Are you able to let go and be your true self?

Horn_of_Africa

https://youtu.be/JEZXtcOIr0E

Jim_Hodge

Care to elaborate? I'm not opening a blind link.

Horn_of_Africa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119131987#Comment_119131987

It's a video of someone struggling on stage to be themself, struggling to drop the front they present to the world, and reconnect with their true self that they hide from the world because they believe they are not good enough.

It's people like yer man the host of it that stop the rest of us being ourselves..

Jim_Hodge

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119132042#Comment_119132042

Sounds like someone with problems. If you can't be yourself then you're nobody.

Horn_of_Africa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119132078#Comment_119132078

99.9% of people are not themselves, likely including you. The very act of civilising a child to prepare them for adulthood causes the child to repress part of who they are, those parts which were not deemed acceptable either by their parents, teachers or some other authority in their life.

Horn_of_Africa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119132051#Comment_119132051

How so?

Jim_Hodge

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119132148#Comment_119132148

If you believe so, fair enough.

Good luck with life.

Horn_of_Africa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119132184#Comment_119132184

It's true, it's the reason why people become anxious public speaking. Deep down they are afraid people will see through the front, they fear people seeing their true selves.

I bid you adieu, best of luck.

newmember2

..."when did it kick in?"...snaps fingers!!...wtf...lol

Jequ0n

Nobody is their true self when engaging with others. Personally I don’t even think a true self exists at all, but each to their own.

Horn_of_Africa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119132382#Comment_119132382

Your true self is what you feel and think inside. The front is what you present to the world after you filter the true self.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119132397#Comment_119132397

Yes, and I don’t think anyone is genuine around others, though most will tell themselves they are. Interesting topic btw.

Horn_of_Africa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119132420#Comment_119132420

There's a continuum I would say. You might be 90% yourself around certain people, close friends perhaps, and 20% in other situations, such as at work. We're born 100% ourselves, a 2 year old doesn't give a fukc, that is much healthier for mental health than how most adults are.

As the 2 year old gets older, and chastised and told what is good behaviour and bad behaviour, they begin to repress parts of themselves to get approval, to feel safe and loved by their parents, as the world is a scary place they don't understand.

They become socially anxious, and awkward because they are trying to manage how people perceive them. They need alcohol and drugs to let the personality they repressed back out, as it has been buried so deep, they just can't let go otherwise.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119132430#Comment_119132430

I agree that there are different situations in which you might reveal more about yourself. Unfortunately, I think most people are too stupid to realise that they constantly define their perceived “true self” depending on outside factors. The same applies to the 2 year old who realises that they get a better outcome if they react a certain way.

igCorcaigh

Different topics being discussed here perhaps... Yes, the "true self" that people shield with a persona in a social setting, some of this is quite understandable and maybe necessary for society to function, the working environment etc.

And then there is the bigger idea of the "true self" which may not exist at all. Everything is constructed, but that doesn't imply dishonesty. Nature is a process of construction after all.

Interesting topic OP, thank you.

looksee

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119131987#Comment_119131987

Its an obnoxious man doing a promotional video. I didn't pursue the link (rightly or wrongly I reckon youtube links are harmless) but he appears to a 'life coach' touting for business.

igCorcaigh

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119132714#Comment_119132714

I didn't go to the content in the OP, an interesting question nonetheless, which can be interpreted in many different ways.

Anyway, to fuk with life coaches and gurus. There really is no universal answer.

Ubbquittious

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119132430#Comment_119132430

Wow you are spot on

Leg End Reject

It's definitely true that we all learned to modify our behaviour as children to fit societal norms as we were taught them. Most of us place a high value on manners, a social construct that differs between cultures.

I definitely behave differently in work, with acquaintances and those close to me.

However, if we went through life acting out our conscious thoughts and desires we would likely all be unemployed, friendless, and quite likely, disliked by those closest to us.

Outspoken people who dare to say what they think are deemed rude and offensive, so most of us try to fit in and keep the darker thoughts to ourselves, it's probably why so many are neurotic.

Ham Grenade

Not really as there are apparently laws against public fapping

Ubbquittious

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119132905#Comment_119132905

The whole process is a bit like foot binding really. Then once you get a bit older they invent a whole new set of social norms to inflict on you.

Ive always been fairly outspoken, got me into a pile of trouble in school and I've probably had a few plot behind my back in work as well. It's gas how to majority of society are just complicit in keeping the sh1tshow on the road, even seeing some moral high ground in doing so

chrissb8

The self is mediated on the fact that you are true to yourself in all situations. What people don't realise is that there are many aspects to oneself and those are exaggerated in different contexts.

One can be assertive, confident and knowledgeable within a professional context, with humour and mischievousness dialled way down but still present a subtle nugget or two of their humour in one or two passing jokes to lighten the mood.

One can then be loud, funny and charming within a social context like a party or a social event. These are the fun traits that we see as who we really are. In reality, you are everything that you are in different situations.

You will have certain "modes" for certain situations and these are all valid to you as they are how you are "naturally" within those given contexts. There are 1000's of different variables that dictate how much of these characteristics need to be expressed and to what degree.

What is not being your true self is compromising on beliefs, view points and trying to make a square peg fit a round hole just to get by. That core of values you have is the thing that informs all the above characteristics and how you live your life. That is being your true self.