Is girlfriend stringing me along? Sexless Relationship

flying high

Hi so my girlfriend was away twice abroad for work not long ago and I found a few lingerie items which I have never seen her wear for me . She actually has never worn anything like this for me.To top it off we haven't had sex in a few months .

She never initiatives its always me . I know she has body issues but we have been together 6 years and still doesn't like getting dressed in front of me . Other then our sex life our relationship is good we get and have the same interests and don't fight alot, but the sex isn't there . I was thinking of popping the question in the near future but now I'm not so sure and I can't be in a sex less relationship if we aren't having sex now I can't think of what it would be like we a child in the future .

I'm just not sure how to bring it up as she not one to talk about it . I'm getting frustrated and second guessing alot of things .

Jequ0n

Why are you even considering marrying her if you are in a relationship in which your needs aren’t met?

If she has body issues and doesn’t want to address them, and prefers to live in denial, there is little you can do. By all means talk to her and explain how it makes you feel, but I wouldn’t hold my breath.

flying high

Well it's not like there has been no sex for 6 years just the last few months . I think alot of women don't like there body sure alot of people don't like there body but she isn't even on the heavy side . I would like to try to get back to wear we wear instead of just throwing it all away .

The Mighty Quinn

If a lack of interest in sex is just something that's happened in the last few months of a six year relationship, that doesn't mean it's game over for sex. You need to approach her about it and have an honest conversation. Ask her if anything has changed that has reduced/removed her interest in sex. Maybe she's under pressure with something, maybe she's stressed and sex isn't something of interest. Maybe there's something physical going on with her that she's embarrassed or reluctant to talk about.

Your first lines insinuate that she's perhaps having her sexual needs met outside of the relationship - maybe this is the case, maybe not. If she has confidence issues, then maybe buying herself sexy underwear was something she did for herself to help her feel good about herself. There's every chance she bought the underwear for herself, not to titillate somebody else.

Dial Hard

I agree with TMQ, if this is only a recent development then there's definitely a good chance it's fixable. However, I would 100% advise you not to propose until this is sorted one way or another. This forum has seen hundreds of posts over the years from men stuck in sexless marriages, who went it to it with extant intimacy issues but somehow thought getting married would somehow fix things. Newsflash: it didn't. It never does.

Sit down and talk to her - outside of the bedroom. Explain how you're feeling and ask her how she's feeling. Let her know you love her and you want to figure this out together.

Hannibal_Smith

Mod note

Thread closed pending review.

@flying high please read your PMs.

Thanks

HS