I think it's too fast but he doesn't think it is.

Also feel like I am being pushed for most things... instead of letting things happen naturally.

Gant21

Pull on the handbrake including coitus.

Buddy Bubs

I was in a 2 month dating/relationship whatever it was and that included going abroad for a weekend and her coming to my sisters wedding. It lasted another few weeks after the whirlwind start. Weekend abroad was her idea, wedding was mine. We went way too fast without even knowing.

Current relationship I was still made work for every date/gig after 6 months, she just wanted to take things slow, and we didn't holiday until well after a year. Its very strong now because we built a foundation.

So it depends. If you think it's too early then its too early. If he's a decent guy he will understand.

rolling boh

Go at the pace you are comfortable with going on holiday with someone you hardly know is taking a chance costing you money and then you are stuck with someone you hardly know .He may be looking for sex and if its not happening as soon as he wants he will be off and onto the next girl .

YellowLead

I think that sounds insane to be honest. I met a fruit loop like that before. Run!!! He’s clearly desperate or controlling, one or the other.

WildWater

I agree with YellowLead and would add, don’t go without checking his luggage for an entrenching tool (shovel).

Big Bag of Chips

He wants us to go on a holiday but I think it's too fast but he doesn't think it is.

It doesn't matter what he thinks. You feel it is too soon for a holiday together. So that's your decision. If he is forcing you into situations that you are not comfortable with then you have to take that as him showing you who he is. Your thoughts and feelings on situations won't matter. He'll make all decisions and you'll be expected to go along with it. Regardless of your feelings.

He is letting you know now that his opinion is more valid than yours.

Jequ0n

What’s the issue? Why don’t you just tell him that you feel you are moving too fast? He can’t know that you are uncomfortable with something if you don’t tell him.

bitofabind

Your last sentence is the biggest red flag. He’s pushing at a pace that’s not comfortable for you and doesn’t seem to care that it’s not comfortable for you. Is that the kind of relationship you want for yourself? Do your needs not matter?

Tork

Let's reverse the roles for a moment and have you suggesting the holiday instead. What would your response be?

Printer25

Totally way too fast. You met online. You have yet to know him properly. You don't get that assessment within a month of dating someone. A holiday entails nights away from family/ friends or any support or refuse. Is the holiday abroad? I'd play on the side of caution and wait until you are ready. If he is serious about you, he will wait till you are ready. He needs to surely realise you need more time to date in order to feel comfortable doing that. You presuming are looking for something serious and being pushed around so early in dating is a red flag. X

Fred Astaire

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119188223#Comment_119188223

I travel abroad 5-6 times a month so bringing someone abroad with me when I go, even after about 2 months, wouldn't mean much more to me than inviting them over to mine for the weekend. Maybe he is coming from a place where he frequently travels and doesn't see it as a big deal?

It would be a very casual - I'm in London next weekend, if you want to come over you are more than welcome, it might be fun - we can book your flight and I already have the hotel sorted. If not, no worries.

But if I invited a person, and they were expressing discomfort over the idea I certainly wouldn't be fighting them on it or insisting.

1 month in is probably a few weeks earlier than I'd be extending the invitation too I suppose.