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Keep seeing same person/car everywhere, panic attacks.

  • 25-04-2022 6:38pm
    Registered Users Posts: 6 Nolurking2022

    So im a 35yr old male, work in a factory,and am living with my girlfriend in a decent estate not too far from town, we are here 4 years now. There are about 12 houses on our street and generally, the neighbours are grand and people look out for each other. Its a quiet street and leads to another road behind a local Tesco so if you pass by regularly, you generally live in the area.

    Just after the pandemic, about April 20, i noticed the same car would drive around the general area a few times a day,and at different times of the day, mostly driven by a guy about 30, sometimes with another woman in the passenger seat. Nothing unusual you might say. However, this car has now become a daily sight on the street and whats really odd is anytime it passes me he just stares me out of it. Pure blank neutral look on him. I presumed he knew me but hes not familiar at all and im getting quite unnerved by them because why the hell would you stare at someone if you didnt know them?? I have about 10 close mates and i know most peoples head fron the town but this guy is a randomer.

    Again, not a real life issue at all but what tipped me into distress recently was i was heading to tesco the other evening which is a 5min walk and lo and behold your man passes me in the car, slowing down as he passed and just looked blankly at me again. This time i looked back at him and shrugged as if to say whats your problem. He drove off with a grin on his face and im actually getting paranoid now. Is he looking for drugs and mistaking me for someone else...are they casing my house to see when its free to rob me...just nutters? I dont know and when i mentioned it to herself she just laughed and said they were probably just new to town or work strange hours. Even when i slipped it into chat with the neighbour he was casual and said he didnt recognise them and saw him coming in and out of the local shop,but didnt seem too worried about it.

    Im now feeling very jittery going out and about and i feel like a complete idiot. Im just an average working joe, likes a laugh and a few pints saturday, watching the match, catching up with mates etc and now anytime i see this car im starting to panic. They cruise by at 10am...lunchtime...once even at 1am when i was going to the toilet. They dont appear to be looking at my house in particular but its the staring as he passes thats leading me to get very nervous. I was even considering waiting for him as he left the local shop and asking him what his problem is but i cant do that, what on earth would i say.."stop staring at me?".

    This might seem trivial to some people but im getting a very bad gut feeling about these complete strangers who all of a sudden are everywhere and for some reason this man is going out of his way to observe me. Should i go the guards? Maybe throw his car up on the instagram neighbourhood watch? What would you do in this situation? Thank you for reading.


  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]

    He's probably just a weirdo, however..

    Maybe take note of his reg and if anything else happens, report it to the Guards. Just relay to them what you've said here, including how he's deliberately slowing down to stare at/intimidate you etc (even though you don't know him at all). They can check if he's from the area, and if not, get an answer as to why he's constantly driving around the estate and acting suspiciously.

    The neighbourhood watch idea isn't a bad one, either. Good luck.

  • Registered Users Posts: 5,533 ✭✭✭Jequ0n

    Panic attack? Are you sure about that?

    You keep staring at the same person every time they pass you and you are wondering why they might be staring back at you?

    Ignore them and you’ll find they will stop being an issue. Nothing has happened since you first noticed them which means they are not a threat. Might be worth having a chat with your GP as well.

    Post edited by Jequ0n on

  • Registered Users Posts: 211 ✭✭SunnySundays

    I'm assuming you mean April 2022 rather than last week?

    With the greatest of respect, serial killers, murderers, drug dealers, burglars and other people of sinister motive, are not know for their level of patience. If he was out to cause harm, I strongly suspect he would have done so my now.

    I really think you need to speak to someone, GP or therapist about your mental health. This appears to bordering on obsessive, is possible driving by anxiety or paranoia.

    Covid has really messed with a lot of people's mental health and in a lot of case people had no prior mental health issues. You need to get a handle on it. You also refer to strangers everywhere, it seems to one man with an occasional passenger.

    On a seperate note, do you smoke weed or have you increased the amount over lockdown? The reason I ask is that a former housemate many years ago started reacting similar you you about strangers and repeated sightings of people that the rest of us couldn't understand. He was off work sick with an injury at the time and went from a casual smoker to a very heavy smoker and his paranoid got out of control. Just a thought...

  • Registered Users Posts: 12,740 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain

    No harm give a ring to local Garda Station

    Say car acting suspiciously driving slowly at regular intervals.

    Give reg.

    To thine own self be true

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  • Registered Users Posts: 256 ✭✭j2

    You can absolutely call somebody out if they're staring at you, it can be a very aggressive gesture depending on how it's done. It might be better to force a confrontation than have it playing on your mind.

  • Administrators Posts: 13,021 Admin ✭✭✭✭✭Big Bag of Chips

    He's probably not casing your house. He's probably looking at you, because just as you've noticed him around a lot, he has probably noticed you a lot. So he could be blankly looking at you thinking "There's yer man again. I seem to see him every time I drive past." When you stared at him, he looked back as if to ask what your problem is.. That seems like a reasonable reaction.

    He might live on the road behind Tesco. His gf might live on road, or his mother, or his uncle, or his gf's sister. You really don't have enough evidence to state he's up to no good. And he could just as easily say everytime he drives past you look at him!

    Ring the guards if you want. Give them his reg number. He might be up to no good, but it's more likely that he's just an average fella with a perfectly reasonable explanation why he's regularly driving past.

  • Registered Users Posts: 6 Nolurking2022

    Thanks very much for your replies so far, and you have given me a few points to reflect on. I know the staring at people who pass you is a two way street but its extremely hard not to look back at someone who is making a conscious effort to look at you. Thats why i presumed this chap knew me, but you wouldnt keep looking at someone unless you had a reason to.

    I would write him off as just some weirdo were it not for the fact that he delibarately slowed his car down on my way to the shops and stared at me. If i had my time back i would have went up to him and asked him what his problem was but i just shrugged and he had this weird grin on his face. If he did that to a woman, people here would be telling me to ring the guards straight away. Its like hes stalking me, i never dealt with this thing before.

    I saw him coming out of the garage yesterday and my instant thought was "yeah i could take him if i had to" i was sizing him up but thats not a natural way to think. Im going to pretend he doesnt exist when he passes me again but i put up his reg on the local neighbourhood facebook just in case hes actually dangerous. If by chance i catch him slowing down again im going to ask him does he have a problem. Hopefully that will end it.

  • Registered Users Posts: 178 ✭✭eirmail

    By any chance could he have a new born baby that he is trying to get to sleep? Some people bring baby's for a drive to get them asleep

    Regarding the looks he gives you, are you by any chance looking at him? and is his look a response.

  • Registered Users Posts: 21,818 ✭✭✭✭Esel

    It is possible that it could be an unmarked/undercover garda car.

    Do you have any 'prominent' neighbours?

    Not your ornery onager

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  • Registered Users Posts: 32,093 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato
    Golgafrinchan 'B' Ark

    2 or 3 aerials on the roof and no insurance disc? 😉

    Bring back the :pac:

  • Registered Users Posts: 8,443 ✭✭✭pgj2015

    If you ask him what his problem is, you could be starting it rather than ending it. If he is a bad apple he might take a serious dislike to you and escalate things, have had a similar experience before with the local scumbag.

  • Registered Users Posts: 651 ✭✭✭Sir Galahad

    If you wander around inside Dublin Castle regularly you’ll see the same cars with no aerials but different reg plates on different day. Don’t ever fall into the “they all have several aerials and no insurance disc” mindset. 😎

  • Registered Users Posts: 13,197 ✭✭✭✭Dav010

    Remember, every time you see him, he is probably seeing you. Is your reason for being out an about more or less unusual than his? Personally, if there was a genuine reason for me being out driving and you came up and challenged me about it, I would think you were a thug/trouble maker and would have no option but to become defensive.

    On the other hand, if you are right and he is a crim but acting in self defence if you challenge him, you could get a serious hiding, or worse, and it would be your fault.