It seems the definition of civilian has somewhat been redefined in Ukraine as people like me are not considered civilians when it comes to refugee and rescue efforts. How come it seems no notice is taken of this as its clearly discrimination along with worrying.
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The definition of Civilian in international law is "not military". That does not mean, however, that the government cannot force some form of service in times of emergency even amongst those not in the military. Or even non-emergency, as many European countries had, and some still have, the mandatory choice between military service and civil/community service, the latter are still civilian even though it was not voluntary.
Arguments over sexual equality are good in academic circumstances, but the practical reality is that some form of simple dividing line is required which can be easily processed by the executive organs. The country cannot keep tabs of every citizen's personal circumstance to determine if they're single parents, working mom vs stay-at-home-dad, age of offspring, dependent caregivers, or anything else. Making the dividing line "able-bodied Men of military age" vs "everyone else" is the simplest form of distinguisher which will have the most efficient result in manpower capability.
Every poll taken of Ukrainian citizenry says they overwhelmingly (90%) are more uncompromising than their government - who are you to dictate their lives to them?