A Neighbourhood where EVERYBODY was a Fan either of Ryan Tubridy Show, Joe Duffy or Ray D'Arcy Shows

30-05-2022 5:45pm #1

The neighborhood is divided equally between top fans of each Presenter.

What residents would have the most authority? What residents would be the most "bleeding heart". What residents would be the most gullible?

I believe Tubs fans would be the most "knowlegeable" because they are told so much on the 'QT' amid the "riffing" and the music.

Joe Duffy fans would be the most righteious. Whatever 'bad job' they complain about, why, they could do that role themselves and better than the agent.

Ray D'Arcy fans - Live horse & eat grass.

How do you think this neighbourhood would develope over time? (Did you ever play Sim City?)

buried · 30-05-2022 8:13pm

If Hell does indeed exist, that's exactly the sort of kip I'll be heading into

sam t smith · 30-05-2022 8:18pm

Sounds like something out of Dante’s Inferno.

What crimes would you need to commit to end up in this hell hole?

Gregor Samsa · 31-05-2022 9:38am

There would be a child born in the neighbourhood. A child born not of a union between Tubridyists and D’Arcyites. Or D’Arcyites and Duffyologists. No, a child born of pure light. The child would be special - in possession of a gift that no Boardsie in the neighborhood possessed: the ability to turn off a radio. This child would wander from house to house, simply rendering the radios silent. At first, everyone would be shocked. "But we have to listen to the radio, even if we hate everything we hear. It is the way!". Then, slowly people would realise: There are music services you can use that allow you to magically stream whatever music you want, so that you don't have to just listen to whatever music the radio presenter you don't like decides to play. There are podcasts - millions of them - where one can choose a presenter they enjoy or a topic that interests them. There was also silence - a strange but calming state where people would get on with what they were doing with no disembodied person talking from a box.

Suddenly, a new world was opened up to the neighborhood. A world where they could chose to listen to something they enjoyed, or choose to listen to nothing at all. For a while, the people were blissfully happy. No more bitterness because a man on the radio said something stupid they didn't agree with. No more rage at accents and pronunciation their delicate ears found objectionable. The neighborhood became paradise. They took all their radios and built a giant pyre and danced into the night as the wirelesses burned.

But one day, a dark cloud appeared on the horizon. The people of the neighborhood began to feel uncomfortable in their utopia. The little annoyances in their lives began to appear magnified. Unease spread, as they began to look in on themselves and their own lives, and see imperfections, contradictions. But they had no means to deal with these things. The monotony of only listening to music they enjoyed no longer gave pleasure. The podcasts - educational and slickly produced - merely reminded them of all the things they didn't know yet. There was something lacking - a soul, a humanity, an emotion. But no-one could put their finger on what it was. One day, an old man pressed pause on Spotify, removed his headphones and turned to the young woman beside him in the supermarket. "You know what I miss?" he said mournfully. "The misery."

Word spread. Yes, this is what was lacking. People finally had a word for it. But it was lost. How to get it back? Rumours circulated of a cave in the hills far beyond the neighborhood. It was said that on a still night, one could hear wailing from the cave. An awful, soul curdling cry, like a million disaffected people complaining about a trivial matter. Maybe the missing misery was to be found there? The neighborhood assembled a team. They would venture forth. It was their only hope.

After three days, fueled only by Serial and The Joe Rogan Experience, they reached the cave. Trembling, the old man from the supermarket slowly made his way up to the entrance. It was black - a void, impenetrable to light. They stood, staring into it, unsure of what to do.

Suddenly, a voice from the darkness echoed. "Hello, callers. Yiz have been havin' a terrible hard time of it without de radio. Tell me all abou' it..."